I think I have found a supportive VBAC Dr...What do you think?

[Bronzdbebe]

Hi Everyone,

I'm 31 weeks pregnant and since the birth of my first son I have been planning my vbac...I just can't even contemplate electing have another CS after my first experience and the feeling that I had about birth and myself after DS was born. DS's birth story here if you want to read it...

https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...-length-91090/

I have found a fantastic Dr who I have found to be extremely supportive, we have discussed all my concerns and I'm feeling confident. A few things that have been bought up are..

She has explained she would prefer me to have a Catheda (spelling sorry) which I'm not opposed too and constant monitoring is not something she feels is necessarily a must have as there are other ways to check distress etc

I'm free to plod along till 40+10 until we discuss my options for induction (not instantly a repeat cs) options discussed were membrane rupture and stretch and sweep

One thing I'm concerned about is going over DS was 10 days late) and she said she would be happy to do a stretch and sweep each week from 37-38 weeks if I wanted..has anyone else had this done?

We have discussed pain relief as that was another one of my concerns ( with DS I felt like after they broke my waters the pain was just unbelievable and like I almost went into shock? and that's when things stalled) And she was happy for me to have an epidural/gas...she said this was a personal choice, was allowing both (I did't like pethadine)

She is not concerned about the babies head not being engaged before the start of labor...( I know it doesn't matter but I have read some really upsetting stories of women not being allowed to attempt a VBAC for this soul reason alone so I thought I'd ask her?)

I haven't asked yet and She has not expressed any time frame for me to go into the hospital after contractions start but if DH has anything to do with it I'll be there 2 days before they start lol

Does this all sound positive...I think it does but I have so much going on in my head of course the only logical place to seek help was here!!

Is there anything here that sounds dodgy or you would recommend me re chatting to her about??

Thanks in advance xo

[Bella29]

hmm.. well this is just my opinion, but I think that you should steer well clear of any forms of inductions. the most recent study of Australian women (30,000 of them) showed ur rate of rupture is only .01% if you don't have any form of induction. Also I would definitely not be having a stretch and sweep at all let alone from 37 weeks! That is really not good for you and does risk rupturing your embranes and also passing bacteria from the outside up to your baby. Also there isn't anything to say that it is more dangerous for you or your baby if you go to full term, ie 42 weeks completed and then the risks increased are the same very small increase that all pregnancies have after 42 weeks. being a VBAC mum doesn't change that. So don't let any OB convince you that if you go past a certain date something terrible is going to happen. As long as you and your baby is healthy, then there is no reason not to continue a pregnancy

The most worrying thing about your post for me is that you have given her all the power. It is all there in your language. "she will let me" "she is happy for me". What about you?? See in my opinion, we as women "let" dr's do things to us, they don't "let" us have things done to us. That would imply that they have the power over your body, not you. I think that if you are going to have the best shot at getting the vbac that you want, then you have to own your body and own your experience. You need to understand that the only things that dr's do to you are the things that you consent to.

I think that you need to get a doula. Someone who can be with you who believes that your body works and that you can birth your baby on your own.

Good luck honey. You have started out right, you are asking questions. Keep doing that. Read everything you can. Most of all trust that if your body is left alone completely, then you will labour at a pace that you and your baby can cope with. It may not be pain free, but it will be what you can cope with

xx Bella

[Bronzdbebe]

Thanks for your reply Bella...exactly what I needed to hear!!

I had never heard of S&S from that early either so I just thought I'd ask...No harm right!

You have hit the nail on the head with my language...I really need to get control of myself, and more to the point my fears!

In our first appointment (with my GP) we (my DH & I) started discussing my preference to try for a VBAC and amongst many things that were bought up were scar rupture, fetal distress etc and while they are in the back of my mind I have tried really hard to keep chanting in my head "My scar is strong, I can do this" over and over again but DH I don't think realized that either of those things could/would happen so so he raced out of the room sweating and covering his mouth so not to be sick! He tried to explain that the thought of loosing me or the baby was something that never occurred to him and even though we were told how low those risks were he still couldn't get it out of his head and he also thought that by scar rupture he thought it would be like me sitting on the lounge having a contraction and then all of a sudden my stomach would burst open (sorry if thats tmi)...making him freak out

I guess his fear and apprehension has left me a little shaky, he has done quite a lot of reading since then and has said he will support me in whatever I decide to do. But I feel like my confidence has dropped and I'm the sort of person that hates being out of control of things and so when someone else can swoop in and take control it sometimes just seems so much easier hence I guess my ease at letting the dr dictate what when how....

But I kind of think at least I know that I'm like that and have started addressing it now! I know I just need to jump back on my support band wagon and start cheering myself on again!

I just need to hear strong words from others who are going to back ME and so Bella thank you...back to reading the success stories!!!

Thanks xx

[Bella29]

Your welcome love You can do this!! I also know the problem of having a scared DH. Mine is terrified. Not because of any real threat, but because he is a dr and he has actually seen a woman die in theatre. Incidentally she wasn't a VBAC mum. It has nothing to do with reality of my chance of risk. It has to do with his previous experience and his fear. I acknowledge those things and support him. Ultimately tho I needed to do what I am doing (having a vbac at home in a few weeks) for me. Because I am worth it, and my health is worth it, to be given the best chance of a successful shot at birthing my baby. But that is just my choice, and I am not suggesting that you need to do that, just that you deserve a chance and good support. Also remember that men are the weaker sex and they need us to lead the way often.

I hear you about handing over control over things. For me sometimes my personality just hates to fail at things so much, that if I am scared to fail it is much easier to hand over control to someone else. That way I can blame them if things don't go right. then it wasn't that I didn't succeed, it was cos I didn't try. Somehow my personality copes with that a fair bit better. That being said, after the birth of my DD I really struggled to cope emotionally with what had happened. I felt so ripped off by the people around me and the lack of support I had recieved despite the trust I had placed in their hands, that it simply wasn't an option to do that again. For me this time I only have people around me to help with this birth, who deeply intrinsically believe that my body works and that I can birth my baby. I also believe that they can't and won't do this for me. This is my work to do. This is my power as a woman. My doula won't do it for me, nor will my MW. I will do this for me, because I can. Because I want it so badly. Because I have worked so hard. If something in the cosmos causes a problem to occur that is out of my control that requires intervention and a second c/s, then it won't be because I haven't given it my everything and therefore I will be at peace.

Remember you can get lots and lots of support around here, but there is nothing like the support of a doula, for you and your DH. It is not fair to expect men to provide all of the moral support to a labouring woman. they don't do the kind of quiet confidence near as well as an experienced woman. They want to "fix" stuff and struggle to just hold your hand. Mind you they do it much better if they have a woman there who is calm for them and able to reassure them that what they are seeing is normal.

Anyway, good luck love. I wish you well in your journey. If you need further support just ask. If you want more advice, just ask. I have been preparing for my own vbac for the last 2.5 yrs and have read loads.

xx Bella

[Kmn]

I think it is important to remember that for most people a VBAC is a similar risk (or smaller risk even) than a repeat CS.
It's the obstetrician's job to identify those patients who have a higher risk and steer them in the repeat CS direction - your OB hasn't done this, which means that the risks for you at this stage are either similar or better with the VBAC.

All the best with the rest of your pregnancy and your birth.