hey,
just wanted some opinions on whether or not i have to invite the partners of the few girls from work that i want to invite to my wedding. we are having an informal wedding with more of a party vibe with a limited space for guests. i really want to invite some people from work but cant a) afford their partners and b) probably cant fit them in anyways. is that really bad ettiquite? will i end up offending some people?
You'll probably end up offending people, TBH.
But, it's your wedding!!
If they get offended it's their problem. I never worried about offending people when I got married in September. It was MY DAY and I invited who I wanted and did as I pleased.
It's YOUR DAY, honey. If you can't afford to have them there, don't invited them. If I was in your situation I wouldn't.
I think you will have to actually explain that partners are not invited, we invited someone to the wedding (without knowing she had a partner) and put only her name on the invite and she replied back saying that her (and her partners name) would love to come! I thought it was a bit of cheek personally - I think she should have called and we would (as we did) happily have had him, but my point is that people assume partners are invited.
I think generally speaking protocol is to invite partners, but as it's work mates (unless they are a bit precious!!) I think they would probably understand - as long as it is consistent with all partners not invited you should be fine.
If I were invited to a wedding of a work friend, I would not be offended if DH was not invited - although i would prefer to have him with me, it would also be fun to just have the work girls there to 'play' :-)
I found it difficult to decide who to invite and what to do with work friends - in the end I just invited two girls and their partners and then invited another two and their partners - on the B list - after some people couldn't come I apologised for the fact that they were invited 'later' - but they were still really happy to come along.
A few others came to watch the ceremony without their partners - and it was nice to have them - but as you say, it's hard to know who to invite, and worry about not offending people :-)
I was invited to a wedding of a uni mate a number of years ago and that invite didn't extend to my DH (boyfriend at the time) and unfortunately it did cause some short term offense for some people.
I realised that it was a difficult situation for the bride to be in as she was having a small wedding, had a limited space and if she invited all of her Uni friends (6 of us) as well as our partners, she would definitely be pushing out other family and friends - some of whom she had known for much longer and were likely to be a bigger part of her married life. Some of the partners were 'boyfriends', some long term defacto (10 years) but to be honest, she and her husband didn't really even know our partners as we were relatively *new* friends (3 years of study) and most of our relationship was centered around Uni.
For me, I thought it was lovely to be included in her special day and I completely understood why my partner was not invited. On the other hand, DH was a quite offended as were some of my other Uni friends and their partners. Dh got over it, has not held a grudge and has come to understand as did the others and there was no lasting offense as far as I know.
I think the only thing my girlfriend did wrong was to not explain the situation as she gave us the invitations. It led to more initial offense than was needed. Hopefully if you explain your situation to your workmates they will absolutely understand.
It was a lovely wedding, small, intimate and special and I had a ball celebrating it and hanging out with my Uni buddies without our partners to distract us!
I did that. I invited 4 or 5 people from work, but only invited the partners of 2 of them who I actually knew. Nobody had a problem with it. I don't think it is unreasonable, especially if you don't actually know the partners.
We both invited people from our work places and included partners as well.
Personally I would find it a bit weird to not have DH with me unless was our choice due to lack of babysitter. We have both been to weddings of each others friends whom other does not know.
My sister didn't. They just didn't have the space for the additional people nor the budget, so she sent out invites without partners and explained in person why
I invited work people but not partners. Only one questioned me and when I explained we just couldn't afford to accommodate everyone, she was fine with it. All the others were pleased to have a day out without their partners lol!
i think that is what i will do then. i will definately have a chat in person, to clarify and to explain. hopefully they will see it as a girls night out! :-)
BellyBelly Member
work invites to wedding
Reply With Quote
Bookmarks