I have 6 days left of being pregnant and I have noticed DD1 is acting very needy and whiny. She is 2.5yo. I am a SAHM and after DH gets hsi initial week and a half off to help with my c-section and new baby he is going back to work and it is just us 3. I really dont want DD1 to feel left out or unincluded. I feel almost guilty for having this baby.
Does anyone have any ideas of how I can make this easier on her...transitioning into sharing mommy? She speaks but not enough to fully communicate at this point..and really likes things a certain way.
hi there just been through this. Our kids are the same ages hehe. The first thing I did was when I had the baby and he came to visit in hospital he brought her a prezzie and the 'baby' bought him one also he really loved that I just bought one of those kzone magazines worked a treat because he was really busy with that for ages. I have tried to involve him wherever possible so i will say lets go give her a bath or pick some clothes out for bub, bub is crying go choose a toy to make her happy etc. When I have to sit down and feed bubs I tried having something new for him to play with like a puzzle or playdough or craft. At the moment though he wants to go potty everytime im halfway though think it his way of showing hes figured out what im trying to do lololol. I also been trying to get out to the park and make him tired so we can all have a midday sleep works a treat.
I have to tell you this is the exact thing i spent so much time worrying about and i learnt kids are so resilient and can take almost anything in stride, she will impress ypu
I had a lot of bookks to read to DD1 about babies and becoming a new big sister.DD1 was thrilled to have daddy home for the first few weeks that she didn't seem to care about mummy and baby but now she really seems to want to be with mummy .
I am yet to do it by myself , but have a baby carrier on loan as bubby doesn't settle for sleeps in a bed which will free my hands up a bit. Every opportunity I have to cuddle kiss or just touch DD1 I takeand constantly tell her how much I love her. When my hands are free i use them to tickle or play toys with DD1.
I don't know if I am doing it "right"but I also try not to scold DD1 when she gets rough with DD2, nor do I tell her off when she has ripper tanties, I try to work out if she is frustrated or whatever and let her know she is allowed to feel like that.
I'm nearly 7 weeks into this adventure now DS is going pretty well, he's a very gentle kid. He struggled more with me not being able to pick him up post c/s for a while than he did with the Mummy sharing. I must admit he's watched more TV in the last couple of weeks than I'd like (while feeding), but it helps my stress levels too. So far so good, I must admit. DH was off work for the first month which helped heaps. I try to get out of the house every day to the park, or the shops or something so he can work some energy off, and I really make the most of the time DD is asleep to spend some real quality one on one time with him.
On another note, he's just decided to dump the day sleep (coincidental) which has meant for a very tired toddler and some whopper evening tanties. We do it hour by hour, minute by minute some days, but we're getting through. You'll be fine Jess, just be very forgiving on yourself and do what it takes to get through.
Mrs, honestly I think the hardest bit is going to be giving your DD1 the time and energy whilst recovering from your c-section.
With DD1 I just made her into my little helper, she just loved doing anything to help her little sister. Yes, she had her jealous moments, especially when I couldnt get something done for her immediately like she was used to in the past. But I solved that by making sure I had food and drink available before I had to do anything with DD2.
Like WannabeMum, DD1 dropped her day sleep 2 days after DD2 was born which made things a lot harder, but thankfully DD2's feed times became really good rest times for DD1.
Dont feel guilty about bringing a new child into your family, but use it as a positive instead. Involve DD1 in as much as she wants to be involved with, use her interest to your advantage. I think as parents we tend to overthink everything, especially when it comes down to bringing another baby into the home. (I personally think bringing a new pet into the home is harder than a newborn sibling.)
Celebrate having another baby in your world, let your DD adjust at her own rate, and relax.
when DD2 was born DD1 was 26months. DD2 bought her a present that she got when we came home from hospital which was her own baby, a bed for baby, nappies, bottle dummy etc. She was more excited than anything at first and wanted to "help" with EVERYTHING so if i was doing something where her "help" would have been really a problem (ie. changing a poo-splosion) i'd tell her to do her baby.
It was after the first week and she realised DD2 was here to stay that she started getting a little bit whiny and needy. I went with Nae's approach of not scolding for being rough (unless it was excessive. She clawed DD2's face one day while i had my back turned for a few seconds. But i spoke calmly because i think yelling/punishing would just maake her resent bub more) and not making a huge deal when she had a tantrum.
I think the most important thing is to keep them included. When DD2 went down for naps we would play/read/bake or even just snuggle just do something special, just the 2 of you. It's hard at times but you get into the swing of things pretty quick. In saying that though i didn't have a c-section. Good luck, i'm sure you will be fine once bub's here
Very soon, she won't remember a time when she didn't have to share, and neither will you. I won't lie and say it's all going to be lovely, because my first 6ish weeks were a bit of a blur really, but she will get the hang of it.
My number one tip is be consistent. How you treat/discipline/scold, whatever word or descriptor you want to use, maintain it. Her world is changing, and you are it's axis, so while you can't physically do everything the same, the tones, the way you speak etc, is something you can. Being tired (ok so exhausted you want to vomit lol) makes it hard, but it does make it easier.
Have a special stash of both activities/toys and snacks for those times when you are feeding or settling or whatever.
Going to sound dumb but make sure the front door is locked. When you are tired and distracted it's easy to forget random things and I learned after I brought DS home that DD knew how to open it...not great timing lol.
Remember that like every phase and adjustment in a toddler's life it will pass. It's not personal.
Handling a NB with a 2yo??
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