Okay at the risk of sounding like an awful mother I am curious about what ages you let (or plan to) your children do the following
Walk to school alone or with friend/s (one block or less)
Walk to school alone or with friend/s (more than one block)
Catch public transport alone or with friend/s
Stay home alone, during the day
Stay home alone at night
Leave them to their own devices at home, while you sleep or whatever
With only a toddler and a newborn I'm not sure but am interested in any answers. I mentioned to my sister about my son hypothetically walking to school one day and she was horrified. I live in a pretty quiet area not far from his future school so I expect he'll be walking on his own or with neighbourhood kids one day.
Walk to school alone or with friend/s (one block or less) - i would do this now
Walk to school alone or with friend/s (more than one block) - this is a hard one as a 13 year old local girl was abducted last year while walking to school. Her body has never been found I would like to say 12 if in a group.
Catch public transport alone or with friend/s - 13 or so (depending on where they are going, etc)
Stay home alone, during the day - 12 or so
Stay home alone at night - 15 or so
Leave them to their own devices at home, while you sleep or whatever - I started doing this when DD was four or five.
Last edited by nothing2lose; January 15th, 2012 at 01:37 PM.
: Changed mind ;)
It would depend on circumstances for me. The neighborhood you live in, for example. At the moment, we live near a super busy road, with no crossing or pedestrian lights. So that would make me really uncomfortable with letting DD go on her own during primary school years.
I was only ever allowed to catch the school bus (specifically for our school) and walk home from the bus stop once I hit high school. I wasn't allowed to stay home alone when we lived in the burbs but we moved to acreage when I was 12 and we were allowed to stay home during the day alone there, provided the lady on the next property was home. I was a lot older before we were allowed to stay at night. I guess it's knowing when your kids are ready and responsible rather than an age ITMS.
At 12 I was catching the train 2 stops to school, and walkin to n from the station with the heard of other kids. Mum didn't let us stay home alone till quite late as she didn't want me to have to be responsible for my sister who was six years younger.
I will answer for the ages my DS1 & DD1 did these at.
Walk to school alone or with friend/s (one block or less) - We lived out of area for my kids school, so they walked to the shop which was a block away. Started to do this alone around age 9.
Walk to school alone or with friend/s (more than one block) - Walking to the shop further away - Only ever together and they were 9 & 12.
Catch public transport alone or with friend/s - 14
Stay home alone, during the day - 13, but when I was working and there was a gap of 1.5hrs between them arriving home from school & DH arriving home from work, they were 9 & 12 and our neighbour would check on them for us.
Stay home alone at night - 16.
Leave them to their own devices at home, while you sleep or whatever - DS2 kinda does this now and he is almost 5. I am able to trust him to not go out of the areas I allow him to be in when I am resting with the girls.
I wouldnt let me kids do any of these things by themselves and only in a group when they are teenages
mind you i use to walk to school by myself, come home to an empty house and stay there looking after my younger sister from when i was 9 years old
I also use to catch public transport to school which was a bus and a tram (90 mins away) when i was 12.
I used to walk to the shops etc which was 15 mins walk across a big main road from when i was 7 years old
I used to catch the school bus all the way through primary school, but I had my older brothers with me (until yr 7 when they finished high school)
Used to ride my bike to school by myself once I hit 13/14 (and even then my Mum didn't like it, and she usually got me to ride home with her... until I got too impatient waiting at the top of the hills)
My parents never left us home alone during the night time, but we usually were left to our own devices after catching the bus home, til they got home from work so for another 2 hours or so.
We lived out of town, so walking to the shops or school wasn't on the agenda. And my mum still freaks out about me walking around town at night time (and I am married and have a bubs of my own on the way) so I try not to tell her what I get up to in the evenings :-P
So right now, Liebs is nearly 5. At the weekend, he gets up, checks I don't want to get up, then has 2 hours of doing what he wants (usually computer games) before I wake up and get up. Everything else on your list, he isn't doing yet.
1. Probably in grade 5 or 6, depending on the child.
2. Year 7, again depending on the child and how far the walk would be.
3. I think I could catch public transport with friends when I was about in year 8, so 13?? By myself was not until I was about 15. That was for social reasons, no to and from school. If it was for school then would depend how far school was away and the child. We caught the bus to and from school from 5 yo but the bus was a school specific his and stopped right out the front of our house
4. Hmm.... Probably high school age
5. Probably 16 or older.
6. DD is 4.5 and she usually does her own thing at home and comes get me to play or read etc... I have had day naps on the couch from when DD was about 3 whilst she was watching a DVD
As some pp have said, it would depend on a few things for me, maturity and personality of the individual child as well as where we live, the type of area we live.
I also can't really comment ofor my own kids yet, since they're only 4,3 and 1. But I will answer for myself when I was young.
Walk to school alone or with friend/s (one block or less) I think I was about 8 and it was with friends, if I had stayed with friends.
Walk to school alone or with friend/s (more than one block) 11, alone. I walked a 20min walk to and from school everyday.
Catch public transport alone or with friend/s. We moved when I was 13, so I started catching the bus alone to school then, but I assume mum would have let me do it younger than that had I needed to. About the same age, I was allowed to catch the train into the city with friends only, when I was about 15ish, I was allowed to do it alone.
Stay home alone, during the day About 10. I remember being sick (obviously not REALLY sick, I guess!!!) and mum let me stay home alone, but told both next door neighbours I was home, and they both came to look in on my.
Stay home alone at night I don't know if I was ever left home alone at night. I think there was always someone there! Though only by circumstance, I think mum would have left me alone at around 16 if she had to, but she never really went anywhere at night.
Leave them to their own devices at home, while you sleep or whatever I was probably about 7 or 8, and mum would leave me to do whatever when she got home from work, and go and have a shower and a sleep of an afternoon.
In saying all of that, I was pretty much a goody two shoes, lol. I never got into trouble and was (am!) very trustworthy and honest.
Walk to school alone or with friend/s (one block or less)
Walk to school alone or with friend/s (more than one block)
Catch public transport alone or with friend/s
DS1 started catching the bus to and from school in year 6 (he was 10 turning 11). In the mornings he would walk with my next door neighbour and her son to the bus stop (at the end of the street) and in the afternoon the teachers waited with the kids to put them on the busses (he walked home with the neighbours)
Stay home alone, during the day
Due to our circumstances DS1 was at home in the afternoons by himself. My work was literally a 7 minute drive away. He had to call me when he got in and I spoke to him as he locked the door. He was on his own for 2 hours each afternoon and 25 minutes each morning. We were living in Central West NSW.
Stay home alone at night
DS1 was 14 when he caught a cab home from the hospital when I was admitted (pregnant) while DH was away. The lovely nurses waited with him downstairs at the taxi rank and he called me the minute he got in. It was nearly midnight by time he got home and I was beside myself. I told him to let the dog sleep inside (we have a bullmastiff!). Last year he babysat DS2 while DH and I went out.
Leave them to their own devices at home, while you sleep or whatever
He's nearly 17 now and I can quite honestly say that I would be comfortable leaving him at home to his own devices while we weren't there - a weekend is probably long enough. Actually, we've been comfortable leaving him to his own devices for quite some time (actually since he caught a cab home from the hospital). He's very sensible, even tempered and has loads of common sense (goodness, sounds like I'm selling you a horse!)
In so far as leaving him to his own devices while I sleep or whatever..... we'll he knew how to operate the television and VCR when he was 2 & half!! I often woke up to the Lion King or Bananas in Pyjamas. Ah, what a wonderful day it was that he discovered he could get his own weetbix!
I think it depends on the child and, where you live. I see little ones on their scooters going to school in the morning and it just sends shivers up my spine. Okay, there's always the risk of some weirdo lurking about, which scares the bejesus out of me, but some of these kids just don't seem to have an awareness of what's going on around them which is equally scary when you consider how much of a hurry everyone seems to be in at that time of the morning.
Last edited by Cass72; January 16th, 2012 at 08:39 AM.
No idea - in each case it depends on when I think they are mature enough to cope. Since different children mature at different times I'm not prepared to take a guess on when mine will be old enough. It also depends on where we are - walking to school in a small town or close-knit community on quiet streets is not the same as walking by a busy road or in a rough neighbourhood.
At the moment my children are playing unsupervised but the second they go quiet or start making excessive noises I will check on them - is that being left to their own devices?
I already do the last one - letting them do whatever while I sleep. I wouldn't say its sleep, but I certainly doze off on the couch. Will also go and have a shower etc. I do have the added bonus though that DH works from home so while they're not supervised, there are still two adults who could respond to anything that comes up, crying, fights etc.
As for the other things, probably never!!! With two girls and another on the way I am already (only half) joking that we are going to move somewhere remote where the girls need to use school of the air, and they will hopefully be as horse-crazy as I was and take no interest in doing or going anywhere else. My DH has said he is going to build a rocking chair for the porch, take up banjo lessons and buy a shotgun - so I don't see them going too far too soon by themselves while he's around
The crazy thing is that my mum was a full time working single mother and so from me being about 6 my brother (two years older) and I got ourselves home from school, dinner started etc. School holidays we spent at home alone probably by the time I was about 8 and he 10. Talking to her about it now I know she wasn't happy about it, but back then there were very limited resources and she had no family back up. Certainly by early teens we were catching buses with friends during the day time at least into the city. I don't believe that crime has increased and that there is any greater risk to children playing outside today than there was when I was a kid - just that now that I'm a mother and they're MY kids my comfort level with having them being "out there" is not as good as I thought it would be.
i'll answer for what i was allowed, and what i would consider for DD, given where we live at the moment
Walk to school alone or with friend/s (one block or less) - i was only a couple of weeks into primary school, so still four!! but mum could see us from the house, to the bottom of the hill, and from the bottom of the hill, her bestie was there (school crossing supervisor) so even though i felt all grown up, walking to school with my bro without my folks, i was still being watched lol
with DD, given where we live at the moment, if she goes to the local school, i'd say grade four or five (major roads to cross so it would depend on her maturity i guess), if she goes to the private school we're considering, never, cos she'll need to be driven there
Walk to school alone or with friend/s (more than one block) i was grade 1 when we left, and walked to school on my own then. it wasn't that far, and no major roads. i was walking to the shops alone about the same time
Catch public transport alone or with friend/s - i didn't need to do this til year 11 (small town) - it would depend on why she needed to do it - for school, probably late primary school. just cos she wanted to go somewhere, much older
Stay home alone, during the day - i was about 10 i think. i was babysitting others by the time i was 12. will depend on her maturity
Stay home alone at night - don't know - will depend on her age. i was maybe 14 when i was looking after other peoples kids at night, so must have been 12 or 13 when my folks left me alone.
Leave them to their own devices at home, while you sleep or whatever - whenever i can trust her. most days thats now - tonight, i don't tend to think like that - she's being a right brat!
Walk to school alone or with friend/s (one block or less)
I would let DS1 do this now, and DS2 if DS1 was with him
Walk to school alone or with friend/s (more than one block)
Probably 8 if it was only a couple of blocks. As it is, walking to school would involve crossing a very busy, main road so I have no intention of letting them do it until they are probably 10 or so.
Catch public transport alone or with friend/s
Once they are in high school
Stay home alone, during the day
I would do this now with DS1 TBH if I was just nipping out to the shops. For any longer, probably 8 or 9.
Stay home alone at night
Pretty much wouldn't let them do this, because once they are old enough the risk of a party is too high. At a push I would say 15. I am assuming you might all night though, if it was just for a few hours then probably high school, but they would all have to be in high school first.
Leave them to their own devices at home, while you sleep or whatever
Now, my kids let me lie on whilst DH is at work. They get their own breakfasts and get dressed and sometimes I get to sleep until after 9 (they get up at 7, DH leaves for work at 7.30).
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How old?
I am curious about what ages you let (or plan to) your children do the following
but am interested in any answers. I mentioned to my sister about my son hypothetically walking to school one day and she was horrified. I live in a pretty quiet area not far from his future school so I expect he'll be walking on his own or with neighbourhood kids one day.
I would like to say 12 if in a group.
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