20 m.o sudden cot refusal and #2 due in 4 weeks.....HELP!!!

[Taurean78]

I am after some advice regarding my 20 m.o. DS who started refusing both day and night sleeps in his cot approx 5 days ago.
He screams as though Jack the Ripper is in there with him and we have tried music and night lights, all to no avail. He has screamed for up to 2 hrs at a time on some occassions (with DH and I doing walk ins and comforting and reassuring him verbally every 10 mins or so - he screams louder). We also have tried doing it from the door. I have also taken a chair in to sit with him and he is already hysterical by the time we are nearing the cot.
He has been a brilliant sleeper from a young age. He always goes down happily and without a fuss after a predictable routine that consists of dinner, bath, quiet time, bottle, cuddles and story. He sleeps with a dummy but this hasn't been a problem as he spits it after 5 mins and can always find it. He also has a comforter, "bear", which he is very attached to and carries everywhere lately.
I am having #2 in just under 4 weeks and he has been particularly clingy lately, esp when I take him to Family daycare where he clings to me like a koala (no crying) but then plays happily and has a great day.
So to my way of thinking, there are a few things going on for him - he can sense something is going on with me as I can't pick him up as much and I am massive!, he is going through some major developmental leaps where he is showing increasing desires for independence in dressing himself, putting shoes on etc, he has also started hitting me alot and now has started it with DS. We handle this by showing gentle hands, saying it makes mummy sad etc and sometimes sitting him down for 30 seconds if it's been really bad.
Last night DH put him down on single bed and he went straight to sleep. He then transferred to cot where he slept for 3.5 hrs before screaming and I relented and brought him in with me so now I am wondering if it is as straightforward as he is suddenly feeling trapped/claustrophobic in his cot. Has this happened to anyone else? I am obviously v keen to get this sorted before #2 comes along! (I can only hope).
Thanks for reading!

[Olive]

Can he just sleep all night in the single bed?? Seems like that is the solution

[HotI]

i could have written most of your post a few weeks ago, clinginess, hitting, delay in sleeping. I think it is a combination of the age, and your little one recognising that things are changing. If the single bed works, go for it! We moved dd into a king single bed with a guard a few months back.

[Daytona's Mummy]

My dd1 did exactly this a year ago ( but she was only 1 so single bed was out for us!) I had to put her in a toddler bed just to get her to sleep. She has been fine ever since.

[Charlotte91]

Just subbing...
DD will be 19 months when Beez is born and we're keen to have her in a king single bed by then.

[Taurean78]

Thanks guys. Hopefully it is as easy as transferring to single bed.I had just bought a bassinette for #2 as after polling many, many mothers, the general advice was that if DS was sleeping well in his cot (which he was at the time!), then leave him there. If it ain't broke, don't fix it! He was doing between 2-3 hrs for day sleep and 10-11 for night and I had heard way too many horror stories about toddler dropping daytime sleeps altogether once moved to a bed. Given that we have only just on the past month moved from 2 to 1 day sleep, I thought it was too early. And of course the selfish side of me having a c/s and newborn to handle in a new town with no help (we only moved 3.5 months back). Anyway, will try the single bed today and will be sure to report back!

[YoYo]

My 20 month old is so clingy at the moment I think she wants back in to my uterus! There is not a moment of late where I can not be attached to her in some way. It's very draining.

I co sleep with her, but she wakes often I think to check im there. If I have to tend to DS, heaven help if she notices.

I'm just hoping its one of those 'this too shall pass' moments. Hope it is for you too


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[Jill]

I was beginning to wonder if it was just my DD. My 16month old DD has been so clingy especially at night. She sleeps ok in her cot during the day time but at night, she absolutely refuses it. She cries like somebody is hitting the life out of her, breaks my heart. It takes me more than an hour to get her to sleep. Two nights in a row I had to settle her down in our bed before transferring her to her cot when she was fast asleep. She woke up once, cried and again I had to re settle her in our bed before moving her back to her cot and then she slept right thru. I'm really hoping it's just a phase or maybe because her molars are coming out? Her eye teeth were thru several weeks ago and just yesterday I felt one molar and she has been pushing her fingers right in until she gags! Anyway it's quite comforting to read and share this thread with you ladies.