Would you invite her?

[beansbeans!]

Im in need of some advice, help, opinion, in regards to a particular situation, please.

Im going to be having a 'girls night in' in a few weeks time.

I have my invite list done, but I am stuck on one particular person..

Im part of a small group of friends (5 of us), we do most things together.
This person has gone weird ever to me evers since april last year, and each time I see her she gets colder and colder towards me.
I have always being polite to this woman, I have always said hello, engaged in weather talk etc. Our two eldest are the same age and they play together whenever they see each other (they are pretty good friends really, or were).
First I noticed was she invited the others to her sons birthday, but not my DD1. Apparently that was a boys only party, even though one other mum in our group was invited and she has a DD the same age.
From then onwards, she wont turn up to events if I am going, if she does go to an event then she refuses to acknowledge me. She wont say hello, she will leave the conversation if I enter, she's just plain cold towards me.
But (of course) shes a friend on facebook (darn facebook), and will always comment nicely to my posts, post things for me that I may like etc... (feels like its more of a show than anything else)
I knew about mmy surprise baby shower for a while, she cancelled a fortnight beforehand, giving no reason for why she couldnt come, then when I thanked my friends, she commented that she couldnt come because she was sick. She doesnt know that I saw her looking rather healthy, shopping after the baby shower was over. I cant stand liars, according to everyone else, she said she was never sick.

So I get that she doesnt like me in real life. I get that she doesnt want to be in the same room as me etc.. But should I invite her?

Im in two minds over it. One side says invite her, so not to cause other issues, be the bigger person and its her problem if she doesnt want to come. But then the other side says why have someone in your home, who obviously does not like you or have respect for you..

Whats the right thing to do? Would you invite her?

[Kazzo]

I would not. If I was having something at my home and someone who I was always nice to and had not done anything wrong by has a problem with me but wont talk to me about it is not coming into my home.

I would either ask to meet up with her or call her and ask her why she has gone cold and if she wants to talk and you can sort things out then yes. If not then don't worry about her. Your having a nice night at your place and you don't want to spend the night concerned about her.

[toomanyshoes]

Fill your life with people who lift you up and make you happy, not those that drag you down and cause unnecessary stress.

If she was a close friend I would jut ask her whats going on and make my decision based on that.

[Trillian]

I woudln't bother. She's made it pretty clear she doesn't want to socialise with you any other time, and this is your night out, so I'd not bother.

[LuluHB]

Nope. You should feel relaxed and happy when getting together with your girlfriends, especially in your own home. THe last thing you want is someone who doesn't want to engage on the same level.

[LionsandBears]

Nup

I'd delete her from FB too. Life's too short to have to put up with this sort of nonsense. Unless you want to ask her what her problem is. Otherwise, what toomanyshoes said.

[diannescruffy]

I wouldn't invite her either, especially as the friendship isn't working both ways anymore.

Regards,
Dianne

[Joeve]

Don't invite her if she is not being nice to you which it sounds like she isn't.

Now I may have my ttc hat here but could she be staying away because you were preg? Maybe she was trying or something? No excuse at all but it sounds like some behavior that I have heard of and some I can relate to. Again no excuse just a thought.

[Aussiegirl777]

Any idea why she has gone cold? Can you ask around in your group of friends to see it you can find out what it may be? If it's nothing other than a personality clash and if you have always done things as a group of 5, I think I would invite her - it's up to her to make her excuses if she doesn't want to be a part of your event. If she does attend then there are 5 of you and that means plenty of different people to talk to and things should pretty amicable.

[Miss.B]

I don't know if I can give you any advice, but I don't speak to my brother and SIL but their son and my son share a b'day. I've decided to invite only my nephew to our DS's party, but will extent the invite to my brother as well since it was mostly my SIL that I fell out with. I simply don't want her to come to my DS's b'day and spoil our day. If we get an invite to our nephew's b'day party, we've decided my DF will go with our DS.

[LizLemon]

Fill your life with people who lift you up and make you happy, not those that drag you down and cause unnecessary stress.

That is such good advice. An acquaintance (who was actually an arrogant a**e) told me that once and I've tried following it ever since.

And I would also straight out ask her what's going on and if you don't get a good enough answer cut her.

[Queen]

I would not invite her either, not to be nasty but obviously she has some issues and you want your party to be fun.
If anyone says anything tell them some of what you told us. You are not choosing not to invite her, SHE made the choice to be cold/rude to you, you are obviously to awesome to be in her company



From Queens IPhonio

[Muraho]

Fill your life with people who lift you up and make you happy, not those that drag you down and cause unnecessary stress.

If she was a close friend I would jut ask her whats going on and make my decision based on that.

This is what I was going to say too. Fill your life and house with those you care about & care about you!

[Purple Penguin]

No, I wouldn't.

[beansbeans!]

Thanks ladies

We were never close friends. I've always being polite to her what not. But never really considered her to be a close friend.

I honestly cannot be bothered with confronting her and asking about it. No one else has noticed it but I have talked to the others about her.

toomanyshoes; I love that advice, I think I might put that up somewhere.

Lionsandbears; I want to delete her from fb, just not sure if I want the issues Im sure it will cause. Its a bit of a catch 22.

Joeve; She had just had a bub when we found out about DD3. But I do know she is jealous of a friendship I have with another friend. She openly stated that she was looking for a bff, and thought this friend would be perfect in that role, but then got upset about my friendship with the same friend. But surely that cant be the whole reason??

I suppose I just dont want to make issues, or cause issues with anyone. I just want a hassle free year, I deserve it. Its just a double edged sword either way I look at it. But I am thinking of not inviting her. At least I would be hassle free

Thank you all for advice, you have definately helped me make my decision