What Rules Did You Make Then Break?

[Little Chicken]

I read this on a parenting website today and found it amusing . It, of course it got me thinking about what rules I decided on before I got pregnant and that I immediately broke after birth.

My child was going o sleep in its own room from day one. She didn't sleep there until at least 8 months, not even during the day. My youngest is only just sleeping in her room.

So what rules did you make and then break?

Before I gave birth to my first baby ten weeks ago, I was completely delusional about motherhood. I was confident (no actually make that ****y) that being a mum was going to be a breeze. Haven’t you seen the Bonds ads? All babies do is smile and be all cute and stuff. A little bundle of perfectness was exactly what I was planning on giving birth to. *Drunk with confidence, I made some firm rules with my boyfriend (yes we have an illegitimate child living in our sinful home) on what we would, and would not do, when our first-born arrived. *There was no doubt if we followed these rules we would easily nail the parenting of our angelic child.

Fast forward two and a half months and reality has hit in the form of a baby boy. I will now admit the rules we set were a teeny bit ludicrous. *No, actually make that insane! Below are the rules, and exactly how successful I have been so far.

Rule One: No Bottles
How long it lasted: 8 hours (the moment my newborn was squawking for his second milk guzzle)

I’ll admit I was a bit of a ‘Bottle-Feeding Judgy Pants’ who had no idea how bloody hard breast-feeding could be. With the saying “Breast is Best” drilled into my head, I was determined to be a mum that would only breast-feed her kid. This is because I was terrified by stories about breastfeeding mothers who used a bottle once, and their little cherub refused to suckle their milk cans ever again. So the rule was made, “NO BOTTLES!”

I had barely left the delivery room when the thought of whacking my newborn onto my breast ever again made me shudder. *After the first feed, my nipples resembled a clown’s nose. Needless to say the bottle became my saviour. I have managed to slowly get him back on the boob, but there are still times when my son is hitting the bottle harder than Lindsay Lohan.

Rule Two: No Dummies
How long it lasted: 19 hours (approximately the time sleep deprivation kicked in)

When I was pregnant, I believed my love alone would be enough to sooth my baby if he became unsettled. Sleep deprivation was not going to be apart of my life because my baby would be a self-settler, and be out cold for 10 hours a night. *‘Props’ like dummies would not enter our house because they would simply not be needed. FAIL. Miserable fail.

At 4am on night two of being a mum, I instructed my boyfriend to walk to the servo to buy as many dummies as he could get his mitts on. You see, dummies = bliss. I don’t care if my kid sucks his dummy until he is old enough to grow a beard, that thing is a lifesaver. *It’s like my child has had a mute button installed on his face

Rule Three: No TV
How long it lasted: 4 days…the second we got home from hospital

I admire those parents who read, sing, talk and ride miniature ponies with their children. I was going to be the queen of crafts, cooking and just general awesomeness with my child. I made the rule “no television when baby’s awake”. There just wouldn’t be any time, with all the papier-mâché and finger puppet concerts. Yes, I can now acknowledge these are the thoughts of an insane woman.

It’s fair to say that Larry Emdur plays a big role in my son’s life. Larry allows me to do all the fun tasks, like make my bed, skull a coffee, or have a 30 second shower. *I have fully embraced ‘TV plonking’ as a credible parenting technique. Larry is a real person so it’s not like I’m depriving my child of human interaction. *Plus he’s going to grow up knowing all the best deals on vacuum cleaners, and how to operate tongs that curl and straighten his locks. *Having Larry babysit my child for a little while each day keeps me sane…and showered.

[FabFiona]

No babies in my bed. Lol. DS1 was in with us most nights from 3 months until around 15 months. It was the only way I got any sleep!

[sushee]

My eldest is now 22yo and I was a very young mum who didn't really make rules for myself, because, really, I didn't really know what the social 'norms' where wrt to parenting. I just did whatever felt right (and that included bfing, co-sleeping, baby-wearing, but didn't realise they were gentle parenting methods then!). And as time went on, and I had other kids, the experience I had with my first taught me that making hard and fast rules were often a bad idea. But there were a few 'wishlist' things that i wanted for my kids:

Cloth nappies: yes, I bought some when Charlie was born. But I got lazy, and my empathy for the environment, and my passion for cute bums went the way of my feelings for laundry in general - it died a quick death.

Reading to my son every night: My XH did that in the end, and still does. When he's with mummy though, he has a choice - either you get to sleep in my bed, or I read you a story and you sleep in your own bed. He choses my bed every time.

Putting him in baby swimming/doing all these wonderful 'bonding' things together as mummy and baby: I didn't do this with my older kids due to lack of disposable income, but wanted to with my youngest. But he woke every two hours until he was 11 months old. I eventually was just happy not to keel over from sleep deprivation.

Attending school stuff/enrolling him in organised sport: When I went back to work, being there for him at school stuff was an exercise in futility. And turns out, I'm a really crap soccer mum.

No video games: except, when I'm cooking/cleaning/working/socialising/on the net/showering/resting, it's the perfect babysitter. And in the case of my older kids, the perfect way to stop them being sullen teenagers that drive me crazy. I try to regulate it, but don't always succeed.

I am more accepting of my shortfalls now when it comes to individual 'wishlist' items like this now. I'm more hard on myself about the parenting ideals that make a long term difference, such as being consistent, showing them I love them even if I don't always like what they do, being a good example and teaching them other good life lessons. One of those lessons, btw, is that I'm not perfect, but they don't have to be too to be awesome!

[MissEm]

I can't say I had any rules or expectations. I kind of went in blind and worked it out as I went along.

[nothing2lose]

No pink.

Lasted about three seconds

[Kazzo]

Not so much a rule but more what I thought I would do was once my baby was 6 weeks old she would be moved from the bassinet in our room into her own bed. I am a really light sleeper and I figured I would get more sleep if I did not have my baby right next to me as I would stir at every sound. DD1 was born and when she got home I knew there was no way she was going anywhere at 6 weeks. She slept in the bassinet until she was 6 months and DD2 stayed in our room until she was 10months.

Maybe BF might have been a rule. I thought 6 months then solids. DD1 self weaned at 9 months and DD2 started dropping feeds at 10 months and stopped at 14 months and I would never have stopped then at 6 months.

[sloane]

cloth nappies - i bought lots for DS when i was PG & fully intended to use them (i washed them all in preparation etc). then we were given sposies for a NB...then DP's dad bought us sposies till DS turned 2. i used a cloth nappy once i was so disappointed in myself for not just telling people to not buy the sposies.

food - DS eats pretty well but when i was PG i would look at people in food courts feeding toddlers fast food & i'd say to DP 'we are NEVER doing that'. DS has had fast food occasionally & i even caught myself saying 'look, how cute - he loves chips'

BLS - i was ONLY going to do BLS. in the end DS had a mixture of BLS & some spoon feeding. this one doesn't bother me much & just reiterates to me that there shouldn't be too many 'rules' when it comes to babies.

luckily i never cared about where DS would sleep etc because he slept no longer than 2 hours at a time until he was about 2

[Manhattan]

cloth nappies - i bought lots for DS when i was PG & fully intended to use them (i washed them all in preparation etc). then we were given sposies for a NB...then DP's dad bought us sposies till DS turned 2. i used a cloth nappy once i was so disappointed in myself for not just telling people to not buy the sposies.

Sounds just like me, except the cloth didn't touch DD's butt even once

Other than that I dont think I made any rules, I just went in blind and did whatever worked and tried not to feel too guilty about it.

[e_p]

I didn't make any rules...or read any parenting books, which I think helps with not building too many expectations. I knew I wanted to breastfeed, to co-sleep and generally be present and responsive to my baby. I didn't like the idea of a dummy, because I see others use them as a way to 'shut up' their babies rather than responding to their needs...I wasn't totally against them, but wanted to avoid them. We ended up giving DS a dummy at 7wks after a couple of days of being really unsettled and nothing was working - it helped a lot but we're still careful to not give it to him all the time. I still don't like that he has it because I can't see his beautiful face, but it helps him settle and that's a good thing

Also, I had planned to babywear a bit more than we have but my back has been pretty bad (old injury) and the thought of wearing him out and about while carrying a nappy bag makes me cringe so his beautiful bright green pram is getting plenty of use

[Jakabella]

All. Of. Them.

[Rouge]

No Pink. That's pretty much about it.

I never had any other rules. Luckily I got to practice being a mother to my niece so I knew what to expect and not to expect. And I also watched SIL break a lot of her own rules...

[nothing2lose]

It's hard when your DD is a curly haired blond with giant blue eyes. All anyone buys you is pink!!!!!!

[Tinks]

I've broken all my rules!

[Emma-Lou]

No dummies during the day. Lasted about 2 days before I cracked.

I had also planned on using cloth nappies. Didn't even get a look in.

[AngelPants]

umm, i think all of mine!! mainly the dummy tho, DS is in love with it

[Calluna]

No licensed products. (Disney shirts, etc)

Isaac has 1 Thomas shirt, 2 Elmo shirts, 3 Cars bowls, 5! Cars cups, 1 Cars plate, 3 Cars lego sets, 10 Thomas trains....

Epic fail.

[Calluna]

No licensed products. (Disney shirts, etc)

Isaac has 1 Thomas shirt, 2 Elmo shirts, 3 Cars bowls, 5! Cars cups, 1 Cars plate, 3 Cars lego sets, 10 Thomas trains....

Epic fail.

[TeniBear]

I don't think I had many rules as such. More "I hope I don't do this..." kind of thing. Pretty much everything said above was one.

I don't use a dummy regularly, but Amelia likes chewing and playing with them.

I dress her in pink a lot, but only because she looks good in pink and it's hard finding pretty girls' clothes with no pink. She looks awesome in red too, and I love her in blue

I planned to babywear every time we went out, but sometimes I prefer the pram or strollers. So does Amelia.

I have a pretty large stash of cloth nappies, thankfully I bought them second-hand, because the majority have never touched her bum. I've used a few when I felt like putting cloth on. The other day she had cloth on only because my cousin's daughter is doing a childcare course and wanted to practice folding flats.

No OTC medicine unless necessary? Broke that within a month when I thought she had reflux and gave her a little infacol.

One important (to me) rule was no bottles/formula, and I came so close to breaking it early on. I had been going through some pretty bad pain trying to get breastfeeding going, and one night was almost out the door to the 24 hour chemist. DH, bless him, actually had had something sink into his head all the times I drilled into him not to let me do that, so he talked me out of it

I'm also planning on refusing her chickenpox vaccination. Considering the fuss I DIDN'T make when the hospital gave her the Hep B one against my wishes, I wonder how I'll go keeping that rule...