What do I tell him?

[Now we're 3]

My Dad is sick and I am having to fly back to Ireland this weekend for a week to try and find out how bad things are really are and work out a plan for when things deteriorate. I am going back on my own leaving DS who is 2.5 here with his Dad. Taking him wasn't an option as I would have had to cope with his jetlag and I would got nothing done as I'd need to entertain him and look after him while I really need to see doctors etc. Leaving him is breaking my heart but I know it is the right thing to do. Luckily DH is has always been a very hands on Dad so while the week and a bit will be trying for him I know he can do it.

My question is what or how do I tell DS tomorrow that Mummy isn't going to be there for a while. We will be able to skype so it is not like he won't see me but what if anything should i say?

Any advice really gratefully received especially if anyone has had to do the same thing themselves. I am a total sook and don't know which is making me sicker the thought of leaving him or what I will have to face and work though in the next week.

Thanks

[Ambersky]

I would be fairly honest at a level he can understand.. Mummy is going on an aeroplane for a long visit but will be home in .... sleeps. Maybe make a simple chart with box for each day for the fridge so he and Daddy can tick off each day till you are home. so the emphasis is on when you are back rather than you are gone IYKWIM.

[AnyDream]

Mummy's going to visit Grandpa who's a long way away in a big airplane, so you won't see me for a little while. Daddy will be here and he will look after you/read your stories/kiss you goodnight every night (or whatever usual routine is) while mummy is away. But after THIS MANY (hold up fingers) sleeps, mummy will be coming back and I will be here again. If you miss mummy while I'm not here you can get a big cuddle from Daddy/Aunty X(whoever he sees on a daily basis) and I will ring you up/see you on the computer every day until I get home again.

[MummyNaomi]

Mummy's going to visit Grandpa who's a long way away in a big airplane, so you won't see me for a little while. Daddy will be here and he will look after you/read your stories/kiss you goodnight every night (or whatever usual routine is) while mummy is away. But after THIS MANY (hold up fingers) sleeps, mummy will be coming back and I will be here again. If you miss mummy while I'm not here you can get a big cuddle from Daddy/Aunty X(whoever he sees on a daily basis) and I will ring you up/see you on the computer every day until I get home again.

[LuluHB]

My DH went away last year for 7 weeks and we told the girls where Daddy was going and looked on maps etc to show them where - travel agents are fantastic with great big world maps on their walls. The hugeness helped the girls understand why Daddy couldn't come home each day, why we couldn't visit him etc. Explained to them that we would talk to Daddy every day on skype etc.

They were pretty upset the day he left so we came straight home and made a chart to put on the fridge that showed all the days he was gone. On each day we wrote what we were doing, and I tried to fill the weekends with different, interesting stuff. Each morning they crossed another day off the chart and that really helped them.

I hope you can sort out some things for your dad while you're away.

[Kazzo]

Honesty is the best way. DH goes away for a month 3 times a year and I always tell the girls exactly what is happening. We do the calender marking like Ambersky suggested and DD1 has a big photo of daddy that she kisses and can carry around as much as she wants. DD2 will get one soon too.
Sorry your father is not well.

[myturn]

I would be fairly honest at a level he can understand.. Mummy is going on an aeroplane for a long visit but will be home in .... sleeps. Maybe make a simple chart with box for each day for the fridge so he and Daddy can tick off each day till you are home. so the emphasis is on when you are back rather than you are gone IYKWIM.

Great idea!!! I'd do that too!!! Keep the explanation as simple as possible. Look after yourself as well. It's hard work when parents are unwell xxx

[kimmi]

I'm not a mum, so any advice I'd try to give just wouldn't cut it.. But I'm so sorry for what you are going through and having to leave your little one on top of that xo

[AnyDream]

And give him a laminated photo of you that he can carry around/take to bed/whatever.

[Doing my best]

First of all, hope you get some good news on your dad when you get there!

My DH had to go to NZ a few weeks back for his sick dad. We have a 4 yr old and a 2.5 yr old. We told them both the same..

Grandad is in hospital and is really sick. Daddy is going to have to go on a big plane to be with him and won't be home for a long while (otherwise they would've thought tomorrow). But you can call Daddy whenever you like, and Mummy will be here..

My 2.5yr old started getting a bit upset after 2 days when he couldn't find DH anywhere, even checking the bed (DH works shifts and often sleeping in the day. DS is happy to see him and then leave again).. We called twice a day on skype so they could talk and I had no issues answering the question 'where is Daddy' every time he asked, and it was heaps, LOL..

[sangie]

Oh no I'm so sorry to hear that hun xo

I would be honest with him. As you know my DH travels a lot and we always tell our littlies exactly where he is going and for how long. A chart works really well and both my two love crossing off the days before bed and counting down until daddy gets home. A really sweet idea is to give him something special to remind him of you. DH gives our kids a little red felt heart to keep when he goes away and they keep it in their rooms to remind them that even though daddy isn't here he is thinking of them and misses them too.
Have a safe trip xo

[Now we're 3]

Thanks girls you've given us some really good ideas here to work with.

We have done the chart to count down the days and explained to him about how I'd gone on a plane so see Granddad who is sick and he seemed to get it. He was fine at the airport and while a bit sad saying Mummy not here Daddy over the weekend was relatively okay. However lost the plot when we skyped this evening. Kept crying and saying he wanted to get in (to the computer) to see Mummy. Poor little poppet cried so much he made himself sick. Breaks my heart to think of him being so upset . Hopefully it will be a bit better tomorrow. probably not helping that he is feeling off as he has a cold. If he gets really upset again will revisit the skype idea.

Thanks again to everyone Xx