Should I be worried?

[appletree]

Dd has always been very sociable and had no problem making friends in the past,but she seems to be really struggling at kindergarten.

She is desperate to be friends with a little girl who is constantly mean to her, the 'friend' will only play with her at before and after school (2 days per week), but during the day she and another little girl just run away from her. Sometimes they are friends with her and then they tell her that they 'give up' and then start running off. She says she then will go and ask other kids to play but they always say no as they already have a special buddy as well.

I thought things would have settled down by now, in the first few weeks she was really good friends with the girl who is now best buddies with the girl who keeps being mean to her, but this obviously didnt last long.

It breaks my heart to think my little girl is having such a tough time. There are only 8 girls in the class, so limited options for making other friends.

On one hand she isn't upset about going to school, and she seems generally happy, and I think it's good for her to learn some resiliency and how to make lasting friendships, but on the other hand I feel awful for her.

Should I be worried yet? Is this normal for starting school when you don't know any of the other kids? Is there anything I should do?

[nickle730]

I would have a chat to her teacher. Possibly your DD is playing with the kids at kinder but what sticks in her mind is the occasion when the other girls told her she couldn't play, so this is what she is reporting to you. The teacher should be aware of the activity occurring in the playground and may be able to allay your fears. If there is a social issue which the teacher is not aware of, speaking to her gives the opportunity to direct your DD and the other children in inclusive play. Whilst it is important for children to develop resilience, empathy and inclusiveness are just as important!

[appletree]

Thanks Nickle, her teacher describes them as a 'clique' who ocassionaly have a falling out, but get over it after a day or two. This, with your explanation about it sticking in her mind the most is probably why she is generally pretty happy. She also commented that DD has a very strong sense if fairness and this often equates to dobbing on her friends, which I am sure is not really helping!