thread: Toilet training... To take a step back or not?

  1. #1
    Registered User
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    Jun 2008
    Tasmania
    3,011

    Toilet training... To take a step back or not?

    For the past few days we have been trying to TT our DS (3 years, 2 months).

    We've talked about it a lot, read some books, talked about 'big boy undies', about how it feels to wear a nappy, etc. We have had a few small attempts previously (a day or two), but it became clear he wasn't ready very quickly so we stepped back and put him back in nappies full time.

    I wasn't planning on TT him, but on the weekend just gone he had a very sore, red bottom, so I thought I'd leave him without a nappy to help it clear. I was expecting him to just wee and poo on the floor. We showed him the potty and talked about it again though, just in case. Then he was standing next to me and started doing a poo. I asked him is he was doing a poo, he said yes and then ran over to the potty and sat there for a while - I didn't even have to say anything. So, seeing as he did that I thought we'd try again the next day. He seemed less interested the next day, so we introduced a 'toilet toy' - a toy he'd been after for a while that he could only play with on the toilet or potty. That worked really well - for the first day he spent a lot of time on the potty and it resulted in a couple of wees and poos on the potty. We made a big deal about it when he went, he got a smartie and sticker for his chart every time he did something on the toilet or potty. I think those wees were more just because he happened to be sitting down, but it was more luck than we'd had in the past, so we kept with it. The following day DH stayed home from work to help out to see if we could really get things happening with DS's TT. DS spent much less time on the potty - there were a few wees on the floor, but also two times where he went to the potty by himself and and did a wee. This whole time he hasn't been wearing undies or anything - he really isn't keen on them, hates the feeling when he wees in them, so refuses to wear them. One time we tried he completely lost it. Actually, since we've been trying to TT him he has been a bit more on edge than usual.

    Today he has completely lost interest in going on the potty. The 'toilet toy' no longer has the same appeal, the reminders of smarties and stickers aren't doing anything. We kept asking him this morning if he needed to wee, and even with him starting to drip on the floor he said "no, not yet". He then did a big wee on the floor without any warning (he told when he did it), but still no interest in using the potty. After he did the wee he was wandering around the house wimpering though, which then turned into crying. I've been sure never to tell him off, just "try and do your wee on the potty next time", but I wonder if he's stressed about it, or upset with himself.
    We had friends coming for a play date, so I thought I'd put him in a pull up (it's the only thing I can convince him to wear). He and I got engrossed in playing/talking, so of course it got left and he did a wee in it. Still no interest in even trying to sit on the potty. I asked him again and again if he wanted to keep trying the potty, or if he just wanted to wear a pull up. He got quite emotional and opted for the pull up.

    So, now I'm at a bit of a loss. We had a bit of promise yesterday, but today he has completely gone off the idea and is refusing to even try. I don't know if he's just not ready yet or just being stubborn. I don't know if we should just take a step back completely and put him back in nappies, maybe try again in a few months when DH and I are better prepared - or keep trying now.

    Any stories, advice, etc would be much appreciated.

  2. #2
    Registered User

    Jul 2009
    2,251

    Give him time, these things take practice. Good luck