It's so hard when they do this! My DS has been doing this for ages too. It's very frustrating. I understand your worry about her nutrients, but it's highly unlikely that she will starve herself.
My advice:
Do not make it a fight. Offer her food and try to avoid any negotiation or encouragement to eat. She eats or she does not eat - it's her choice.
Stop the glass of milk. It will fill her tummy. Sounds cruel (and I totally understand where you're coming from), but if she knows she's getting that milk, she'll just hold out on dinner.
If she's happy to eat at 4pm, why not make that her dinner time? My kids are often too tired to eat properly after 5pm. we eat dinner at 4:30 usually.
Or, try having a big lunch and little dinner instead.
My husband *still* has a hard time letting go of trying to get DS to eat, but he's getting there. DS often pronounces dinner 'disgusting' and says he'd rather go to bed hungry than eat it. I say ok and leave it at that. Invariably, he ends up coming back to his dinner at bed time,, because he's hungry and it's not so disgusting after all. We just leave it there for him. Sometimes, if he's had a big lunch or lots of food during the day, he's just not hungry. When we tried to get him to eat it, it became a battle and a way for him to try and control us. No fun!
Good luck!


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