Advice needed - Don't know what to do. My gorgeous girls are so sad

[LuluHB]

I'm really struggling with my DDs at the moment. We've had an enormously busy last month + with both their birthdays, their friends' and other family members' birthdays etc that has meant every weekend they have had at least one party, but usually two. They're overstimulated, tired and emotional. We're at the end of the run now so I am planning lots of quiet time at home - yesterday they came home from pre-primary/kindy and the three of us curled up on the couch together and watched Dora rather than doing anything active.

So, I know they're struggling with all of that but they are both so incredibly clingy and I don't know if its "just" the above, or if its partly to do with #3 being close to due. DD1 is such a happy, easy going little girl but the past few days when I've taken her to school she's clung to me saying she wants to come home, and today she was in tears and inconsolable until I said I would pick her up at lunch time. DD2 has really regressed as well and can't go anywhere without me coming too, insists I stay with her at night etc. I'm overly emotional too, so its really upsetting me seeing them like this.

So, wise ladies, what do I do? Do I just say to hell with it and let them stay home if they want to, or do I keep pushing them to go despite their misery? I don't mind them missing a bit of school at this point, but am wary that I'm going to create bigger problems for down the track because they obviously can't stay home forever.

[~TT40~]

could be with the little one coming, I dont know, but wanted to give you a reply. *hugs*

[Novella]

sounds like a combination of tiredness, and being aware that something is happening. Could the be a bit under the weather? my girls get like this when they are coming down ith something

I would persist with school as she may realise making a fuss means I get to stay home and might create a nasty cycle. Sounds like you are doing the right thing lots of love an reassurance. I feel keeping up regular routines can really help kids get through upheaval and change such as the addition off a new bub or a tired hugely pregnant mummy, this is especially true for our eldest dd

good luck, I hope your little ladies perk up soon xx

[megs]

I would say it is due to the arrrival of the new baby. They probably sense that you are a bit on edge (given you could go into labour etc) and just the changes that will be coming.

I know when I had my 4th child last year my oldest got quite emotional, and just wasn't himself, shocked me a bit as I thought he would cope with it fine given his age, and your 2 little girls are probably feeding of each other a bit.

I hope once the new baby is hear that things settle into their new routine soon.

[~clover~]

I was about to say that they might be coming down with a flu or something. Mine get like that just before they're sick. Especially if they're a bit tired & run down at the moment.

Kindy here is only 2 days a week, but if it's more, maybe let them have a day off to see how they go & let them have some quiet time. I know my little ones need it more than my big ones, & Sunday is always a 7.30 bed time, or earlier after a big weekend, just because they are so worn out. It'll usually take the best part of the school week to get over it.

ETA - if you are going to let them have some time off, make a point of it being because they're sick/tired & that they can only have time off for those reasons. I'm lucky that mine are the opposite Its a fight to make them stay home when they're sick!

[Liviam]

Oh gorgeous lady firstly massive . Your girls could be feeling unsure/out of sorts because of bub arriving and what is going to happen and all the changes coming all on top of being exhausted from being so busy. With both of my DS's my kids got all out of sorts, whinging, clingy and ended up sleeping with us again. They know what's going on but can't handle it, that make sense?
I would absolutely keep up their routines but like you're already doing fit in lots and lots of cuddles and time with mummy. If sleeping with them helps then so be it so pick your battles so to speak.
Trust yourself hun you know your little girls better than anyone. Totally confused you???

[AndiE]

Hi hun, big hugs to you also. I suspect I could be heading for a similar situation over the next 12 weeks.
My thoughts would be to try and keep their routine now as close to what it will be after #3 arrives. It will be an adjustment period (obviously) after their sibling arrives, so the less changes for them probably the better.
In the meantime, I agree with the other gals - pick your battles and tread softly, softly for a bit while still keeping things on an even keel. You sound to me like you're already very tuned in to them, so that's got to be a real positive in your favour. Good luck for now and when bub arrives xx

(Now ... can I heed my own advice when it's my turn?)

[LuluHB]

Thanks everyone.

Clover - my kids are normally like yours. They can be either dead on their feet or sick as dogs but still want to go to school, so this is a big about face for them.

I picked DD1 up at noon today (normally a 3pm finish). She and I had a lovely afternoon of lunch, buying her a new winter outfit, having afternoon tea and just wandering before going to pick up DD2 from kindy. She seems to have perked up lots so maybe she just needed a bit of one on one time.

Will see what tomorrow morning brings but thanks for confirming its right to keep sending them. That's what the practical, logical side of me says but the hormonal, emotional pregnant whale just wants to hug them all day long.

[OceanPrincess]

Ahhh kids are such perceptive things. As someone else put it, I think they know things are changing but don't know exactly what and how to deal with it. I think it might be a combination of that plus the tiredness making it worse... Definitely agree that keeping the routines as normal as possible will help them get back into the swing of normal life. But not overdoing it.

I know when DD comes home from kinder on Friday afternoon, all she wants to do is lie on the couch - end of the week, tired, Friday is a big day, so I just let her. By Saturday, after a good sleep, she is usually back to her bright self. Might take a bit more TLC with your two.

Don't forget to go easy on yourself too.