How do you deal with this?
When does it stop? Or at least settle down?
It's driving me nuts. Sometimes I'm heading into meltdown territory before I'm even out of bed.
Here is an example: I'm in bed BF DD. DS comes in from his room & climbs into bed beside me then pulls at me & pushes DD. I try to cuddle both but this makes it uncomfortable for me to feed & DD starts to cry then DS throws a tantrum if I make him wait.
Another example: Both kids will be playing happily by themselves. DS will decide he wants a cuddle which I happily give. DD then starts crying & trying to push her way between DS & I. DS then fights back usually resulting in cranky mummy, hurt DD & angry DS.
They don't do this to DH or anyone else. Just me. As soon as I'm in the room, both of them have to be attached to me. It's getting ridiculous. It doesn't seem to be any particular need - just pure jealousy. And it's both of them!
DS just doesn't seem to understand that mummy can cuddle both at the same time. DD is too little to understand that I think. Both of them get heaps of attention from both DH & I. I try to give both of them as much one on one time as possible. It's not always possible though when they are so little.
our kids are at a different stage (DS1 is almost 2, and DS2 is 2 months) and DS1 doesn't seem to get jealous much, but he does sometimes completely crack it if I can't do what he wants, because I'm feeding or burping or changing or bathing DS2 ... and at such times, things which seem to work for us are:-
* DS1 has some specific toys in a special box which are *only* for when mummy is BF DS2 - there's a couple of cars that make noises, some playdohs, etc ...
* I bf on the couch mostly, with my legs up, and DS1 can sit by me and read or cuddle DS2 at the same time ... I can't really cuddle him at the same time, or turn the pages of the book, but I can read to him and do something like pop a blanket over both his and my legs, which seems to make him feel included and "together" with me, ITMS
* if DS1 is a bit grumpy and I'm about to do a feed, I ask him to do some "big brother" or "helpful" things, go get him involved in the process ... even if it's popping a spit rag into the laundry hamper, or carrying a waterbottle for me, getting him helping seems to make him less jealous - he's on my team, and we're looking after DS2 together ...
* I ask him to show me something ... showing me his jumping, or his building, or making the trains go, or whatever ... giving tons of praise and so forth ... it means DS2 isn't really getting any attention, but if it means I can feed him or burp him or give him cuddles without DS1 losing the plot, then so be it ...
* if all else fails, the television ... I am not a fan, and the main show DS1 likes (the night garden) drives me completely bonkers, but DS1 is absolutely rivetted by it, and if none of my include-y things or help-y things or special things are working, then I'll try to find something on the telly to keep him interested - and he'll either sit by me or on his own little chair and watch ... I'm actually thinking of taping a couple of episodes of something worthwhile onto a tape, so I don't spend the first 5 minutes of the feed scrolling through different channels trying to find something appropriate and engaging ...
These might all be things you've already tried - but I hope something helps!
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Sibling Jealousy
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