Would you let your 5 year old travel as an unaccompanied minor?

[LimeSlice]

I need some help, a bit of a pickle.

ExDH has just been here for a week to visit the girls. First time he has seen them (aside from Skype!) since we left on June 10th. He cannot get any more time off work for another visit until after the new year. Due to his 4 on/4 off roster and the geographically remote location of his work, visiting on his RDOs is just not feasible.

As it stands, I have an *almost* 5 year old and an 18 month old. Flying to and from Perth for all 3 of us, is a very expensive venture, to say the least. Money we (ex and I) simply don't have.

I have been trying to come up with ways for us to be able to get the girls to him before the end of the year. He is working Christmas Day and NYE, so they are all out, not to mention the sheer cost of tix at that time is impossible for our budget. Ex suggested some time ago the notion of DD1 traveling as an unaccompanied minor to see him. I said no way, aside from thinking she was much to young policy-wise to fly unaccompanied, I have a hard time dealing with thoughts of "what if..." if she were alone on a flight.

Well, it seems I was wrong. According to Qantas, at the age of 5, she CAN travel as an unaccompanied minor on a domestic flight!
Now, my issue is really purely in terms of emergencies. She has flown more times than she hasfingers to count on, and loves planes, flying and has a ball. The hostesses dote on her something chronic and she is apple of everyone's eye. LOL She is generally very independent and happy to amuse herself with colouring, toys and movies and food I am sure.
I have no doubt she would be a bit wary of flying without me though, but this is something I am sure would be cured by attentive hostesses.

So my question is, would you allow your 5 year old frequent flyer, to travel 4 hours on a plane without an adult? Am I being a bit OTT, surely in event of emergencies there would be a hostess who would be responsible solely for her, or not?

I really don't want to keep the girls from ex, and they adore him so desperately, but I am just really not sure I am comfortable with her traveling alone. Would like some honest views on this please.

[Arimeh]

Not my 5 year old. But boys are a little less mature than girls - we all know that

[Doing my best]

Sorry, not that age, nope..

I am not sure of the ins and outs of unaccompanied minors, and honestly think 5 is a bit young. Although my dd is independent, she isn't that independent.

[Tinks]

It's a hard one. I think it would depend on her maturity level. How does she cope being away from you? My DS has flown as an accompanied minor and loved it, he sat with other unaccompanied kids and they had a ball. He was older than 5 though. My youngest is 9 and she wouldn't cope at all but the other 2 would at that age.

[Cassius2]

I used to do it as the 5 year old in question and quite liked it. the only part i found hard was walking away from mum with the hostess to the plane. they were awesome with me though and never left me alone

As a mother to a now 5 year old i just cant imagine it But i do believe in terms of her safety that she would be well attended etc., but yeah, massive step to take as a Mama!!

I too am thinking of doing this with DD1 as she desperately wants to visit her grandma in QLD and we were thinking next year as a school holiday treat...so am interested in how you go!

[LimeSlice]

As a mother to a now 5 year old i just cant imagine it But i do believe in terms of her safety that she would be well attended etc., but yeah, massive step to take as a Mama!!

This is it... I am worried I am maybe being a bit of a *mum* and finding some irrational fears to prevent me from letting her go!

Thanks everyone

[*LittleMissSummer*]

I obviously don't have a 5 yr old just yet but if either of my kids were as you described yours i wouldn't have an issue, if i felt they would be comfortable and that their would be a hostess there incase they got scared or upset i would have no issues providing the person on the other end was right there when they got off the plane.

[PumpkinZulu]

I think for your particular 5 year old, absolutely. I think she's mature enough. Some kids no way. I flew unattended at a similar age and loved it, just a bit nervous getting off the plane to meet mum I think. The hostesses are awesome.

[krysalyss]

No, I really wouldn't even consider it at this age. Sure, everything would probably go ok but if something goes wrong, DS just isn't old enough to know what to do and where to go for help.

[MrsFabuloso]

No, not at 5. My 5yr old is well spoken, mature, independent and confident. But I wouldn't let her travel unaccompanied. There are way too many what if's and if something happened to her, I could never forgive myself. I don't think I could do it til she were around 8yrs old.

[LimeSlice]

No, not at 5. My 5yr old is well spoken, mature, independent and confident. But I wouldn't let her travel unaccompanied. There are way too many what if's and if something happened to her, I could never forgive myself. I don't think I could do it til she were around 8yrs old.

This is really where I am at I think.

The only alternative is to fly her over, drop her at airport with ex and fly home immediately. Then he can fly her back to Melbourne and drop her at the airport with me and fly home immediately himself.

[Nai]

I would with my 6.5 yo but where she was at 5 I dont think she would have coped.

[maybebaby2012]

Absolutely not, i wouldn't even let my 8 year old though so I might just be one of those aeroplane mothers or whatever they call them.
I know logically that she would probably be fine, I don't see it as unsafe or anything, I just couldn't do it personally.

[bellany]

This is really where I am at I think.

The only alternative is to fly her over, drop her at airport with ex and fly home immediately. Then he can fly her back to Melbourne and drop her at the airport with me and fly home immediately himself.

This is what we do. (Bris to tas )
I wouldn't let my 9 & 7 year olds go alone even. I just think there are too many variables.
We only do it once every other year and he visits here once a year at his birthday.
We have had this arrangement for just over 3 years now and it seems to be working fine .

[onthefly]

Rationally, I think my 4.5 year old would be fine with it. Actually he'd think it was great to go all by himself. He would drive the staff batty, though.
.... but I'd probably be worried stupid the whole time.

[Emma09]

I probably would.
They're watched by a flight attendant and collected at the other end by somebody with ID.

Can I ask what others think the variables are?
Maybe I haven't really thought about it?

[ladybirdflies]

Do you know anybody who may be going over there around the same time? My cousin used to fly her son over to see his dad and they would time it with someone else going over to visit, often he would fly back alone. (sometimes back with the person who went with him if the timing fit)

[ll80]

My ex lives two states away and he flies up to get my 8yr DD and then flies back with her. This has been happening since she was 3.
She is not confident (despite him trying to make her feel guilty about the cost) to fly on her own.

My situation is a little different in that he is deliberately unemployed so he doesn't have to pay me child support. So my ultimatum is if he wants to see her he can get himself here and get her back.

When DD is confident enough I won't mind letting her go alone but I think five is too young. What happens if she needs to go to the loo on the plane and needs help? or uncharacteristically gets upset and has an unsympathetic hostess, so she then develops anxiety about plane travel? Too many what ifs for me.