What do I say...

[Wiggle's Mum]

Hi ladies,

I have just received a call from my best friend who is 16 pregnant with her first child. She has just been informed that bubs has a neural tube defect and no chance at surviving outside of the womb. They have been told that the baby is brain dead and that she will have to go into hospital to have the baby "removed" (which is the most awful way to describe what is happening).

I just dont know what to say/do. I know that nothing I say can in anyway bring her or her DH any comfort but I love them both so much and I just want to find some small way to show her how devastated I am for both of them.

Sorry for the rambling, I'm still in shock I think. I dont even really know what the point of this post was, I just needed to tell someone and the person I would usually talk to about it is her!

[foreva*your*mummy]

I have no advice, just let her talk to you about how she is feeling and be there for anything she needs. What a terrible thing to happen. so sorry for your friend

[leesha]

Just let her know you are there for her for anything she needs. Perhaps cook some meals for them that can be frozen as I'm sure cooking will be the last thing on their mind. How terrible for her and her dh...so sorry..

[BellyBelly]

Theres a great article on the main site about what to say with miscarriage and loss, in the health articles section. Sorry i'm on my phone and cant link it, if someone can.

[Charlotte91]

How awful.
I'm so sorry your friend has to go through this.

No-one should have to go through a birth defect or the loss of a child.

[HotI]

Here is the article Kelly referred to https://www.bellybelly.com.au/health...to-say-support

[chippyrabbit]

Check out the website for Bears of Hope, there is a heap of information there. Very helpful for me when i lost my little one.

[BellyBelly]

Thank you HotI

[dory]

hugs sweetie....such devastating news, so heartbreaking......even though "early" their baby will always be their baby, and they will love and remember their wee baby, always. go gently on yourself too while you are supporting them. i will drop back later to write some more and check on you.

[Wiggle's Mum]

Thank you all so much for your replies. It has been a very difficult week for my friend and her DH. They are at the hospital as we speak finding out the details of where they go from here so hopefully they can begin to grieve (my friend said that up until now, it has all been a bit surreal!)