Having a third....I'm torn....

[nataliew]

From the time DS2 was 3 months old (after the "OH MY GOD! I DON'T REMEMBER IT BEING THIS HARD!! phase was wearing off ) we knew that we wanted to try for another. And up until a few weeks ago that plan was still very much in place. But now, out of the blue, I'm not so sure.
If we do have another we want to start trying now because we want a much smaller age gap this time around but things are just starting to get so much easier and I'm wondering if I really want to do it all over again.
I love the idea of 3 kids...when they are older. The idea of 2 littlies and a newborn is not so attractive. I feel like I am just starting to get a handle on things again, we have a lovely little routine in place (most days!) and it feels good!! I could honestly say that right now I'm content with my 2 boys and lets close the book. My fear is that in a few years time when the boys are older, I'll think differently. I just always had it set in my mind that I wanted 3 and my husband and I are both at an age where it really needs to be now or never.
I'd love to hear any stories from people who have been through the "should we, shouldn't we" and how they've felt about their decision in hindsight. I totally understand that this is an individual decision to be made by our family alone. I'm just really interested to hear others stories.

[2CheekyMonkeys]

I have recently been in this boat too. I have started a couple if threads relating to this too. We are going to take the plunge and do it. I don't want to have any regrets.


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[milka]

My first and second sons were 12 months 1 week apart and I thought never again! But after the initial 12 months I started thinking if I wanted 3 I would prefer them close and enjoy the 'easy' life once they were older. Now they are nearly 2 and nearly 3 best of friends/hate one another and we have a great routine going... That will all change in 6 weeks as #3 is nearly here.

No doubt I'll think WHY! But once the newborn phase is over I look forward to my 3 boys growing up close and doing pretty much everything together.

If you are thinking of 3 then I say go for it!!!

[OceanPrincess]

Having just had my third, I can honestly now say I am done. Done. I feel complete. I didn't feel this way after DS1 - I looked at DH and said "I've got one more in me." We both felt we needed one more bub to complete our family.

Then leaving hosp on Wednesday, we both concluded that was it for us - no fourth. We knew.

If it isn't clear for you, don't shut the door just yet. Routines can be remade

[leesha]

I was the same as OP...our family didn't feel complete but after number three it really does now!
I have a 4yr old, 2yr old and almost 5 month old and it's bloody hard work most days but is also rewarding. I'm looking forward to the future when they will all be teenagers keeping me young...haha

[nickle730]

I have three. I honestly believe that you regret the children you don't have, you never regret the children that you do have. Go for it.

[nataliew]

I have three. I honestly believe that you regret the children you don't have, you never regret the children that you do have. Go for it.

I love that! That really sums it up.

My husband agrees with everyone here, that we should just go for it because if we're not sure then it means we're not finished. I definitely need some more thinking time but I think that deep down I know the answer

[AndiE]

I'm another who really wanted to have three, and now that our third son is here I can honestly say I'm done. I've always thought that you just "know" when you're done.

Even in the early days with DS2 I was aware I wanted another and DS3 arrived six weeks ago (I'm currently in that "Oh my God, I don't remember it being this hard!!" phase ). My first two sons are 20 months apart, and then a gap of 32 months between DS2 and DS3. I won't lie, it's hard work having three under five but I wouldn't change being a mum-of-three for the world.

[FabFiona]

I think that regardless of the number of children you have, you know when you are done. I had thoughts of 2-3 children, but now that I've had two I know I'm done. I feel that my family is complete.

Regardless of the difficult times that can sometimes come with a newborn and toddlers, it all works out in the end.

Good luck to you and your decision.

[LuluHB]

We ummed and ahhed about 3 or not for a while and now that No. 3 is here I know we made the right decision. There was obviously nothing wrong with our family pre Miss A, but now I definitely think we're complete. I just have a different level of contentment. We also had the view that while we could spend the rest of our lives wondering 'what if' had we not had a third, there is no way we would ever regret a child that was here.

FWIW, I also found the transition from 1 to 2 a kazillion times harder than the transition from 2 to 3 has been. My No. 3 girl is a very content baby, but she's still got me up ALL night, and even so it is still surprisingly easy looking after her and two very active small girls.