Baby's Sleep - I've decided its 10% what you do and 90% Luck

[MummyNaomi]

Now that I am a parent of 2 - I've decided that a baby's sleep (or lack there-of) is pretty much out of a parents control. I've had one average sleeper and one great sleeper and done exactly the same with both. So why are they different? I think the babies personality, metabolism and gestation at birth are the bigger factors

While I am a firm believer that setting routines - eg a bath before bedtime, feeding quietly all night etc all HELP, as long as a baby is healthy, fed and comfortable and in a relaxing environment then you've probably done the most you can. The rest is kinda up to chance!

My observation with my two is that the gestation at birth and metabolism seem to be the difference - DS was a month early and has a fast metabolism so burns energy quickly, so he needed more feeds overnight. DD however seems to be like me, super slow metabolism, was born full term and is a sleeper. Both were wrapped from birth, fed to sleep, slept in our room in the basinett, breastfed, followed the same bedtime routine, the only other difference between them is that DS had a dummy.

Interested to hear what others think. I'm super stoked that DD is spoiling me with her sleeping, but in reality its nothing I'm doing as her mother, its just the way she is...... (I get up to DS at 3.5yrs more than I do to DD at 3 months!! She could teach him a thing or two )

[Razzberry]

I totally agree!!

I parent both my kids the same. I know lots of people think Im soft on my daughter and thats why she never slept and still doesn't sleep well (3 years old now). She takes hours to go to sleep and wakes often.
My son (7 months) has always been an awesome sleeper!

I thought I was a bad mother that must have been doing all the wrong things with my daughter, but now I KNOW it wasn't me, its just that its how my children are.

Sometimes I wish (and I know this sounds awful) that parents who say "My DD slept through the night and is in an awesome routine because I followed this book or I did this, or I put in alot of hard work". Well guess what I put in alot of hard work, read everybook on sleep and routines and it did NOTHNG to help my daughter!!

[wysiwyg]

I agree, although for the first six months my two were the same both great but since then they have completely diverged.

[Novella]

Agree although my two earlybirds slept through from 8 and 9 weeks and I made it to 37+4with dd3 and she still wakes multiple times a night!

[willow5]

I totally agree!! I have 3 and they were all soooo different. You'd be in trouble with my DS3 if you were strict on routine because just will not play along lol DS1 was always hard to get down but once he was he was out. DS2 would sleep at the drop of a hat. Anywhere any time and nothing would wake him until he was ready, and he couldn't stay awake past about 6.30-7pm until he was about 3, he'd just drop off at the dinner table or wherever he was and that was it out for the night. Slept through from about 4 weeks. DS3 however didn't sleep more than 2 hrs 2 1/2 if I was lucky, day or night until he was 2. Nearly killed me with sleep deprivation.

[MummyNaomi]

Actually there is one thing that I do think affects my DD. I am caffeine free as it does seem to affect her sleeping if I drink coffee or cola

[Rowellen]

I was caffeine free for DS but not DD and they have both been shockers with sleep.

[Bloom]

You know, I think I disagree to some extent with this. Yes, all children are different and they require different amount of sleep and food.

But I've got to say when people say to me "Ooh aren't you lucky that both your boys do/don't do xyz", I often feel like saying - "it's not luck, it is what we are doing!". If I have a third who turns out to be similar to both my boys, then I will feel more confident in this. (I should say that I'm not restricting this to newborn sleep habits, but other things as well).

[Sagres]

I agree totally! I think it is true for a lot of things with babies really....you can do what ever till your blue in the face but I reckon on many fronts we can only influence things like 10 or 20%, but ultimately we just have the hand we are dealt. At some point you
(by you I mean you, me, everyone, not specifically you!) need to just realise this is the way things will be and it is less effort working with it that against it!

[willow5]

I agree totally! I think it is true for a lot of things with babies really....you can do what ever till your blue in the face but I reckon on many fronts we can only influence things like 10 or 20%, but ultimately we just have the hand we are dealt. At some point you
(by you I mean you, me, everyone, not specifically you!) need to just realise this is the way things will be and it is less effort working with it that against it!

Absolutely! Much easier to go with it than to struggle trying to change it. You can only control things to a certain point.

[RhiChiChi]

Having spoken to many second & third time parents I'd say it is probably fairly accurate. My cousing swears by this. Her DD is not a great sleeper, constantly waking at night whereas her DS is a much better sleeper, I think he may sleep through?? Perhaps she was a little more relaxed with her DS and that has contributed to him being a better sleeper but they were both term babies, good feeders etc...

[onthefly]

99% paternal DNA.

[Rowellen]

99% paternal DNA.

I think you've got it in one!

[HotI]

99% paternal DNA.

ha ha

[peanutter]

I will come back and respond when I've had some sleep.

So different from DS1 ... so very different ...

[chody47]

Noooooo! Don't tell me this lol! I like to think that DD sleeps so well due to something I've done and our next DD will be exactly the same. Don't let me lose hope lol.

[onthefly]

it's a nice thought.... except for those whose babies don't sleep 'well', who must then be terrible parents There are a LOT of dreadful parents around, I must say

[PumpkinZulu]

DD slept amazingly for the first 6 months, and pretty woefully for the next 6 months, and then sometimes okay for the next 4. So either our parenting style is really erratic or it's her