DS is almost 3.5yrs. Hes very shy/ anxious around other children. He even avoids crawling babies like they have a contagious disease! Wont go anywhere near his 8wk old cousin.
He's ok with most adults as long as I reassure him. No amount of reassurance will get him to interact with another child.
We had a friend with 2 kiDS- one older, one younger- over last week and aside from a little jealousy over his toys he didnt interact with them at all.
We have been going to MOPS once a fortnight for a few months and playgroup every week since the start of the year. They are run by the same church so lots of the same kids. But hes still not really interacting with the kids. Keeps to himself, wont participate in group times, etc. I think the only reason he was ok staying in the MOPS creche without me is because a friend of mine is a carer so he knows her. Even then he is nervous. Im not sure if I should be keeping him out until he is more emotionally mature, or put him in more activities or even daycare and get him used to having other kids around.
DD1 was the same. Painfully reserved, and she still is, even though she is getting a little better. Honestly he will come out of his shell when he is ready. but theres nothing wrong in getting him into more things where he has to interact with other kids. Also try and pick some activities where you are not needed to be right next to him, perhaps where he can see you or know where you are, but you arent being right there next to him? Or do this gradually over time? I found preschool really helped DD1, but I had to wait until she was ready to go.
My DS is like this. Even now, and he's nearly 6. Needs a lot of encouragement sometimes, even when he wants to interact with other children.
He's a lot better with others when I'm not there, so if, for example, I leave him at Beavers instead of staying (he's just started), he's more likely to just join in. He just needs to feel safe and I am happy that he trusts me enough for me to be his safe place. He'll find safety and confidence in himself soon enough, until then he can stay with me. I will miss him when he's gone.
DD is the same, and was even the same with adults..I think daycare has helped a lot, because I am not there with her so she can't cling to me and stick with me like she does at playgroup, she has to rely on her carers and they do lots of group time activities where she has to interact with the other kids. Often when I go to pick her up she will be sitting in the sandpit playing by herself..lol. But at least I know she has had the opportunity to be surrounded by other kids and interact with people other than myself.
I know I was a pretty shy, reserved kid and would happily spend hours reading or playing by myself, especially once I hit high school it was hard to make friends (possibly more so now I'm an adult!), and I want to give her the opportunity to develop the social skills she is going to need in later life. The hard thing is that she is worse when I am there!
How can I help him to be more confident?
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