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thread: I knew it was going to come to this ...

  1. #1
    2013 BellyBelly RAK Recipient.
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    Mar 2007
    WA
    783

    I knew it was going to come to this ...

    My last 2 pregnancies I was sick. Constantly. Vomiting. Every day, every where. This time I only felt a little queasy ... alarm bells were ringing.

    I asked my OB for an early ultrasound becuase I wasn't feeling confident. I should have followed my gut instinct more. I was supposed to be 8 weeks, baby didn't develop past 5. The U/S tech was trying to be nice saying "it can still be viable - go and get some blood tests and we'll see in another week". I knew there was no hope. I have a regular 28 day cycle, my dates couldn't be wrong. So I go and have some blood tests anyway, come home go to toilet and dun dun dun - there's the blood. Bit ironic. Was a stab in the back. Felt like my body is laughing at me ...

    So I have some questions ... what can I expect bleeding wise from a loss at 5 weeks? Will it be gone by Christmas? Do I consider this a period and that I'll ovulate in 2 weeks and then have my cycles back?

    I don't want to be pregnant again yet. I can't be bothered dealing with this crap again. I have resigned myself to the fact this will happen again ...

  2. #2
    Registered User

    Apr 2009
    Epping, VIC
    2,546

    I knew it was going to come to this ...

    I've had 2 losses at 5 weeks- just a normal period, maybe some cramps.
    I did O as normal 2 weeks later.
    (I know I did, as I did natural FET- back to back)

    A great big
    I found the emotional side of things, much more difficult than the physical.

  3. #3
    Registered User

    Nov 2008
    Victoria
    561

    I am so very sorry for your loss

  4. #4
    Registered User

    Jun 2012
    South Australia
    1,097

    so sorry for your loss i had our m/c at 5w 5d, i bled for about 2-3 weeks, no pain or clots, i had a 45 day cycle, next month was about 38 day cycle and O'd.

    big big 's. be gentle and take care of yourself

  5. #5
    Registered User

    Sep 2012
    Sydney, NSW
    1,123

    I'm so sorry Nikki I hope your coping as ok as you can be. Thinking of you x

  6. #6
    Registered User

    Dec 2007
    Hork-Bajir Valley
    5,722

    =( *massive hugs*
    take care of yourself.
    fly free little one.

  7. #7
    Registered User

    May 2012
    Where faith conquers fear
    559

    I knew it was going to come to this ...

    I'm so sorry nikki, your story reminds me a lot of my last loss because I lacked my usual horrendous morning sickness and just felt something not quite right. I think our baby stopped developing around 6 weeks and I finally miscarried at around 8. For me I had spotting for over a week and then really bad cramps and moderate bleeding with clots and some tissue. I bled for about 10 days, not including the prior spotting.

    I ovulated on time (counting from first day of proper bleeding) and had a cycle within 32 days, On a lighter note I fell pregnant again after my 2nd cycle.

    Sending lots of love, go gently xxx

  8. #8
    Registered User

    Dec 2008
    Brisbane, QLD
    5,171


  9. #9
    2013 BellyBelly RAK Recipient.
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    Mar 2007
    WA
    783

    Thanks ladies for your help and thanks Calluna for the VM - I can't work out how to reply.

    I desperately want another baby but do I jump straight back on the horse (so to speak), the fear of this happening again is just immense. All I want to know is why it did happen. Is it just a once off or is it a new problem. I want to know this BEFORE I get pregnant again. Yeah, in my dreams!!

  10. #10
    2014 BellyBelly RAK Recipient.

    Feb 2010
    Gold Coast
    2,117

    I've had two chems, both losses of 4-5weeks, and a mc at 8 weeks.

    For the chems, they were a lot like a regular period, just heavier. The bleeding resolved itself after about a week. I too found the emotional side of things a lot more difficult. As for your cycle returning to normal, it can be different from woman to woman.

    There's nothing wrong with taking a break from TTC whilst your body and mind heals. But one loss doesn't necessarily mean it'll happen again. It does take away your innocence surrounding pregnancy, and every BFP comes with a three month fear-zone, (sometimes more!). Some time to process will help. I don't think the fear of having another mc ever really goes away. I know it didn't for me. But my fear of never having more children was stronger than my fear of another loss. I figured I'd face it head on, because never trying again would mean never knowing. Thats just me though. It really is difficult.

    I'm so sorry for your loss hun.

  11. #11
    Registered User

    Sep 2009
    Brisbane
    891

    I knew it was going to come to this ...

    So sorry to hear about your loss Nikki I don't have any advice sorry I couldn't not even begin to imagine what you are feeling.

  12. #12
    Registered User

    Dec 2008
    Brisbane, QLD
    5,171

    Totally get that fear, 2 months on Im still so scared of being pregnant and so sad Im not. Whether you go back to TTC or not is something you need to decide for yourself. No one can answer that for you. I wish you didnt even have to make this decsion.

    Im told it is likely it was just a once off. Doesnt make it hurt any less though.

  13. #13
    BellyBelly Member

    Jan 2010
    2,793

    I'm very sorry to hear of your loss.

    I had a loss around the 5.5-6 week mark. For me it was like a normal AF, just a bit more cramping than usual. My next cycle was about a week longer than usual.

  14. #14
    Registered User

    Jun 2009
    Brisbane, Qld
    1,247

    Oh honey, I am so so sorry for your loss!

    As you know before DS1, I had a chemical pregnancy at 4w1d and it broke my heart. It was just like a normal period, maybe just a touch heavier with some horrible cramps and I did O as normal 2 weeks later as I conceived DS1 that month! When I asked my GP back then why this happens/happened he said that sometimes it's just natures way of saying it wouldn't have been a sticky baby from the start and that it wasn't meant to be - harsh words to hear especially when you're hurt and can't understand but it helped me deal with it in a way I guess. He also said that with early m/c that it can actually make you very fertile and you could conceive again the next month (which is what happened in my case) although I didn't expect it to happen.

    Be kind to yourself and try again when you feel ready to!

    Lots of love and gentle hugs to you!

    xoxoxoxo

  15. #15
    Registered User

    Dec 2008
    Brisbane, QLD
    5,171

    Thinking of you, honey, hope you are doing ok.

  16. #16
    2013 BellyBelly RAK Recipient.
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    Mar 2007
    WA
    783

    Hey Calluna,

    I'm doing ok ... I completed my miscarriage yesterday naturally at the hospital due to heavy blood loss. Was a day from hell ...

    Doctor said I can TTC straight away if I want - the thought of being pregnant again has me running for the hills. So terrified of experiencing all of this again ...

    How are you going? xx

  17. #17
    Registered User

    Dec 2008
    Brisbane, QLD
    5,171

    Im sorry its been so traumatic

    Im up and down, night time is the worst because I have time to slow down and think about it. Thank you for asking.

  18. #18
    2013 BellyBelly RAK Recipient.
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    Mar 2007
    WA
    783

    Glad to hear you are doing ok

    I agree, my mind races at night about what could have been ...

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