I will not have my partner with me during my labour as he left me when I was 7 months. I spent alot of time early last month when it happened thinking 'this isn't how it's meant to be'.. etc..
I was alone for my first labour at 21 and it was downright horrible- unfortunately even though the first time was my wise choice that partner was not in the picture, in a million years I did not expect to see this replicated 8 years later.
I am starting to move past this however I want a very positive and memorable birthing experience. I'm probably not having the big wedding or engagement, house purchase celebrations in the next decade and I consider this my last significant life event for some time, so I'd like to formally celebrate it to remember later with the fondness it deserves.
Birthing partners/attending labour will be my lovely doula, a friend with a newborn herself who just had an incredible birthing experience 12 weeks ago and wants to help me achieve my own, and another friend. This will be first birthing experience for my 2 friends, bar their own children.
We are all in late 20's and I am having my son in 2-3 weeks in public. Would like some tips and ideas to keep it a
positive, calm, fun and uplifting environment for me, as well as memorable in its own right.
I will stay at home until doula picks me up and then attend hospital as soon as DD is dropped off at best friend's for sleepover.
What I have planned so far-
A Happy Birth Day cake, for us all to celebrate his birth once he has had a bit of snuffle round and is asleep.
Taking my high quality camera for doula to record candid shots of the while experience for everyone (also the girls and I interacting during early labour, not just the usual cuddle/crowning pics :P) I will then make this into an age and public-viewing appropriate slideshow for my daughter (7).
'Bounty Bags for Birthing Partners'- these involve pretty gift bags with a handwritten thankyou letter, a piece of jewellery to remember the day with, and an IOU for a day of babysitting their little ones. (Not valid for the next 3 months!!).
Taking Monopoly to birthing suite- Monopoly is ALWAYS fun
Also due to SPD will not be able to be very mobile/active. Will be having an epidural after early labour.
Thanks in advance for any other ideas to make this really memorable for me.
There are some great baby shower games around, why not see if there's any that suit you for labour. Like unjumbling baby related words or baby bingo. Take some music too, should help relax the atmosphere hope it all goes well for you
i had uno with my birth stuff, but it never got out of the packet, so don't stress if you change your mind when labour starts and have different priorities.
Watching a fave childhood movie is fun if u will b at home for a bit beforehand. I HAD to watch the sound of music. It really helped me stay calm and centred just before I left for hospital. I was sad cos I couldn't finish watching it lol
Good luck with the birth Hun,and I hope it's perfect in every way for you
I think those bags are a beautiful idea. After having three children though I wouldn't be worried about what your birthing partners are doing, if they are preoccupied etc...you need people in the room focused on you and your needs. If you want to play monopoly then go for it but I highly doubt you will )
I would focus more on prepping them for the birth and what you want to happen. I know you have a doula but having other women in the room intuned to you will be invaluable
Good luck xx
Thanks very much to everyone. Yes you're right about monopoly!
I just want everyone in the room on the same page as me at the start- if they know my intentions, what I expect, how I would like the environment to feel, how I would prefer everything to happen etc, I feel it will be alot smoother. I've already shared my birth plans (which are SO minimal and mostly related to pubic symphysis pain prevention- my doula already knows what I want and don't want.) I am a bit of a control freak and it is hard for me to give over to my environment- especially in hospital- so I love the idea of three other women there that I love, that have my back, and will speak up for me without me having to verbalise constantly.
I was thinking of making a 'short straw' game.. With the support-related jobs rubbing back, fetching iced water, holding hand, etc.. Then they know what their 'jobs' are and they can swap if they like! They both have a nasty sense of humour and would love that one, I can see them 'trading' the crappy jobs off to each other at the start poor doula has no choice but as she put it- 'nothing you can say or do can hurt my feelings when you are in labour.' Love her.
Also- champagne and a favourite movie- YES! Both winners.
I'm thinking I'll get all my visitors to arrive on day two or three, (the really important ones that will drop everything to meet baby and check on me) meet me in visitors lounge, snap a happy champagne and baby cake photo and get a whole bunch of candids with the baby. Thanks for the inspiration guys! xx
Well, as an update, should this thread be read in future, I thought I'd note the outcome-
Was in 'pre-labour' for 2 or 3 days (aka denial) and baby was 2 weeks early.
Doula arrived, rubbed my back, shoved me in the car, was 7cm dilated on arrival (midwife said he then crowned on her hand from my involuntary pushing and she's never gotten someone off a bed and in a wheelchair so fast)
Wheeled rather quickly to birthing suite, Baby P arrived 10 minutes later after 2 pushes. Birthing partners arrived 5 minutes after the fact and missed the whole thing. =D One of them will never forgive and forget- the doula asked her to move the car from 5 minute parking, (she stuck her head in during my 2 minute exam) and baby came while she was gone!
Last edited by Katters; May 2nd, 2013 at 05:20 AM.
What an amazing birth! I love to read the follow-ups when people have posted threads like you did. It's like reading the final chapter of a book - thanks for posting, and congratulations!
Thanks and you're welcome! I like reading the follow-up stories too.
He was diagnosed with Down syndrome about an hour after his birth.. It was the perfect natural labour I had been longing for, and it was the ideal setting to bond me with my baby even though he was whisked away 2 hours after birth to NICU for pulmonary hypertension, and I didn't officially get him home until he was 6 weeks old. He's now 14 weeks, 7kg, happily breastfed on demand, attending early intervention, slamming his milestones, and being the happy chatty beautiful little man he was born to be. I credit my birth plan with helping me get to the healthy emotional, accepting, loving place I'm at today. (Which is the same place I was at after I had grieved for the loss of the baby I didn't recieve.) That doesn't take a thing away from my perfect son- but he is definitely not what I expected and I needed that time to mourn what I thought my life would be. I have a feeling if I wimped out and had gone down the path of fear, rejection and requested medical interventions.. Life would be a scarier, different place right now and so would my relationship with my son. so there concludes my dramatic little chapter!
Wow Katters, what a birth! I guess there's not much more a birth story when it's that fast. I had a good laugh at your birth partner moving the car and missing it
Congrats on your little boy, it sounds as though he's doing wonderfully
Reply With Quotehope it all goes well for you
Registered User
Early labour activity ideas?
rubbing back, fetching iced water, holding hand, etc.. Then they know what their 'jobs' are and they can swap if they like! They both have a nasty sense of humour and would love that one, I can see them 'trading' the crappy jobs off to each other at the start
Bookmarks