(almost) 3YO waking up in middle of night and staying awake for hours!

[Cass72]

So DS2 is almost 3.

Our night time routine is down pat. He gets a story, his nappy is put on, he has a cuddle then it's lights out and off to sleep...... sometimes he will turn his light back on and read or do a puzzle but I don'thave a problem with this as long as he doesn't come out of his room.

It is only a few hours later that the monster emerges!!! Once awake he will stay up for two hours, sometimes longer.

My head was just about done in last night, and I truly hope he didn't catch all those threats I made under my breath (although my tone and tucking in methods may have suggested that mummy was serious).

He will self-settle back to sleep but I can't sleep knowing he's awake. This is a toddler who will find keys, unlock the door and go for a walk in the middle of the night! And I do worry that he won't get enough sleep at night - it can't be good for him playing all night can it?

Last night, He intially woke up just before midnight and by 1.45am I let him get in bed with me for a little while (DH was on a nightshift at work) but after his singing, whispering to his stuffed cow, tossing and turning I was completely over it!

I made sure the front door was locked and secure and hid the key. I jammed the sliding patio door shut with some wood so he couldn't open it (there is no key to lock, just a latch) and I dragged a cupboard in front of the internal garage door. I put him back into bed with threats of dire consequences if he got out of bed before I came to get him in the morning. And fell into a comatose state (knowing that I had to get up for the day in less than 4 hours)

Needless to say he woke up when DH came home (who was making a hell of a racket trying to get inside from garage ...oops!).

As I was driving him to childcare this morning, he says, "I'm a bit tired mummy". Er, no S**T Sherlock!!

So I'm not really asking for advice, I just want to hear that someone else has one of these horrid little nightowls who you love to bits when you're wide awake but who you'd consider putting up for sale (or give away) at 2am!

[Artechim]

My DS did that for ages around that age. We used to stick him in front of a DVD and go back to bed lol. He just sat there watching happily and at some point he would go back to sleep. It would go in bursts where he would do it often for a month or two, then nothing for a few months and then it would happen again. Eventually it just happened less often and for less of a period when it did until he grew out of it.

[Cass72]

See that's what we are hoping for. DS1 is almost 18 and I know that eventually they get over this stage - either that or they become more adept at keeping quiet so they don't wake you!

I just feel like I shouldn't tell people that we are happy for him to play in his room all night, provided he doesn't wake us. One of the carers at childcare said her parents bought a lock for her brother's room when he was that age - it was the only way they could keep him in his room..... they would find him in the morning asleep on the floor. She said he never cried or screamed he just wanted to play so they left him to it. Probably not the recommended approach but hey, they got sleep right?!

[Artechim]

We did try for ages to resettle him/stay up with him etc but I was heavily pregnant and then had a baby to deal with as well. It just got to that point where it wasn't feasible to sit up with him half the night so when he woke with that wide awake chirpy look that plainly stated he wasn't going back to sleep in a hurry then putting him in front of the telly became our best option (he was never a kid to leave the house or get into anything he shouldn't).

I think you have to do what works for your family.

[MumtoA]

Ah, very tiring I bet! If you have an old baby gate it should fit inside a normal doorframe and keep him contained providing he can't open it. We have a dog who is not overly kid friendly at times so when dd went into a big girl bed we would put a gate on her door so that if she got out of bed she couldn't leave her room and go wondering around the house in case the dog was inside. In addition like you said, i was nervous that she would find a way outside and we live in bush area! To be honest it became awesome because we would get a little extra sleep on the weekends when we would sneak in their before going to bed and strategically place her fun toys around the room for her to find in the morning! She would then wake up in the morning and play happily in her room and just call out to us when she was done! Some people have found this a bit weird but at the end of the day I knew she was safe in her room and that was the most important thing to me. She could always open her door and yell out plus I had an old video monitor in her room so I could always check what she was up to.

[MumtoA]

Btw from my response you probably realised that I am a big believer in the importance of parental sleep!!! Nothin wrong with saying that he should play in his room without waking you!!!! Bahahahaha

[Muppity]

We have a close friend with the identical problem. They have had several sleep specialist consultations and apparently it's not unusual at this age to develop night separation anxiety and even if they aren't displaying outward signs of separation anxiety they don't like to sleep because they are away from you.
They are now working on lots of reassurance and she is allowed to come into their bedroom to "check they are still there" whenever she wants during the night (at least that way it is 30 seconds wake for them rather than hours) and it is slowly improving.

It's just something to consider - it might not be a sleep issue as such. Have you tried asking him why he is awake?

[AnyDream]

Ok, lighting is really important re nighttime wakefulness. If you have any lights on at all, keep them really low (eg a 5 watt low-energy bulb with frosted/ambient outer layer) and only use the warm white coloured bulbs (the daylight white bulbs are very blue, and that's the colour that wakes people up). Likewise, if you are going to park him in front of the Telly, turn the brightness way down and adjust the screen colour to more at the red end (low colour temperature) and turn the colour saturation down. It won't stop him from waking but it won't keep him wake so much either.

[Cass72]

Thanks for all your responses.

Muppity, I would say that I'm 99.9% sure that it's not a separation issue. He's always been like this. If he happens to wake up then that's it, he's awake. DH is the same - but will not bother me (well, unless I'm willing to be bothered) and will either go and watch telly or get something to eat. So I guess it's genetics. We are just going to "train" him to stay in his room unless of course he genuinely is hungry, upset or unwell. Most times when he comes into our room I offer him a drink of water and then he goes off back to bed.

MumtoA, the baby gate is a great idea except well, my mum bought us one when he was starting to walk. I think it took him half an hour to work it out and all it did was hinder us in trying to catch the baby! I told my mother it was a waste of money.... I like the idea of the video monitor in the room though. Maybe I should invest in one. That way I can check on what he's up to. Do they have night vision ones? I leave
a couple of wooden puzzles and books in his bedside cupboard. They are never left out but he knows where they are. We often find him sprawled on his bed out to it with a puzzle under his arm and books scattered everywhere.

Marydean, we leave the lights off at night. Just the glow from a moon as there - no street lights - as we are in a rural location. He does have a bedside lamp with a very low wattage. I would prefer to leave it in his room so he can turn it on if he needs to.

Artechim, I'll keep the dvd thing in mind. DS1 learnt how to put a video on at a very young age....It was a rare morning that I didn't wake up to the sounds of "can you feel the love tonight" by Elton John in the Lion King.