Apologies if I have posted this in the incorrect area, I thought this may be the best place for my question
I was wondering when you have, or plan to, stop giving gifts to your nieces and nephews for their birthdays or christmas? Or are you planning on giving them gifts for their whole lives?
My nieces and nephews range in age from 12 to 17. I'm wondering if there's a right time to say, ok, you're a young adult now, no more presents. I'd feel bad doing that, but I'm not sure I want to keep giving them gifts for the rest of their lives either, there are 7 of them, and as you can imagine, the cost of 14 presents each year adds up!
Obviously special birthdays such as 18th's 21st's etc are a completely different story.
DH has 2 first cousins who are aged 21 and 23. We stopped giving them Christmas presents 2 years ago after much debate with my SIL. Birthdays are now only token IF we are invited to celebrate it - eg coffee and cake at their parents. If we are not invited then they don't get a present.
I only have one Neice and one nephew so that wont be an issue for me. I do have 8 cousins though and I am a lot older then them all so I have been buying them Christmas presents and I buy them a birthday present if they are having a party. I have also said that once they are 18 then I am stopping with the Christmas presents, which is 4 of them now. With family and friends all having kids now I have to balance out my growing list of gift buying and this is how it has worked for me.
When I was a kid it just died a mysterious death sometime around the age of 18-20. I think it either gets to the point where they become and adult earning their own money and they reciprocate and it continues or it stops.
When it's everyone getting together and there is a bunch of teenagers around the 12-17 mark in your case it may be tricky though because if you cut it out at a certain age then the older ones would be sitting there with nothing while watching the younger ones open their presents. So I would say either wait until the youngest of that group reaches a certain age or another option is to introduce a secret santa/kris kringle kind of thing for extended family?
My nieces are 13 and 14, my nephews are 4 and a few months. I intend to keep buying them presents indefinitely. Certainly until they are independent adults. My brother and sister get a small birthday present but we only buy for the kids at christmas, this is by mutual agreement.
ETA For christmas could you suggest a family KK? So, if you have 3 kids you pick three names out of a hat and buy three gifts, if you have two kids you pick two names etc. Seven is an awful lot to buy for christmas, although I would still buy them each a birthday present.
I have no intention of stopping giving them gifts. Giving gifts is awesome fun.
My Aunts still send a few things my way and I send things their way when it seems appropriate. My Aunt is called Flora and Gucci has a newish scent called Flora so there is no way that I could go through duty free and not pick up a small bottle for her.
Godchildren we stop at 13 for presents. Haven't had the issue yet with nieces and nephews; will probably be around the same timeframe although they may get to 18 before we stop
When I was growing up we stopped getting gifts somewhere around 16-18. That being said, I have one Aunty who always gave a 'token' gift (ornament, chocolates, small stationary item...). I really appreciated that. I think I will do the same when my nieces and nephews get to around the same age until they stop attending family Christmas gatherings.
For me it is when they turn 18. That also includes friends children who I buy presents for. One of my nephews turns 18 this year, and my friends son turns 18 next year, with my other nephew 18 after that. So from here on in present buying will get a bit lighter until they have children themselves LOL.
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