Settling DS During the Night

[~phyrephly~]

I'm after some ideas, or reassurance, in regards to settling DS at night.

Bit of background: DS has been breastfed and co sleeping with me since birth, he is now 22mths old. A week ago I started nightweaning as I have come to the end of my patience and as I work full time and need some sleep! When he was feeding overnight he would be on and off every half hour or so. My body is sore from laying in the same positions. DS also recently has been diagnosed with eczema and we are waiting on a sepcialist appt with an allergy dr to see what brings it on. We put cortisone cream on him, sorbeline cream, I use Brauers calm drops occasionally and sometimes if his eczema is really bothering him I have to give him phernergan. Not ideal but it helps, only until his first wake up, the drowsiness doesnt seem to effect DS. Anyways...

He has been in a bed for a few months now and I end up in there with him. I usually go into him when he wakes for the first time after he is put down at the beginning of the night. DP puts DS down after he has his last BF in the lounge room. He goes down fairly easily. We have a rhythm/routine in the evenings.

Anyways, when DS stirs, he usually grizzles with his eyes closed. He scratches at his eczema (elbows and behind knees). DUring this time it can take at least 15-20 mintes for him to actually wake. I try and pick him up to cuddle, rock, bounce with him to settle him before he wakes again but he pushes me away, it makes him cry louder still with his eyes closed and he generally squirms around. I have tried leaving him on the bed and waiting for him to wake up more so I can offer him some milk or water but he never seems to get to that point. It's not like a night terror, he has those too. This is every time he wakes which is about every 2 hours at least :/

When I do eventually settle him, after an hour or so, he falls asleep in my arms, I move back into the bed and attempt to lay down with him laying on my chest (me laying on my back). Most of the time laying down wakes him and I have to start again. If laying down doesn't wake him, i have to sleep like that as any attempt to adjust my position wakes him into his crying and the whole thing starts again.

I am finding it hard to be gentle and patient when I am woken every 2 hours by his kicking and crying and anything i do to try and settle him doesnt work. DP doesnt support co sleeping or being gentle, his only suggestion is to leave DS to cry himself to sleep. I dont want to do that but I am getting to my wits end and sometimes i feel i have no other options as nothing i try to settle him works.

I realise that it's early days in terms of night weaning. And that perhaps he isn't ready to night wean. But I have to do something for my sanity. Only what I am doing is making it harder on me I have arranged for mum to have DS on saturday night so i can get a decent nights sleep. I don't know what to do. I don't know how much longer I can go on like this I dread the thought of night time and going to sleep as I know I won't be sleeping.

[chody47]

I may have read this wrong, but when he is stirring is it 15-20 mins for him to wake if you are trying to settle him and he doesn't actually wake if you leave him? (You said if you wait for him to wake for a drink he doesn't get to that point). IF that's the case I wonder if his 'waking' every two hours is just him moving from one sleep cycle to the next. If that's the case I'd just leave him to get into the next cycle on his own. He may be a bit noisy, but you may eventually sleep through it....

[~phyrephly~]

Yep, that's right chody47, when he starts stirring (when his grizzles and cries wake me up) it takes about 15-20 minutes until he is awake enough to offer a drink. When I have left him to try and resettle (while being next to him in bed) it has cried and it escalated and at about 45 minutes I pick him up and wrangle with him to try and settle him I don't like the wrangling.

I think tonight I will try and leave him to get through it himself. See what happens, stay with him but not attempt to settle him.

[chody47]

Oh I thought you were saying he doesn't wake properly if you leave him, thus the suggestion to leave him. I'm not really sure of the best way to go.... How does he go if your DH tries to settle him?

[HotI]

i would try just watchng him to see how he goes. dd moved into her bed around 18 months (after cosleeping from birth). i remember one night hearing her wake but being so tired it took me a little while to get to her. by the time i got there she was calm and asleep again. it was then i realised she was just moving through sleep cycles.

every time that we did go to her, we showed her where he drink bottle of water was, and after awhile she was able to get it herself if she needed a drink.

hope tonight you both get some rest.