14 month old DD wont settle for anyone but me!

[Taurean]

I'm at a loss, have no idea how to tackle this one so please ladies, HELP!!

DD2 is 14.5 months old and very much a mummy's girl. I adore that trait, most of the time, but boy does it suck at bed time! She will not settle for anyone else but me. Not even DH. It's driving me nuts, especially on nights like tonight where I've been trying for 1.5 hrs to get her down and although DH has tried, she just screamed blue murder. This has been going on since about 10 months, maybe earlier.

DD2 was exclusively BF but with regular bottles of EBM, at least one feed a week, since the very early days. She's been drinking cows milk, in a bottle, since 12 months. She was fully weaned from BFing a few weeks after her first birthday.

So basically she won't take a bottle from anyone but me (and she refuses to take milk from a sippy cup from anyone!) and no one else can get her down without a MASSIVE very stressful fight. Oddly enough she'll happily give herself a bottle though but definitely not in her cot. We've tried that, several times, and once again she screams blue murder.

We have a wedding coming up and my parents will be watching our girls for the afternoon and night. I'm not taking DD2, that's just not an option. I'd prefer not to go than take her TBH. Mum and dad have witnessed her antics several times and assure me they'll just work with it but I'm still nervous about it. I hate knowing she'll be either miserable or overtired and wired (if she's up late) and that my parents will have a rough time with her.

Any suggestions? I adore her to bits and know it's just a phase but I desperately need her to be able to relax with others for sleep time. I'd also love a few date nights with DH!!

[~Gee_Whizzy~]

My DD2 was and at times, still is like this, two years on. Not sure if it is practical for you, but when she was your DD's age i used to physically remove myself from the house. I'd go have a coffee or whatever and DH would give her her milk with zero drama. It was a case of out of sight out of mind and DH would always say how 'easy' she was when I wasn't around - not great for my mummy self esteem but at least i know that she can and will settle without me.

[OceanPrincess]

Has anyone else tried without you there? Can you and DH do a practice for the wedding - go somewhere close, local, just for a coffee/drink to see how your parents go?

She might be fine if she knows you are not there - talk to her about it, tell her mummy will be back after she's gone to sleep and will tuck her in and kiss her good night then. Or something?

At least you'll have some idea of whether or not they'll be ok for the wedding.

[OceanPrincess]

Snap GW

[~Gee_Whizzy~]

Snap GW

Great minds and all that

[Taurean]

Thanks girls. She unfortunately plays up whether I'm here or not DH has gotten her to sleep when I'm not here but she won't take her milk no matter how much she wants it and pretty much passes out in his arms from crying so much It's awful!

Mum had her while we were at a wedding interstate mid November (mum went with us) and she played up at bedtime but most happy to stay up late just cruising around. She finally gave in to sleep around 11pm Crazy! We've given mum the ok to do the same again for this upcoming wedding but I know it'll be ordinary for all involved.

I'll ask mum and dad if they can watch the girls this weekend while DH and I go out for dinner locally. We can easily pop home if she's really miserable and it would be good to test her out before the wedding. Thanks for the tip.

I worry about her not taking her milk though too, especially as I know she wants it. When DH tries to settle her, she screams and arches and pushes her bottle away. He hands her to me and she settles immediately THEN snatches the bottle from DH and starts guzzling I'm being played I reckon!

Any other advice would be great but we'll certainly try a test run or two this weekend. I've got a girls night Friday week too so DH will be with her then. We are seeing DH's family (interstate) over Easter so we'll try leaving her with my SILs too.

[~Gee_Whizzy~]

sounds like you have a very clever little Miss there

I think the trial outings you have planned will be your best bet. I know how you feel being anxious about leaving her! She sounds exactly like my DD2. I had to go interstate for 4 days last November and I was so worried about her, but it turned out to be a good thing. She is still very much a mummas girl, but if I'm not around I do know that she will go to other ppl, even if it is sometimes under duress . Good luck hun

[Taurean]

Lol! Yes she is! Annoyingly smart.

Thanks for the advice, I really appreciate it. Fingers crossed we make some progress soon.

[~clover~]

Has your DH just tried turning everything off, except maybe dull light, laying or sitting quietly, sitting the bottle somewhere she can get it & waiting for her to decide she's tired? If everything is off there's nothing to stimulate her & if she decides she wants the bottle, she can get it on her own, rather than trying to make her take it.

DS & DD2 were like that. Now though they are in a very strict routine. DD is in a single bed too. Everyone in our house goes to bed at 8pm. All lights off & I lay with DD2 in her bed. She'll have a drink of milk in her sippy cup (was bottle 2 weeks ago, but we 'lost' it), then hands it to me when she's ready & goes to sleep.
I've made it clear how it works for mum, but she just seems to let them crash when & where they land! Not great for my routine!! It would be way easier on her too if she'd just do as I say :P

DS was easier than DD2 though. Even though DD2 is more independant