How long for friendships to start in kindergarten?

[LoveKnowsNoBounds]

DS has been usually pretty good at making friends in preschool etc. so we are quite surprised and disappointed that so far DS doesn't have a 'friend'.

I'm worried he gets lost in the playground and can't find someone to play with. Or worse if he hasn't gelled with anyone.

Does this happen in time or should it have happened already? He's my first going to school so I can't help but worry sometimes he goes to the library at lunch which is fine I just hope it isn't because he is lonely

[Jaycee]

It's so hard to sit back and watch sometimes, if you're concerned can you have a word with his teacher about it?

Have you spoken to your little man about it?

[~Kim~]

Maybe have a quick word to his teacher SPJ? They're usually pretty approachable and will have either noticed or tried to do something about it.

[black_rose]

Talk to his teacher, it might just be he doesn't know their names yet. We have been in a similar situation its dd's birthday this weekend and it was impossible to know who to invite as she couldn't tell me who she plays with. Her teacher said that she plays with everyone and that only a handful had made close friends which is pretty common.

[LuluHB]

I've had very different experiences with my kids J. Miss I (your little man's age - just different levels of schooling with the differences in state to state laws) is now in Grade 1 and it was only after a full year of kindy and then 3/4s of a year of pre primary that she actualy got to the point of having a really special friend. Before then she just happily played with anyone and everyone. She is still very much like that - she is incredibly social and seems to be generally liked by her classmates.

Miss E on the other hand took a couple of weeks when kindy started last year to really make inroads. She is very shy, anxious and reserved. She then made a very, very tight core group of three that stuck together all through last year's kindy and so far through pre primary this year. The other two are gorgeous children so that's great, but the two girls really depend on each other - if one is away the other is upset. The little boy is not so fussed. They still play with other kids, and Miss E will tell me about Friend A or Friend B but they are definitely peripheral relationships. Again, she is very well liked by everyone but she doesn't seem to notice others particularly.

TBH I much prefer the way Miss I is at this point at least. I don't think its good that they form very strong, dependent relationships so young but it is what it is. I think you'll find that if you speak to your DS's teacher you will probably find that he plays with lots of kids and is doing really well.

[Tinks]

I found in Kinder they flit between friends as they do different activities. They might have a friend they play dress ups with and another friend they play in the sand with, not necessarily one particular friend they play with for the whole session.

[Frangipani Lou]

Some children in my experience take the first half of the year or so to feel comfortable in the new environment. Perhaps talk with his teachers and explain your concerns. He might need some ideas of things to say to get into play scenarios with other children. E.g "my names Tom, lets play with the trains together" or if he sees another child playing Lego "I like Lego too, can I play with you?" Asking for the teachers help to link him or introduce him to other children with the same interests can also help.