Hi everyone
I've been using Belly Belly as a great resource throughout my pregnancy and never thought I would be in this position to need it for further support. My DH and I lost our first little baby two days ago, very unexpectantly after a dream pregnancy and perfect progression and scans throughout our little girls gestation.
We decided to give the hospital a call on Good Friday because our very active darling had been very quiet after moving into position at 37 weeks on Thursday night. These moments are still surreal in my mind. After a number of attempts, we were told the devastating news that the obstetrician could not find a heartbeat and our baby had passed away. I was booked in for an induction on Easter Sunday, and after an amazing birth full of calmness and laughter and peace, our beautiful baby Arla was born sleeping easily and gently, 7 pounds 6 ounces. I had a painless and beautiful birth, and I walked away from the hospital 12 hours later and so far my physical recovery has been amazing. It was her last gift to me, and I am so thankful for it.
I am going through a range of emotions: mostly shock, gratitude, amazement, sadness, grief, appreciation and astonishment that my beautiful pregnancy is over and I don't have my amazing prize at the end who I was looking forward to seeing and meeting so much. I am in shock that I have experienced labour, but not the way it was intended, and that Arla was so gentle on my body and mind throughout the process.
My husband and I are grieving and are finding comfort in reading others stories and feeling like we are not isolated. After such a loss comes offers of support and 'anything you need'...but there is a feeling of utter desperation to hear from anyone who understands our situation, the grief we face now and what is ahead of us, and the shock of a late loss when you think everything is going so well.
We'd love to hear your stories and advice on how you got through it. We need to know there are other people out there that can relate to us and our situation. Thank you in advance, all responses will be welcomed with open arms xxx
Congratulations on bringing your beautiful girl into the world, I'm so sorry she couldn't stay. We're all here if you need to talk.
It sounds like you had a beautiful birth, even if the end result wasn't what you desired. I personally feel better knowing I had a good birth with my son. I'm not sure I'd have coped as well as I did if I'd had a bad birth on top of all that.
Fly free and play among the stars and rainbows, gorgeous Arla
I'm so very sad to read this, but also so touched to read the positives you experienced in a beautiful birth, and your love of your precious Arla, even amongst the heartache of losing her.
I am so sorry to hear you lost your precious Arla.
We lost our Ellen at 41 weeks in very similar circumstances and (allowing for some VERY RUDE hospital staff) I also had a good labour.
I hope you find a way to manage the journey of your life now you are the mother of an angel.
Only very special parents can be angel parents.
Go gently and get support before you think you need it. I recommend Sids and Kids.
Kate
Thank you for sharing your beautiful birth story, I don't have the words to express how sorry I am that you are experiencing such a terrible loss. May your little girl be always with you xxx
Congratulations on birthing your gorgeous little girl Arla, she will always be your first born beautiful little princess watching over mummy and daddy from heaven. We lost our little angel boy Joshua at 21 weeks 4 and a half years ago and we've found great support with SANDS and Sids and Kids. It's a very bitter sweet journey but the memory of your little girl will be tucked away in your heart forever, she will always live on through you. Much love and peace to you and your DH
Congratulations on the birth of your beautiful baby Arla. She has been gifted with a gorgeous name and wonderful parents, who I know love her very very dearly. You are truly amazing and inspirational to achieve a positive and gentle birth under such circumstances. I feel humbled by your resilience and ability to find gratitude in the darkest of moments.
Fly free little Arla, too precious for this earth. A candle burns for your angel and to send strength for you and DH.
Oh I am so sorry that beautiful Arla couldn't stay. What a lovely name. Know that her life, albeit fleeting, was significant and she changed the world just by being here. Hugs and prayers as you continue to work through everything that has just happened. Xo
Summery wow, you are one incredible, intelligent, beautiful woman. Your birth story for little Arla was beautiful, insightful and just precious. She may not walk with you but she journeyed with you for almost 9 months, growing right inside you, right with you, then you birthed her in the way you both deserved. Congratulations. I have no wisdom to offer regarding getting through the coming weeks and months but your story was so lovely I wanted to write.
Congratulations on the birth of your little lady arla and I am so sorry that she is not here with you right now. I am so glad that you had a wonderful birth, it makes a hard time a little sweeter. We lost our daughter at 39 weeks last October. I found so much love and support here from all these wonderful people on belly belly as well as a fantastic group on fb called luminous lights. The experience changes your life forever. I hope the next few weeks and months are gentle on you. Sending you so much love and hugs xoxox
I just reread your post and you asked about advice etc...the best thing I did practically was to accept help with meals and around the house as well as caring for my 2 year old daughter as well - you did just have a baby so there is recovery needed as well as emotionally when all that can get a bit much. I also started seeing a psychologist soon after her funeral with helped. I am generally a fairly blunt (for want of a better word) and honest person and this has helped with my friends and family - if I don't want to do something or I am having a bad day I just tell them rather than trying to avoid the topic of her to much. I hope you have lots of loving friends and family around you at this difficult time. Let them know it's ok to talk about her if that's what you want. I also remind my hubby's mates from time to time to check in with him cos he won't go to them. Recently I felt like some of my friends had moved on so much and forgotten about me because i am certainly not the same person i was 6 months ago but I think I had pushed them away a bit and they all ganged up on me to check it at the same time - good friends don't forget and they won't let you either. Keep in touch with us on here and I hope your day has been as ok and possible xo
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Losing our little girl two days ago
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