3.5 year old dressing & undressing issues

**goddessofdawn** · April 27th, 2013, 03:43 PM

Does anyone have tips for teaching dressing & undressing? DD will be 3.5 yrs in a few days.
She can take off pants and underwear, but not t-shirts/tops.
She does the "last stages" of dressing - e.g. pulls up her pants after I put them on her legs, puts her arms in armholes of t-shirts after I put it over her head.

Just tried this morning to teach her to put on her own t-shirt and didn't get very far - she immediately started crying and became distressed and asked me to do it. She doesn't even want to try

We have been talking about "perservering" lately (her first big word) and she is so proud of herself when she tries and tries and finally masters something. But she seems to be anxious about dressing/undressing for some reason - probably because I have always done it for her (yes, my fault! Maybe if I had more than 1 child I would have less time to help and she would have figured it out by herself already!)

Looking for the best step-by-step techniques for putting on and removing t-shirts/ tops.

**Artechim** · April 27th, 2013, 03:53 PM

I think it is more the kid than parenting. My DD1 is 3.5 and is at about the stage you describe. Meanwhile, my DS was fully dressing himself by 2.5 and my 19 month old makes more of an effort than Miss 3.5. I have no idea how to encourage them to try a bit harder. Mine just starts her brain stem melting screech.

**Tinks** · April 27th, 2013, 03:53 PM

Getting dressed is pretty hard for some kids. Could you both get dressed together so she can see how you do it and copy?

**Arimeh** · April 27th, 2013, 03:59 PM

I definitely think its just a kid thing and how independent they are - ie headstrong!

My dd2 is 3.5 and she can fully dress herself, including socks and shoes.

My dd3 just turned 2 in March and can dress herself, however usually gets t-shirts backwards LOL

My dd1 is more than happy to let me dress her still, she will be 5 in August. She can dress herself but isn't as headstrong and stubborn as the other two so doesn't really have that "I'll do it myself" drive that the other two have.

I say let her do it in her own time, she will get there

**goddessofdawn** · April 27th, 2013, 04:24 PM

Thanks everyone

I say let her do it in her own time, she will get there

I was hoping someone would say that

I guess I haven't really tried to "teach" her because it will happen one day without me doing anything, and let's face it, it's quicker to do it for her! She has NO interest in doing it herself - if she was one of those "do it all by myself" kids I'd be thrilled and let her go for it! But she isn't.

I wasn't worried because I don't know any 10 year olds who can't dress/undress themselves.
But I was reading one of those "milestone" things (should really ignore those) and it made me panic a little.
What about kindy next year? Is it a huge deal if she isn't 100% capable in this area?

**Arimeh** · April 27th, 2013, 04:30 PM

I wouldn't worry too much about kindy, funny thing about kids is that the stuff they usually can't/won't do for you - miraculously they can do for other people

Dd1 is one of the worst kids I know for doing stuff herself, but she never makes my mum dress her - just us.

**~Hestia~** · April 27th, 2013, 05:11 PM

She is doing more than my 3.5 year old! Mine refuses to do anything, he won't even push his feet down when I'm trying to get his shoes on. I'm letting it go for now, he is showing independence in other ways so I'm not bothered, and as you say it is quicker

**Floweryfields** · April 27th, 2013, 05:43 PM

Try getting her to sit on the floor for her undies and pants. Threading one leg at a time and then standing to pull them up.

**lilima** · April 27th, 2013, 05:49 PM

It is definitely the drive from the child. My 4yo is excellent at dressing herself. My 6 yo on the other hand, would still let me dess him given the chance!