Meltdown and 'go away'

[veus]

Hi everyone

I'm trying very hard to be 'gentle'. Have a 19mo DD who is very head strong. Last week or so, she's decided that she just won't come out of the bath. We've tried long bath, short bath, finish bath at what we think is appropriate time , but all we get is a major meltdown. It's just abt winter here and she's basically running around naked & extremely upset (which upsets us terribly). Refusing clothes. Eventually she stops prob out of exhaustion. We've tried holding, reasoning (she's obviously too young for that), letting her, giving her space, distraction. Nothing stops her from this meltdown. It's just so upsetting but I don't know what else to do.

Also she's decided to tell everyone to 'go away'. Sometimes I think it's okay coz she's indicating she wants her own space but most of the time it's hurtful. How do I teach her to say so 'gently'? If any. Usually the 'go away' is also accompanied by physically pushing u away but not necessarily hard.

Any advice thanks!

[Artechim]

Can you try having a shower with her instead of the bath to try to break the meltdown habit? Perhaps after a bit of time away from the bath she won't be as inclined to crack it? Or some bribery treat to get her out of the bath like "Quick, we need to get out of the bath because daddy is falling asleep in the lounge and we should jump on him" (or something that might be considered fun in your house lol - we are simple folk here).

[veus]

Thanks artechim! I will try the shower. She was a bit afraid of the shower for a while. But that might work.

We've tried distractions but she gets Soo worked up by then. Maybe I start with distraction first.

[wysiwyg]

Can you try having a shower with her instead of the bath to try to break the meltdown habit? Perhaps after a bit of time away from the bath she won't be as inclined to crack it? Or some bribery treat to get her out of the bath like "Quick, we need to get out of the bath because daddy is falling asleep in the lounge and we should jump on him" (or something that might be considered fun in your house lol - we are simple folk here).

This is great advice. I am a firm believer in tantrum memory - so they have one once and then when faced with the same situation eg getting out the bath they just do what they did the last time -so breaking the pattern is best way in my opinion. The quick let's jump on daddy thing works well here too - but mine are a little older - but "Stop look at that flying elephant/toilet/whatever particularly interested in " also seems to work well from quite young.

[HotI]

A timer sometimes works here. Set the timer on your phone or use an egg timer and show the child. OK, we have 3 mins left, and then we have to get out. Once they are verbal, you can try 'should we do 3 or 4 minutes.

A fave towel all warmed up sometimes is incentive to get out.

the 'go away' doesn't last forever, talk about different ways you can say it.

[veus]

Thank you ladies! We're gonna do shower tonight. :-) will let u know how it goes.

[Arcadia]

We used to bath dd in the morning for a while because she would just be tired and grumpy by bath time at night. It was enough to break the habit and we could bath her again at night again before long.

[veus]

Thanks arcadia!

So update we had a shower tonight. No tantrum!! Woohoo! Thank you!! It was like a 'treat'. Might do a few more before we go back to bath. Thank you all!