thread: Gossiping

  1. #1
    Registered User

    May 2006
    Igglepiggle Land
    2,742

    Gossiping

    Hey everyone,

    2013 has been quite a year of reflection and growth for me.

    Continuing on my 'journey'; one thing I'm keen to achieve is to stop partaking in gossiping.

    I'm not even sure if gossiping is the right word.

    What are your thoughts on gossiping?
    Is gossiping only negative - or can it be positive?
    If it is positive talk about another person is it gossiping?
    When you hear gossip can you help yourself but pass it on?
    Have you heard gossip about a friend and let them know / confronted them about it?

    I work at a few places and I always try and look to peoples positives, but often I hear the gossip and I try to remain as neutral as possible, but sometimes it just sucks me in like a Dyson and I say more than I'd like too. It's like a pringle - once I pop I can't stop :-(. But upon walking away I'm very aware that I said more than I'd intended and feel quite disappointed in myself.

    Any recovering gossip-holics out there care to share how you ceased?

    x

  2. #2
    Registered User

    Oct 2006
    Adelaide, SA
    3,962

    Hi hun,

    To me, gossipping is a negative term. Positive "gossiping" is not gossipig, it is simply sharing someone else's good news, and I only do this if I know that the good news is public knowledge. If you're talking positively about someone else, I don't believe it's gossiping at all.

    If I hear negative gossip, I'll be honest, in some situations it is certainly interesting to hear, but I don't feel the need to go running and spread that gossip elsewhere. Sometimes gossip can be mistaken for venting too, so you do need to be careful, if you think you're just venting, someone else may think you're gossiping, and you may find yourself in all sorts of strife - does that make sense?

    If I hear gossip about a close friend, and I feel that our friendship is strong enough to bring it up, I probably would. If they are just an acquaintance I'd probably leave it alone.

    Hope that helps

  3. #3
    Registered User
    Add STARRYSKY on Facebook Follow STARRYSKY On Twitter

    Aug 2007
    adelaide
    1,989

    I posted this a little while ago and really do try to remember it...

    Just recently I have been suffering from foot in mouth quite a bit...
    A friend of mine just posted this on FB and I thought I would share as I do find it quite apt at the moment


    Keep this philosophy in mind the next time you either hear or are about to repeat a rumor.

    In ancient Greece (469 – 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom.

    One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance who ran up to him excitedly and said, “Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students?”

    “Wait a moment,” Socrates replied. “Before you tell me I’d like you to pass a little test. It’s called the Triple Filter Test.”

    “Triple filter?” asked the acquaintance.

    “That’s right,” Socrates continued. “Before you talk to me about my student let’s take a moment to filter what you’re going to say. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?”

    “No,” the man said, “actually I just heard about it.”

    “All right,” said Socrates. “So you don’t really know if it’s true or not. Now let’s try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my student something good?”

    “No, on the contrary …”

    “So,” Socrates continued, “you want to tell me something bad about
    him, even though you’re not certain it’s true?”

    The man shrugged, a little embarrassed. Socrates continued. “You may still pass the test though, because there is a third filter – the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my student going to be useful to me?”

    “No, not really…”

    “Well,” concluded Socrates, “if what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even Useful, why tell it to me at all?”

  4. #4

    Feb 2008
    With my awesome cherubs
    2,975

    To me gossiping is negative it is usually not based on fact and the person being gossiped about is usually not asked about the facts and things gets twisted person to person

  5. #5
    Registered User

    Dec 2008
    8,986

    I was talking about this with a friend the other day. I think everyone has gossiped at some point or another and you're definitely not alone in walking away from conversation thinking you've said too much. Gossiping can be good and bad, as long as you're not being disrespectful the person being discussed and wouldn't feel uncomfortable with them knowing what you've said about them then there shouldn't be a problem.