Visual imperfections? Birth marks

[Beatrix]

Ok now please don't judge me I feel horrible for thinking this way already..

So my daughter 4months has a compound hemangioma (strawberry birth mark that's above and below the skin)

It started as a tiny pin ***** at 2 weeks and in the last 14 weeks has grown to be the size of a golf ball lump under her skin. It's on her back/shoulder near her neck. And I have been told (she sees a specialist to make sure its ok as technically its a blood vessel tumor but they are benign) it will keep growing til she is about 2, so no idea how big it will get it looks like a huge bruise and lump.

At the moment being winter I can hide it but I am dreading summer where it will become visible to people and there comments and looks. Plus the fact it doesn't look like a normal strawberry mark, it looks like a bruise, a huge bruise.

After 2 they generally begin to shrink and have normally completely disappeared by they hit their teens if not my specialist will look into cosmetic options of removal.

I hate seeing this mark on my baby girl.

[Teeki]

Oh that wouldn't be nice I would hope that people won't judge or say anything, and hopefully it doesn't get very big them goes away quickly.

I kind of get your worry, I have a birth mark too, but it's not a lump. It's just on the skin and it's brown. But it's on my butt. So I'm glad that it's not out for everyone to see, but at school I was conscious of getting changed in group change rooms, and then there was the issue of new guys who might eventually see me naked - didn't want them thinking it was poop!

I don't really have any advice, except that when she's older I wouldn't draw your DDs attention to it. Dress her how you like when it's hot, and those that matter will know what it is and won't care

[Dot Face]

I'm surely not alone in thinking of birth marks as something completely normal and natural and very silly for anybody to judge.
My husband has a birth mark like the one you described your dd to have and in the same spot, I've never judged him for it and he doesn't think anything of it either. To me a birth mark is like a beauty spot or freckles. It's there and not everyone has it but it's completely normal and nothing wrong with it.
I personally wouldn't even bother removing a birth mark on my child if it was visible to others and lasted into their older years. It's how they were born and if anyone judges them for how they were born then that's their problem not mine.

[nickle730]

My GF's DS had an haemangioma in the same spot and it was very large. It began at about 2 weeks of age, grew until he was about 3 then began to shrink and fade. He is 8 now and it has gone completely, you can just see a very slight discolouration if you look hard for it.

I get where you are coming from - I think it's not so much the blemish itself as the fact that people might be rude toward you bubba! Try to ignore them, if they are so rude and judgemental they are not worth bothering with!

As an aside, my GF took her DS for professional photos when he was about 2. They photoshopped the blemish out - without asking her! She was horrified, as I would have been!!

[Frangipani Lou]

As you know my DD has a hemangioma but its been treated and has shrunk and is in her nappy area.
I have a big birthmark on my back. It's pink and about the size of my palm in the shape of Italy and Sicily.
I grew up believing it was something special, Something unique to me.
I wonder if anyone says something, that you could have some answers ready that are framed in a positive and informative way.

E.g "yes it's DD's special birthmark."

[surprised]

If someone says something, tell them that unlike their manners it's expected to improve with time

[~clover~]

... and then there was the issue of new guys who might eventually see me naked - didn't want them thinking it was poop!

DD3 has a birthmark on her inner thigh. Just a normal brown one that is growing with her, but when she was tiny it was right in the crease of her thigh & I honestly though it was a poo stain. I tried so hard to clean it off...

[~clover~]

... and then there was the issue of new guys who might eventually see me naked - didn't want them thinking it was poop!

DD3 has a birthmark on her inner thigh. Just a normal brown one that is growing with her, but when she was tiny it was right in the crease of her thigh & I honestly though it was a poo stain. I tried so hard to clean it off...

[Teeki]

Lol Clover, my Nana gave me a bath when I was a baby and my Mum came in when I wouldn't stop crying. Turns out Nana had scrubbed my butt red raw trying get the "poo" off!

[Seven Oaks]

I would not worry about what other people think or say, although it's in an awkward spot. A friends daughter has quite a big one on her forehead that shrank and move into her hairline by 8 years old. My daughter has one or a cluster of them behind her ear. It started as dots also, I thought it was a heat rash at first as she was born in feb. I've only been told to worry about it if it bleeds or looks crusty, you could have it removed when she is older if it was still a major concern for you or her. I bet she is just beautiful so no-one will even notice.

[Tinks]

I have a red birthmark on my face and no one has ever mentioned it to me. Not even at school. Chances ate she will be fine with it. However, if you keep mentioning it to her she will be more conscious of it.

[raffy]

DD3 has a birthmark on her inner thigh. Just a normal brown one that is growing with her, but when she was tiny it was right in the crease of her thigh & I honestly though it was a poo stain. I tried so hard to clean it off...

Ds2 has a normal brown one on his calf and when he was little I always thought a bit of poo has come out his nappy! Now he's up and walking you can notice it even more but it clearly looks like a birth mark.

My second cousin had one like you are describing but it was in the middle of her forehead, she's now 5 and it is completely gone but they did have a lot of people ask about it

[RhiChiChi]

My DD has two haemangiomas - one on her nose, sort of under the nostril and one large blotchy one on her leg. We have had laser on the one on her face earlier this year with a little success. She had to have a light, general anesthetic at the Royal Childrens Hospital for the proceedure and seeing her in recovery and all the woo har leading up to the surgery (early submission, her having to fast, then waiting around for the proceedure) we have opted not to bother with anymore. The specialist has no idea how many attempts it may take and there is a small percentage that it won't work. Most haemangiomas do go away on their own.

I was really concerned about my DD starting school this year with the haemangiomas visible, particularly the one on the leg, the one on the face is sort of shadowed by her nose. My DD has had no problems with teasing - some kids ask what it is and she just shrugs it off and says it's a 'birthmark'. We have always just made no fuss about it and she takes it in her stride.

I personally haven't had any judgements, most people ask or a few have thought my DD had a blood nose.

The main issue for me was the one on the face as it can interfere with development of the sense - in my DD case smell. Whilst they might not look large on top, it is the underneath of the haemangioma that can be the issue.

Same as nickle - a professional photographer photoshopped my DD's one on her face out - ****ed me off to no end.