thread: Actual fear of sleep?

  1. #1
    Registered User

    Jan 2011
    Perth
    3,268

    Actual fear of sleep?

    As I write this it's 9:45pm. we put almost 18 month old DD to bed at 7:30, after a nice bath, bottle or BF (she's striking as I'm pregnant so lately it's a bottle of warm milk), and story.

    For the past few weeks she has fought her big sleep (and this week, her one day nap too) with absolute passion. The moment we go to put her down she loses her marbles (screaming, crying) and the next few hours is spent trying to settle her, trying to calm her, we often end up getting her up for a break, only for the cycle to repeat the moment we go to put her down again. I say we but really it's me because DD won't have a bar of DH putting her down at night or even trying to soothe her if she's upset. So he cleans up the stress vomit (yes that also happens, not every time) while I sit with her and cuddle her. It's gotten to the point where she knows when she's nearing the end of a favourite book and that it means bed is imminent as she will try to turn to previous pages to avoid the story ending. When we get her up and bring her into the living room or even just sit with her quietly in her room she is fine- she's immediately smiling and wanting to explore and play.

    What is curious is that tonight among many other unsuccessful attempts at suggesting bed was a good idea I told her that mama was tired too and I was going to go to sleep. I had a blanket and cuddled her and said sleepy time- ni-ni! Then closed my eyes as though to go to sleep and she absolutely lost it. She sat down and cried her eyes out! She was truly heartbroken. Could it be that she is actually afraid of sleep? Her reaction to me 'sleeping' spun me out!

    BTW these are the little tricks that used to work in the past if she wasn't going down easily-

    Offer of extra BF
    Offer of water
    Offer of cows milk
    Putting small book in bed with her
    Leaving the hall light on
    Playing her musical sea horse
    Dummy
    Favourite panda
    Favourite Elmo
    Talking to her from the other room (we are in a small house) so she knows we're still here
    Cuddling out of cot
    Stroking/patting while in cot

    None of these work now. I've just put her down for the third time tonight and she's quiet in her bed but I can hear her occasionally whimpering and sniffing. It breaks my heart! And also frustrates me no end! But to keep her up or even sit with her in her room doesn't work as she just wants to play.

    I'm flummoxed! And I want to go to bed myself!

  2. #2
    Registered User

    Jan 2011
    Perth
    3,268

    *bump*

    Anyone else going through this with their 1 and a half year old?

  3. #3
    Registered User

    Apr 2009
    Epping, VIC
    2,546

    Perhaps look at starting her bedtime routine half hour earlier or half hour later?
    She may be overtired, or not tired yet.

  4. #4
    Registered User

    Mar 2011
    queensland
    696

    i have no advice LL but i am actually kind of going through this with out little one as well. Not as bad as with your DD but my DS is also crying when he goes to bed at night. In the past we have always put him to bed awake but he has always been happy to go to sleep. For the past week he has been crying when i leave the room. It only lasts for a few minutes but it is so strange compared to what he used to do. We leave him in their cuz it is just made worse if we go in and try and pat him (i think it over stimulates him).

    He is also screaming out at about 5am for about three seconds and then falling back to sleep (? no idea why!)

    Hugs - i have no advice at all.. just thought it might help to know it is happening here as well!

  5. #5
    Registered User

    Jan 2011
    Perth
    3,268

    AG they are puzzling little things aren't they?!

    Emma yes I think it's an over or under tired thing, last night we kept her up an extra 15 minutes with quiet time after her bath but before the milk and bed bit. I THOUGHT it was going to work well as shortly before we put her down I said to her, it's almost sleepy time now, are you ready for bed? And she toddled on over to me, grabbed my hand and waved goodnight to Daddy! But then the moment milk and story were over and she was in the cot she was hysterical. I think she sees her sleepy time routine as special mama time which is why she was so eager to go to bed and wave off Daddy, but when she realises I'm not staying in there after I put her down she loses it!

  6. #6
    2014 BellyBelly RAK Recipient.

    Mar 2008
    Vic
    4,806

    She might hate the cot. DD1 got to an age that even asleep, she would tense and start crying if we went anywhere near it. As soon as we took the sides off, she was better.

  7. #7
    Registered User

    Jan 2011
    Perth
    3,268

    Ah interesting! Not sure how I'd deal with my cheeky monkey constantly climbing out of bed in the night though! It is like baby jail when she's in there and protesting- she presses her face into the space between the bars with tears rolling down her chubby cheeks and her hands dangling out!

  8. #8
    Registered User

    Mar 2011
    queensland
    696

    Pakrak I thought that might be our issue as well with DS but we have an overseas trip coming up in October and he will need to be in a porta cot so don't want to move him before then... But then once we get back it will be into a bed as we have #2 due feb so want him use to it by then.

  9. #9
    Registered User

    Jan 2011
    Perth
    3,268

    Well Madame refused to go down at all for our nanny today. I don't get it. While her nighttime issues have been going in for a few weeks she has until recently been perfect during the day- falling asleep within minutes of me putting her down. not anymore. So tonight I thought she must surely go down ok as she hasn't napped at all! We put her down half an hour earlier and she wanted to protest- when we finished the last page of her book she stiffened and protested but was so tired she fell asleep straight away.... Only to wake up an hour later crying!

    She does have a bad cold so I think that's upsetting things more this week but she hasn't been at all sick previous to last week.