email Etiquette....

[tofu]

What is the email Etiquette in this situation? I emailed my friend (she never really emails me).....but on this occasion she emailed me back. This time she asked how my mum was doing. Now(she didn't know this previously but my mum is quite ill). I emailed her back last week to let her know how my mum is doing and what she has gone through. She never emailed me back. Should she email me back as she asked me about my mum or does she not need to email now that she has the details?

[Tinks]

Did you just answer her questions or try to make conversation by showing interest in her? She might not know what to write back. It could just be that she's busy and hasn't had time to sit down and write a proper reply.

[tofu]

I asked her how she was doing and how her family were going? I had not spoken to her in a while. She asked about my mum, (she has never done that before) but yes, probably busy. I guess I was happy that she had asked about my family seeing she has never done before.

[black_rose]

You emailed her, she responded asking about your mum, you replied back that's about normal especially if you don't always email backwards and forwards.

[peanutter]

I think you have answered your own question in your initial post:

I emailed my friend (she never really emails me).....but on this occasion she emailed me back.

The status quo is, from what you say, that she rarely emails you, and that it was unusual for her to have emailed you back in the first place.

Not emailing you back again just sounds like she has returned to the status quo.

Be glad that she asked after your mother in the first place, given that's unusual.


tofu, your posts are all along the same lines from what I can see.

Stop having expectations on what your family and friends should or shouldn't be doing. You'll be a lot happier for it. People only disappoint us when they don't live up to our expectations. So remove your expectations.

Go make some new friends, or get a hobby to occupy your time. Get outside, get some sunshine, have a walk, go to the library and borrow a bunch of books.

Step away from the situations that are giving you so much grief.

You will be much happier for it.

[LimeSlice]

You know, you quite fascinate me.

This borderline unhealthy obsession you have with trying to make all the pegs in your life fit into your perfectly molded round holes, then becoming quite unsettled when you realise that nobody else can see the holes you are trying to force them into.

I'm not quite sure why you believe, or where you got this idea, that all the people of the world are all working from your guidebook on How To Live Life The Right Way, but I truly think that you need to do something crazy and allow yourself to get out of control a bit.

All of what PN said, but further. Harder.

Run naked down your street at midnight.
Turn your radio up really, really loud and sing along to glam rock classics.
Tell a random stranger than they have nice shoes.
Book a manicure and don't show up.
Go and buy yourself a bright red dress and wear it to the supermarket.

There is not a right way and a wrong way to do every little thing in the world.
There is no such things "email etiquette".
There is no single ordained way to acknowledge a gift. Or a phone call. Or a letter.
There is no rule that says people have to behave the way that makes you feel in control.

Get
Out
Of
Control
And
Find
Life.

[PumpkinZulu]

There's so much more to life Tofu, come on.

[2CheekyMonkeys]

Umm, I think tofu might have got a bit more than she bargained for with these replies.

[black_rose]

It's the ongoing theme 2cm that's why people have pointed out there is more to life than if someone should reply to an email or thank someone for a gift etc.

[peanutter]

Check out the last 24 threads she's started.

We're trying to help.

[tofu]

hey that's ok - point taken.....
I do like this -

Run naked down your street at midnight.
Turn your radio up really, really loud and sing along to glam rock classics.
Tell a random stranger than they have nice shoes.
Book a manicure and don't show up.
Go and buy yourself a bright red dress and wear it to the supermarket.

There is not a right way and a wrong way to do every little thing in the world.
There is no such things "email etiquette".
There is no single ordained way to acknowledge a gift. Or a phone call. Or a letter.
There is no rule that says people have to behave the way that makes you feel in control.

Get
Out
Of
Control
And
Find
Life.

I wrote a poem for a competition and won and my prize was delivered today - $50 Shopping voucher. I spent some time with the poem and won and just entered another poem online today....thanks again for the replies. This is a life etiquette forum isn't it?

[meow]

Honestly, I can see the points being made to you here... but in your defense I do understand your hurt.

I know when I pour out our situation to a friend I start to feel antsy about a response. If I can see they've been on FB for example but they haven't replied part of me feels hurt, like "this is a REALLY BIG DEAL to me and it would help if you could at least just acknowledge that with a quick reply". But I always talk myself down because I know I have good friends and they would never intend to hurt me. Their delay in replying is usually due to the gravity of the topic and their desire to give it a thoughtful response so they put it off till they have more time. Due to this I've learnt to only share the bigger stuff when you're going to get an instant response (face-to-face, phone call, even an online chat) or else only when you're not in a vulnerable state and you can live without the instant acknowledgement.

So given your history with this friend and the randomness of your email contact I don't think her etiquette is out of line. I think you need to accept the mode of communication and manage your own level of sharing and expectations for a response.