My 3.5 yr old DS deliberately doing naughty things.

[AmberWood]

Hi everyone! I'm new to this forum and would appreciate your help. My DS is 3.5 years old. At times, he deliberately does naughty things. Like today, he deliberately urinated on the floor. Sometimes, he will put the toilet roll in the toilet. So, how do I handle it when he does stuff like that? I try to practice gentle parenting techniques and am still learning, so would appreciate ideas on what you would do when your child deliberately does naughty things. So far, when he has urinated on the floor, I get him to help clean it up and explain that toilets are made for weeing in and weeing on the floor is yucky. Or toilet rolls can block the toilet etc. But he still seems to do it. And I find it really frustrating. Any ideas?

[black_rose]

We went through this kind of destructive behaviour with dd2, she is now 4.5 and for the most part has outgrown it. For her it was about testing her boundaries and getting my attention, she is the middle child. We quickly found out that rewards worked better than punishment. So she would get to go to the park at the end of the day or use play dough or bake cookies etc for each day that she hadn't misbehaved. I found that if she got one on one time she was much better. It sounds like you have the right approach with the gentle parenting.

[AmberWood]

Thanks for you reply black_rose.

[Shanti]

I think as long as you don't react when he does things like that, as then he's only receiving 'negative attention' and kids will take any attention. Sticker chart for good behaviour, focusing on positive behaviours is the best way and like you are doing, make him help you clean it up too (without too much fuss from you) just go "ok so now we need to clean this up, remember, we do wee's on the toilet only as you're such a big boy now" etc....

[JLeigh29]

I agree with Shanti...always focus on the positive. The clean up should just be matter of fact, no big deal, the same as you'd expect him to clean up a non-deliberate mess he's made. Put the toilet rolls out of reach! Maybe also let him know that if he keeps putting toilet rolls in the toilet, you'll have to take it away and he'll only get two sheets next time he wants to go to the toilet...? (So, just leave two sheets out with no roll). Can you see it coming? ie is he upset about something else, tired, hungry, looking for attention etc? If so, can you head it off with distraction? Lots of positive time spent together helps here too.

[AmberWood]

Thanks for you input. I guess I need to make sure I don't react too much. I do try to keep toilet rollout of reach but sometimes I forget! Haven't seen a pattern as to why he does these things, but will try to monitor more closely.