Wedding gift etiquette?

**Beatrix** · November 27th, 2013, 04:29 PM

Ok so I have a wedding to attend on Friday and they haven't specified anything but most people have assumed wishing well due to the fact that they have been together for 12 years.

I have brought them a personalised item which I KNOW 100% she will love as she has been waiting forever to be called Mrs Smith.

Is it wrong for me to ask her to open the gift in front of me so I can see her reaction?

**Tinks** · November 27th, 2013, 04:33 PM

If you want her to open it in front of you, organise a time to visit them to give them the present. I don't think it's appropriate to ask her to open it in front of you at the wedding.

**Doing my best** · November 27th, 2013, 04:39 PM

If you are going to still be there late into the reception, I would ask her then. Every wedding I have been to, things have been much more relaxed and social after the 1st dance, and cake cutting, so I assume most are like that?

If you think there aren't going to be a lot of gifts, then I don't think it is inappropriate.. I wouldn't ask if there are lots of gifts and others then might feel left out and want theirs opened too..

**Beatrix** · November 27th, 2013, 04:45 PM

I guess I will see how the vibe is on the night... But yes I do think there may be only a couple of gifts.

**~*familyof3*~** · November 27th, 2013, 05:35 PM

I too would see how it is on the night. DH and i disnt open any untill we were back in our hotel, and loved that we could do it together.

**peanutter** · November 27th, 2013, 05:37 PM

Towards the end of the night it should be fine - but obviously don't press it, if she's not keen on doing it then.

I hope you get exactly the reaction you're after!!

**Chocaholic** · November 27th, 2013, 05:47 PM

Most weddings I have been to, the bridesmaids and maid of honour opened the presents and wrote the present on the card attached so the bride and groom knew who it was from.

I was too busy socialising and catching up with interstate visitors to open presents at my wedding.

**OceanPrincess** · November 27th, 2013, 05:58 PM

Most weddings I have been to, the bridesmaids and maid of honour opened the presents and wrote the present on the card attached so the bride and groom knew who it was from.

I was too busy socialising and catching up with interstate visitors to open presents at my wedding.

Really????? Oh my goodness - opening the presents was so much fun, we did half the morning after at the recovery BBQ and the rest when we got home from our honeymoon, I would have been devastated if my sister (MOH and only bridesmaid) had done it instead!

Sorry, off topic Beatrix - I would ask at the end, I would have been happy to open something special at my wedding

**Liviam** · November 27th, 2013, 07:29 PM

I don't believe the wedding reception is the right place to do it.

I agree that you should make a time before or after the wedding to take their present too them.

**Beautiful Disaster** · November 27th, 2013, 07:42 PM

I didn't open any if ours until the next day.

I'm not a fan of opening gifts in front of people

**peanutter** · November 27th, 2013, 07:48 PM

One thing I gave my baby bro and his wife for their wedding was a huge (and I mean HUGE - A1 or A2 size or something ) collage of photos of them, from throughout their relationship. I'd spent months on it, picking the perfect photos, painstakingly cutting them out, arranging and rearranging the placement of them, getting the perfect frame, etc ...

I was way too excited to not see them see it - so I got them to go open it during the reception. They understood my excitement (because they know me!) and they obliged, and I was so happy they did

Obviously the giving of presents isn't about the giver but the recipient, but they were gracious about it, and happy to share their joy, ITMS.

I would never do that for a standard gift or money or anything, but something special, personal, etc, where you really want to see their reaction, I think that's fine - as long as you get a good moment, and not when they're on a clock in terms of speeches and first waltz and all that jazz.

And of course, if they were resisting, I'd drop it - it's their day.

But not a chance re the opening gifts by the attendants!! I've never heard of that, and never done it in any of the weddings I've been involved in! Though most of the time one of the things the groomsmen have been in charge of has been getting all the gifts to their home

Each to their own, I suppose.

**feeb** · November 28th, 2013, 07:01 AM

If you get a chance during the night then could ask , but weddings always do full on busy and short time frame may not get a chance. If resistance I would drop it and not push issue.
Could you give it to her a day or so before wedding?? Or after wedding???

We didn't open presents until the next day after we went back to reception centre to pick them all up and take back to where we were staying! Very strange to hear bridal party opening.

**black_rose** · November 28th, 2013, 07:37 AM

Weddings are always really hectic for the bridal party usually they have a timeline to follow and the bride and groom want to talk to everyone so I doubt that there would be time? So maybe call her and ask if you can have a quick catch up beforehand as you would love to be with her when she opens your gift.

**Haylz Elliott** · November 28th, 2013, 08:10 AM

I wouldn't ask her to open it on the night, we had a few people drop by our house with their gifts in the couple of weeks leading up to the wedding which was nice and I opened them in front of them then.