Official Police complaint made against DD12

[diannescruffy]

A Police Constable came to my house this afternoon to inform me that a complaint has been made against my daughter for bullying. The specific incident was that my daughter excluded her from a dance group. The complaint was made by the mother of the girl who has been bullying DD for the past two years. I'm still quite confused and in disbelief. The Constable had already been to the school and came to get my story. By the end of the conversation he said to me (insert girls name) is far from a victim, which tells me he was satisfied with what the school and myself told him. I'm totally confused because I havn't heard of any issue happening about a dance group and the school do not put the two girls together in any form of group. I tried to seek some clarity from DD's class teacher, she wasn't 100% certain but she seems to think it was regarding my DD's Dance birthday party last year back in May, over 18 mths ago . I have an appointment to see the Principal tomorrow morning, this is just getting absolutely ridiculous. I had not long arrived back from the High School DD is attending next year because the other girl is also attending there. Requests were made by DD's teacher for the girls not to be in the same class and she had suggested for me to let them know of the past history between the girls. I hope this has made some sense because my head is all over the place at the moment, just needed to get it out. Thanks for reading.

Regards,
Dianne

[Arcadia]

Sending hugs. I think there is something awry with that other girl and her family.

[diannescruffy]

Definately, I've been verbally abused by the mother and received abusive txts which I showed the principal at the time, thank goodness. It's a little scary to think she's done this, what next? Thanks for the hugs, really need them.

Regards,
Dianne

[~*familyof3*~]

18months ago are they kidding? I would be fuming. Ild also look into what you can do in terms of i would feel that them making a complaint is now nearing on harrasment based on the history!
What a joke.

[~*familyof3*~]

It seems as though the mother is trying to bully you

[diannescruffy]

It seems as though the mother is trying to bully you

Exactly my thoughts too, it seems it not between the girls anymore, it's between the mums and the harrassment came to mind also.

Regards,
Dianne

[Mother Goose]

I didn't even know you COULD take schoolyard bullying to the police! I must be in a bubble!!! But perhaps you should lodge a complaint about this other girl...

Huge hugs. I hope your family gets a break soon xo

[diannescruffy]

The Principal has confirmed to me that the complaint was made about my DD's party in May last year. Her classroom teacher remembers the dramas DD had leading up to the party and because of the dramas he wanted feedback on how it went which I told him on the Monday morning. I'm at a complete loss as to why an official complaint was made about an incident that happened over 18mths ago against a 12yr old girl in her own home.

Regards,
Dianne

[little_O]

This just doesn't make sense. What could the mother even be thinking?? 18 months ago is ridiculous and I would hardly see it as police complaint unless it was an extreme bullying case (ie violence, fear of life etc).

What is this mother even teaching her child??

[Tinks]

Is there another high school you could send your DD to?

[AnyDream]

That's just freaking bizarre. You need to be writing all of this down (so you have a record of times, dates, etc) and also if you have any evidence of the texts etc that she sent, try to make some backup copies of their content, when they were sent and the phone number they came from (photos of your phone if nothing else). I would also be requesting copies of the any of the police documents (if any) relating to the complaint that was made, to ensure that the officer's conclusions have been documented.

[diannescruffy]

I will be contacting the Constable today as I would like a copy of the final report which I will give a copy also to the High School because I'm sure she's already let the school know that my DD is so bad that they needed to take it to the police. This is the weirdest part, this woman has known full well that DD would be going to this certain High School because she knows my boys went there and the school is in my zone, a 5min walk away. They live on the other side of town, the school is not in their zone. I'd kept the abusive txt for over a year but unfortunately lost my phone, the principal told me this morning that she has been abused and sworn at by this mum and has told the Constable everything, I really feel I have the schools full support about this issue, thank goodness. I'm still finding all this so hard to process because quite honestly still can't believe this is happening.

Regards,
Dianne

[Smoke Jaguar]

OK, I reckon you could even get an order against this woman - probably best to get in first, for peace of mind, because it sounds like this would be HER exact next step.
The police will have the principal's report to back up the abuse stories.
All of this you could then supply to the new school as evidence that the girls be kept apart (or the girl moved on, though the probably don't have any power to do that, and would also penalise the girl who seems to be her mother's pawn in all of this).
You don't have to have your phone as the phone carrier will be able to retrieve this text message info, even if it costs a bit.
Peace of mind, dianne - you will have to get ahead in this 'game' of hers and cover your bases with the police AND the new school. Keep using logic, as there's no point trying to figure out where this woman is coming from xxx

[~*familyof3*~]

I have to agree, I would strongly urge you to look into some kind of protective action. What she is doing is harassment. With the schools back up and the fact the the mother has also abused them I would think you have some sort of grounds. And if you can get one taking it to the new school I would dare say the other girl would have to go to another school one in her Zone!!!

This has frustrated me and Im not even involved so I can only imagine how you are all feeling. So is her complaint that your daughter didn't invite her to her private bday party? Cause if that's the case Im dumbfounded!

[Pretty In Pink]

Hi Dianne I agree with the other ladies I would definitely be looking at getting some sort of court order to protect yourself and your daughter. That way perhaps the school for next year can be aware and maybe move the girl on to another school in her own zone.
Best of luck

[diannescruffy]

You're so right, I need to stop figuring her out and I truly do feel like I need to be a step ahead and not take any precautions. My daughter invited this girl to her party at our house and she came. This girl caused trouble in my home on my daughters birthday party, she had two guests in tears, she segregated girls etc, it's a long story. Up until that point I'd never spoken to the mum about the issues the girls were having at school, I dealt directly with the school myself. When the girls father picked her up I told him what had happened as it happened in my home on my daughters birthday, there was no way I wasn't going to say anything. That evening is when I received the abusive txt from the mum. I've been in contact with the Constable and there will be no report as no charges are being layed. I expressed some concerns that I have for next year, I explained in full detail the exact events that occurred on my DD's birthday and I feel that the parents need to know this. He asked me if I would like him to go see them and have a talk to them, I was so relieved to hear this and off course agreed. He also said he has a good repore with the High School and he will also talk to the campus principal, which is great. I feel I really need to think about an Intervention Order possibly, sounds so crazy but if that's whats needed I wont hesitate at all. Thank you all for listening, my head is all over the place and it's good to get it all out in here xx.

Regards,
Dianne

[~*familyof3*~]

That's great news! Good to know the Constable is onto it.And is going to have a word to them, I hope it doesn't make the mum more stupid. And awesome that he knows the school and is going to talk to them, this way the other mum cant string a web of lies first.

[Smoke Jaguar]

You have listed every good reason to take out an order. If you feel unsafe receiving text messages or sending your daughter to school (if she's being targeted then this is, indeed, the case), and know that she's willing to make spurious claims against you and members of your family then you have grounds to file for an order - that is exactly what they are there for. Taking out an order isn't crazy, it's the person you're taking the order out against is crazy!
She hasn't laid charges because her 'charge' is ridiculous. You now have grounds for action, and had them since the messages started.
I do feel for her daughter, who is being used by her mother and now being trained in anti-social behaviours, and it's more important than pity that you protect yourself - particularly if the constable will back you on it.
You did everything reasonable from the word go. You took an issue that happened outside of school to her parents and they were unreasonable in their response. All the stuff that happens in school you handled correctly - many school policies, and I assume it might be in your school's, exhort parents to deal directly with the school and not with other kids or their families. Going to parents is tricky - even ones you get along with. So, just keep doing what you're doing and go that extra mile to protect yourselves.
You're on the right track