Sleep

[little_O]

Read an interesting quote at my ob visit today on their information board:

Unrealistic expectations cause sleep problems, not babies.

Must try and remember this when this baby is out

[PumpkinZulu]

That's great, and 100% true.

[onthefly]

Yeah, parents have sleep problems, babies almost never do.

[Arcadia]

Yes! But every parent gets a shock with their first. I think it's because we have socially conditioned our population to expect eight hours of uninterrupted sleep: which would be dangerous and unheard of for other animal species.

[Heaven]

So true! I love it.

[Kazzo]

Love it. I just tell myself Stop expecting and start accepting.

[AnyDream]

So speaketh people who have never been so severely sleep deprived that they were hallucinating cold sober in broad daylight.

The statement is probably true about 93% of the time. Not helpful if you're in that other 7%!!

[possum magic]

Yes, it's a cute quote and there's some truth to it IMO but I knew when I fell asleep standing up and my knees buckled under me that I did have a sleep problem! (Fortunately I woke before I hit the ground!)

[trishalishous]

Yes! But every parent gets a shock with their first. I think it's because we have socially conditioned our population to expect eight hours of uninterrupted sleep: which would be dangerous and unheard of for other animal species.

Actually my oldest was a dream, slept through 99% of the time. From birth. Then DS came along and we think 45mins in a row is heaven!

[PumpkinZulu]

Hmmm, I don't know about that. DD1 hit about 9mo and slept 30 min blocks, awake for an hour in between. Sometimes worse. I DID hallucinate and I was so sleep deprived, I wanted to throw her out the window. While I don't think her sleep patterns at that time were necessarily *abnormal*, I do think my expectations played a huge role in how much I struggled. It became the main thing in my life, and I was always trying to focus on getting more sleep, longer sleep, better sleep. She's 2.5 and still wakes regularly through the night. When DD2 came along, I was tired, sleep deprived, run down. I had PND and DD2 had awful reflux, but my mindset about sleep was very different, and I really have not struggled in the same way, despite having more reason to this time. At 12mo, DD2 still wakes and feeds multiple times through the night. It is what it is. I agree that there are some babies who probably have a harder time settling than others, and that it is a problem for them. But mostly, I do believe it is mindset. And this is from someone whose babies slept all night long at one point or other in their lives, then back flipped.

[forshelby]

I agree. mindset is the biggest battle. DS1 has rarely slept through. he's almost 3 and only just starting to go from 8pm-2am on a good night. DS2 has been marginally better sleep wise but between the two of them I'm still pretty wiped out. I call it 'surrendering to the crapness.' With DS1 I wasted so much energy stressing about sleep.... I would cry and say I couldn't do it anymore. This time I don't cry.... or struggle much at all. I've got a killer nap routine going and I just make sure to balance housework with rest. If I can keep my house organized and have a 2hr nap on kindy days I'm pretty satisfied.

adjustment of expectations is key here. For sure. I expect to be woken hourly. I expect to be tired. I also expect squishy cuddles and sweet smiles in the morning. The half-awake fumbling for breakfast is much more pleasant when it's met by a chubby grin and a 'Thank you Mama!'

DP says I'm crazy wanting another baby ..... I say I'll trade a few more years of crap sleep for another little person to love. When I'm 90 I'll never look back and say 'gee if I had one less baby I'd have gotten more sleep'. I almost have him convinced lol. Oh how perspectives change in a few short years.