Help Needed getting DS almost 4 to poo on toilet.

[mum22boys]

He hasn't worn a nappy for over 12 months. Has no bed wetting of a night. No worries with peeing but I've tried everything and he keeps pooing his pants. I think we got him to go to toilet for about a week then he went back to dirtying his pants. I've even taken him to doctors but was told to persist with it. I've tried sitting him on toilet & not letting him get off until he's done a poo, but he will just sit there n when I finally let him off, within 1/3 hr he poos his pants. I've made him clean his own solid pants but nothing seems to work. Has anyone else had this kind of problem and what worked for you.

Am really at the end of my tether with having to deal with dirty pants every day.

[Sterla]

My DS (now almost 5) did pretty well the same things. He toilet trained at 3.5 with wees fine, but it honestly took him a good year before we got him to even attempt pooing on the toilet. I tried so many things, so many bribes, reward charts, all that... I tried to be understanding, but after a year of him pooing in his undies I was understandably frustrated! I can't remember exactly what it was that got him to start doing his business on the toilet. We tried a 'poo toy' - a much wanted toy that he could only play with when doing his poos on the toilet. That at least got him on the toilet. I think another thing that helped get him there was a reward that he really wanted... For him this was getting to play a game on the iPad for a set time. This worked for awhile, but we aren't completely there yet. He doesn't do a full poo on his undies anymore, but he will often start and then have to waddle to the loo to finish. He starts school in a few weeks too, so it is something we are having to talk a lot about.

For my DS, it was about finding the right reward or incentive to actually give it a go. He just didn't care about it otherwise.

Also, take comfort in the fact that you're not alone. I have two or three other mums who have had almost identical issues.

I hope that was of some help xx

[JLeigh29]

No personal experience but I can imagine the clean up would get old pretty quick. What does he say? Can he feel a poo coming? Do you think he's doing it on purpose? Do you think there might be a bowel control issue? How do you (and DS) feel about going back to nappies/pull ups? Can he ask for a pull up/nappy when he feels a poo coming? Is he regular or does he display any obvious signs a poo is coming?

I'm guessing he probably doesn't like poo-y pants every day either...I'd be inclined to take him back to the Dr, or another one if I thought there was a problem. Otherwise, 4 isn't unheard of to still be toilet training.

[leckert]

We had to put a toilet seat cover on for ds1 over the cooler months as the seat was too cold apparently to get him to even sit on the toilet. We now have to read a peppa pig or fireman Sam book (cardboard ones so only 4-6 pages with simple sentences) and then have another that he can read/look at so that the poo can come. Annoying thing is he can poo without the aids at childcare (although I believe he has sat on the toilet and sung for quite a while while pooing in the past there).

[Livinthedream]

My experience was exactly the same as Sterla's.
he finally seems to have the hang of it now, at 4.5 but it has been a very long frustrating road.
hugs

[mum22boys]

Thanks for the replies.

I've tired bribes, reward charts, putting nappies on him (which he absolutely hates). I've even brought pink girl undies and threatened him that he'll have to wear them if he doesn't start using the toilet. I've talked to him about using toilet, asked him "where he needs to do poos" and he replies "on the toilet". So he knows where he's supposed to go but he's just not doing it. (Grr) Nothing seems to be working and I'm starting to get really frustrated with having to clean him up every day.
Looks like I just need to persevere with it and hopefully he'll get it soon.