Warning, this might be a ramble! I'm not really sure what I'm after, but here goes:
DD seems to be a bit of a follower. As in, she'll pick a kid, and follow. She has a best friend at daycare, and she just does exactly what she does. Granted, I haven't observed them for long periods of time, but when I drop her off she immediately follows/copies M. Eg this morning after she gave us a hug and a kiss she turned around, and M pretended to fall down. So A fell on the ground. M laughed and got up, so did A. It's the same every morning, she goes over and just copies whatever M is doing.
It happened on the weekend too, we went to a party for a 3yo and one for a 2yo. At the 3yo party she only knew the birthday girl, so she just kind of stuck to her. To the point that she copies things she wouldn't normally do and knows is not allowed. Eg. L climbed on the window sill and jumped on to the couch, so so did A. L started wrestling and screaming, so did A, and it's pretty out of character. Same thing happened at the next party, she met a little girl her age and copied everything. End of the night, the girl went to go see her dad who was off playing cricket and A automatically followed. I asked her not to go, as she didn't know anyone there and didn't want her getting hit by a stray ball. She was so disappointed that she couldn't go and follow.
Like I said, I don't really know what I want from this. I guess I want her to be able to make her own decisions. To decide on her own that even though her friend is swinging upside down on a pole, it's maybe not a great idea because we've asked her to go under previously. I also know she's only so young, things like this are going to take time.
I think maybe it's also a personality thing. In all three examples above, the other kids are very outgoing and... I don't know how to describe it, they're just not afraid to get out on their own and run the show lol. Whereas DD has always just stuck close to Mum and Dad and it's only since January that she's started to actually willingly go off and play without us. She was in a situation in January that we were on holidays with another family, and DD was much more outgoing than their little boy so she was kind of the leader there.
So maybe it's just a personality thing? There's been a more dominant kid each time and so DD has just gone with the flow? Gah I don't know lol. I suppose I don't want her to be a follower when she's older. Right now it won't be an issue, what can they really get up to? But I want her, when she's older, to be able to say no without fear of then not having that friend I guess.
I don't know if this is even something to think about at this age?
My eldest was the one that sat back and watched. I remember one of the local BB meets, she stood on the edge of the playground for the entire time and wouldn't engage. I think she just wanted to watch and learn and I think your DD is probably doing the same but in a different way. It was a huge shock the day DD1 wandered off to actually play in a playground with other kids there because she always stuck close to DH and I.
With her cousin, it was a different story. She was comfortable with her and would do anything cousin did and do anything cousin told her to do. Even if it got her into trouble
Now at nearly 5, she'll introduce herself to kids and try and play. But she knows what she's allowed to do and usually sticks to that. And if cousin tries to get her to do something she doesn't want to do, she walks off and plays with DD2 instead.
I don't know if that helps you or not. I think it's just a stage of learning they all go through in different ways.
That sounds exactly like DD! We too were shocked on the holiday that she went off on her own to play with our friends boy, she'd only met him once before and always used to stick to us, suddenly she'd just shout bye! And was off next door to get him to play with her lol. In that regard, I'm so happy for her that she's now confident enough to go off on her own and play with other kids.
I guess it's just a next level of confidence to get to where your DD is, knowing she doesn't have to do what the other kids are doing.
DD seems to be a 'follower'
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