Hey. Hope everyone has enjoys the weekend celebrations.
I need help.
I'm drowning in negativity in everything I do, my marriage, the outlaws. Life. It's killing me. I'm really struggling. DH & I are seeing a counsellor which is kind of helping but we've barely touched the surface.
Could you please let me know what I can do to help me get out of this?
I wonder for Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) might help... You can google Russ Harris at the happiness trap. Basically it's about recognising that a feeling is just a feeling, we all have them, and they help us! When we have negative feelings and thoughts it's about reminding yourself - it's just a feeling, it's just a thought, it will pass. And to sit with them and just accept they are there... Then choosing to live your life according to your values.... Those things that are really important to you.
That's the really quick version though.
I found it really helped me to think of things in that way. Xox
Be kind to yourself. Life is hard sometimes, and we put too much pressure on ourselves to be more and to be happy - when as a matter of fact. Sometimes it's okay to just be okay. And sometimes it's okay to be sad. They will all pass and things will change. Xox
You've already received some great advice! Maybe I can share my experiences, as god knows I've had these moments too! Sometimes I use the simple trick of changing my self talk, reframing things from:
"I can't do this" vs "I don't know how to do this yet"
"I am really confused" vs "I am not quite on top of this"
"I am deeply upset/disappointed/hurt by" vs "I am smack bang in the middle of working things out"
"I will never be able to" vs "I am willing to give it a go"...it seems to help
I also remember where I'm at in the learning process, and when I'm feeling like that, I'm usually in the "belly of the dragon" - the space between 'conscious incompetence' and 'conscious competence'. It's usually where I have a tantrum or two, want to give up completely, avoid, cry a lot etc. But knowing that when I push through this really uncomfortable stage, I find a much calmer space, where the change plateaus and gets a little more enjoyable...
Failing that, I drink wine and eat chocolate and feel terribly sorry for myself for a few hours
Hugs and love. Go easy on yourself Xxxx
Thanks for the recommendation & advice. I will take a look tomorrow. I normally try to surround myself with positive things & learn from my struggles but this time its physically wearing me down & I feel cornered.
Removing negativity
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