DS and daycare

**teresa** · May 12th, 2014, 11:40 AM

Hi ladies,

I need some advice please. DS is 4 years old and attends daycare 2 days a week. he turned 4 in February. anyway he moved from the toddler room at the beginning of this year to the pre school room when the other kids started school (there was no room prior to this for him to move up). anyway he was in the room for a month when the girls approached me on pick up and asked if I was planning on sending him to school next year. I said yes I was. they commented that they didn't think he was mature enough to go and they are suggesting keeping him in daycare for another year. I was like "ok, thanks for that".

anyway now they are approaching us for a meeting as they are saying he has a very short attention span and will often go off and do his own thing when they are trying to do group activities. they want to give us help on how to improve this at home. I am unsure of this short attention span considering at home and even out, he is happy to play with toys for quite awhile or watch tv with nil problems. sometimes he will get up and get a drink, go to the toilet, see what me or his dad is doing or check his new baby sister. but mostly he is good.

anyway, I am really unsure how to react to this. I think he is more then ready for school and have had others who know him well, say the same thing, that school is just what he needs right now. I am so confused as well as DH.

does anyone have any advice?

Thanks for reading

**Mumma T** · May 12th, 2014, 11:53 AM

Considering he seems ready for school and its only there he seems to be having an issue I would question if he is being stimulated enough there. Bordom can come across as short attention span.

Also its way to early to make a call on keeping him back, its still 9 months till school starts and they can change an awful lot in that time.

Hear them out but at the end of the day I would go with what you feel is right for him

**teresa** · May 12th, 2014, 12:01 PM

I am wondering if its boredom there too and not stimulating enough for him. I know he has been a bit ratty and sometimes naughty since DD was born so I am thinking that too may be a reason for his inattentiveness there.

at DD's 6 week check up with the paediatrician, the paediatrician even commented that he was more then ready for school. he is a very curious little boy too which I think doesn't help.

thanks mumma T

**FabFiona** · May 12th, 2014, 12:15 PM

We just had that meeting with our kinder too. It wasn't hard to hear, but I don't want him to struggle at school either.

She's recommended we see an OT to help with emotional immaturity, short attention span and some fine motor skills problems. We had our first session last week and it was great.

I'm so glad our kinder teacher has given us so much time to help him get ready.

**~Kim~** · May 12th, 2014, 07:42 PM

Kids at school/preschool/care are often totally different to the children we deal with at home.
Teachers and carers have a less personal attachment and can be more objective. They also see a range of children and are pretty good (generally) at what is 'average'. If you trust them, it can't hurt to listen and ask questions. If you don't then that different.

My dd1 is an extremely bright kid a couple of years ahead of her peers, but on the trusted advice of her preschool teacher we opted to keep her back as she just wasn't ready for a formal school environment. The first term was awful and I constantly questioned my choice, but I can unequivocally tell you one thing. It was the single best decision I have ever made for her. Prior to them mentioning it, I had always just assumed she would go to school 12 months prior -after all the was so smart. But smart isn't what makes a kid successful at school, and we wanted a head start for her.

On the other hand one of my best gfs little boy started school against advice from the very same preschool teachers. She took it as a personal attack on her son by teachers who had 30years experience and sent him anyway. He is not coping with school at all. His attention span is still horrendous and he is having major problems. She gets so defensive when anyone mentions he wasn't ready (which has happened a lot ). He too is ok academically, just not the other stuff.

That was a big ramble to say in a roundabout way that I guess it's all about perspective and an open mind. There is a long time before potentially school starts and plenty of time to investigate all avenues if you feel you want to.

**lilima** · May 12th, 2014, 07:59 PM

I have to agree with Kim. She is describing my DD to a T. She is turning 6 in Feb, and that is when she will be starting school.

Keep an open mind. There will be kids his exact age if you send either next year or the year after.

**black_rose** · May 12th, 2014, 08:05 PM

You still have time to decide, they said a similar thing to us with dd2 as well at this time of year but by October she was ready, especially when kinder started doing more school orientated stuff like writing her name and learning shapes and patterns etc. she is thriving in school this year. I also think it was boredom and wanting to be extended. It wouldn't hurt to keep an open mind though just in case you do need to make a decision to wait a year.

We tried to encourage lots of social situations for dd and sat and read with her and did writing when ever we could.

**teresa** · May 13th, 2014, 02:54 PM

thanks so much ladies

we went in yesterday and had a chat with them. turns out all the issue is now is that he wont sit still during group time and needs some prompting to stay there. they said he will eventually get there with constant reminders to stay seated. we are trying to get him to do the same at home too. they were very surprised that he knows his alphabet and numbers so well.

**Olive** · May 13th, 2014, 03:17 PM

My DD is also starting next year (turns 6 in feb) she is quite bright too, but emotionally wasn't ready, she will be next year,
There isn't any hurry, they have 13 long years ahead of them, why make the start of that journey harder than it needs to be?
Social and emotional readiness is far more important, look up Kathy walker.
If he is bored then the kinder should be extending him, it should tailor things around individual learning, perhaps he isn't bored rather not interested, then agin the kinder need to see that and involve him or maybe he just doesn't want told told what to do, I think we all just assume kids are bored when they aren't. DD is in 4 yr old kinder as a 5 yr old and is never bored!!

**HotI** · May 13th, 2014, 03:32 PM

they were very surprised that he knows his alphabet and numbers so well.

If he is there 2 days a week, and they are assessing his readiness for school, how did they miss that?

I do worry about kids who stay back getting in to trouble bc they are bored and find things to amuse themselves. My dd is born at start of year and we are waiting awhile to decide on next year.

**Olive** · May 13th, 2014, 04:34 PM

Hot are you worried about DD bring bored doing kinder again? It's up to her kinder to make sure that doesn't happen
Xx

**HotI** · May 13th, 2014, 06:12 PM

Hot are you worried about DD bring bored doing kinder again? It's up to her kinder to make sure that doesn't happen
Xx

No, I am worried about her being bored at school, if she is not being challenged. I am thinking further ahead than just the next couple of years.

**teresa** · May 13th, 2014, 06:50 PM

If he is there 2 days a week, and they are assessing his readiness for school, how did they miss that?
.

I honestly have no idea. there are 3 girls in the room too.

**Floweryfields** · May 13th, 2014, 07:17 PM

I would question why they are raising this so early in the year? A child changes so much in the span of 12 months. Normally we would start to consider a child's readiness towards the mid to end of 3rd term.
I would suspects he has missed out a bit staying in the toddler room and then skipping up to the preschool room - in my experience children are usually really ready to go up to the next age group from our toddler room as they do need the extra stimulation and 'routine' that comes with the older age group.
I would give him a bit more time before you make any big decisions - school may be exactly what he needs to extend him further. I would advise, unless you are seriously concerned that he won't cope, I would never hold a child back from starting school at the correct age.

**Ginger** · May 13th, 2014, 08:00 PM

She wouldn't be holding him back from starting at the correct age though. There is a window of starting points, and you will find that there will be lots of children who turn 6 in jan feb March April starting that year.

**Olive** · May 13th, 2014, 08:51 PM

No, I am worried about her being bored at school, if she is not being challenged. I am thinking further ahead than just the next couple of years.

I would worry more about a child falling behind/struggling than getting bored.
DD1 is reading 2+ years above where she should be and writing 3+ years above! she's not bored!! Teachers challenge kids.

**HotI** · May 14th, 2014, 09:23 AM

In an ideal world, kids will always get teachers who have the drive and resources to offer work that challenge s them. I know both dh and I were left unchallenged by school (some years), and either pretended to not get it, became class clown, disruptive or just skeptical of education in order to amuse ourselves. Other years, we had brilliant teachers.

Just one thing that is coming in to working out what to do. All my kids are born at start of the year, so we will have to do this a few times.

**wysiwyg** · May 14th, 2014, 09:53 AM

If he is there 2 days a week, and they are assessing his readiness for school, how did they miss that?

I do worry about kids who stay back getting in to trouble bc they are bored and find things to amuse themselves. My dd is born at start of year and we are waiting awhile to decide on next year.

We had an info evening last night, school does not require any knowledge of letters and numbers (maybe recognising own name), mainly what they need is social and emotional maturity and an interest in learning. So I can see how they can 'miss' that knowledge because they are not looking for it, it isn't considered one of the 'readiness' things, whereas what they have mentioned would be.

I think is too early to make a decision but I would place some weight on what they say especially later in the year - particularly as school is more like the daycare/kinder environment than the home environment.

I think the opposite is also true - if daycare/kinder think your child is ready for school I would also tend to go with their view. I personally think it can be quite disadvantageous to life skills to be too far ahead and possibly bored.