DS1 (5 1/2yrs) is in kindy (his first year of formal school). Today he came home and told me his teacher told him to tell DH and I that we need to give him more food in his lunch box. I asked him why she said that, and he said because he ate it all at lunch time (at this school, they have lunch first and then recess break later). It came out later over dinner that she gave him $1 to get something at the canteen for recess, and he chose to get a slushy.
Now I have several issues with all of this.
1) I give my kids heaps of food for their lunch boxes- usually a sandwich, a piece of fruit, a piece of cheese or yogurt, a packet snack like tiny teddies or crackers, and a home made snack like a muffin/biscuits/slice and water.
Before school, DS will have cereal at home for breakfast as well as a cup of weak tea or hot chocolate, and then has a slice of toast at school with his friend from the canteen. The kids get a fruit break in the classroom, and DS said he eats his fruit and part of something else in his lunch box.
2) Why isn't the teacher watching the kids to see the amount of food the eat and encourage them not to eat it all at once. That's A LOT of food for a 5yr to pack away at once. When DS's at home, he's content with his sandwich and a bit of fruit for lunch.
3) I appreciate that the teacher didn't want DS going hungry at recess time and that she was being kind in giving him money, but why would you think a 5yr old would choose something substantial or healthy to eat when he can go and buy slushies or ice creams (etc) with the money? If she had have gone and got him an apple or something like that, I think that would be more appropriate.
4) We only give our kids canteen money once a fortnight, or less. I don't like them eating canteen food often, and they don't need to eat it, since we have our own food at home which I take care in making and ensuring is fairly healthy. I don't want DS thinking he will be given money when ever he finishes his lunch so he can go and get junk food.
Am I over reacting? Am I feeding him enough? (It's seems to me, that he gets plenty of food, more than I remember getting in my lunches!). Do you think it appropriate that he was given money by the teacher?
I am going to talk to his teacher tomorrow.
i think it would be best to have a discussion with the teacher. get the whole story and her side also. she may not have realised how much food you packed or he consumed.
i would be upset also as i feel she stepped over a boundary. why give your child money? how could she "feel" he was hungry, did she ask him?
definately have a talk to her openly about it but let her know that it did not please you to hear what had happened.
Just talk to her, it sounds like it was a well intended gesture and I would assume that the money given wasn't intended for a slushee. I feel teachers have it rough and we need to be supportive, they are trying to balance 25 or so kids so it would be unrealistic to expect her to know exactly what goes into your LOs lunch box and how it is being consumed over the day, she would have probably just been aware that at that particular time, he didn't have much food left and appeared hungry, not realising how much he may have eaten earlier in the day
My DS is 5, on the odd occasion he has canteen money, most of the time he makes good food choices, sometimes not. Some days he eats like a horse, other days he's too busy playing to bother.
I think the appropriate thing would be to thank her for her good intentions, but just give her a friendly heads up that you'd prefer she didn't give him money in the future.
I think Mummy Naomi expresses my sentiments perfectly
"Just talk to her, it sounds like it was a well intended gesture and I would assume that the money given wasn't intended for a slushee. I feel teachers have it rough and we need to be supportive, they are trying to balance 25 or so kids so it would be unrealistic to expect her to know exactly what goes into your LOs lunch box and how it is being consumed over the day, she would have probably just been aware that at that particular time, he didn't have much food left and appeared hungry, not realising how much he may have eaten earlier in the day"
I would definitely get her side of the story first. I am sure that the money was not intended for a slushy but perhaps she herself was unable to supervise the purchase from the canteen. Teachers cannot be everywhere at the same time and sometimes have to make quick judgement calls based on what they see and hear at that time.
TBH I do think you're overreacting. A teacher did something kind for your child. If it happened all the time that's one thing, but she's unlikely to make a habit out of it since it probably came out of her own pocket.
Your points are all valid, but you've got a lot of years ahead of you at this place - if it were me I'd suck it up, thank the teacher if you see them (or send $1 in with your son tomorrow) and start packing more food (veggie sticks?), or label food in a way that he knows what to eat when. You don't want to become known as the mum who got angry with a teacher for doing something kind.
Sometimes people give my kids food that in an ideal world they wouldn't eat. But I would rather my children experience being shown kindness than be the lolly police.
FWIW i think you are sending plenty of food... Growth spurt? Parasites? Is he cold or bored?
I'm not angry at all. I'm not going to go in all guns blazing or anything. I have given DS the money and told DS to give the teacher back and to say thank you. FWIW, this is not the first time this teacher has given my child money. But the first time she did it was for a special day when the kids had a sausage sizzle, and DS lost his money, and was upset about it, so she gave his the $2 to get a sausage sandwich. Another really lovely and kind gesture and again appreciated by myself (and him). In that instance, I didn't mind because it was kind of 'healthy' substantial food, and for a special school day to participate in. And again, I returned the money and thanked her for her kindness.
As I said in my OP, I get that she was being kind and didn't want him to be hungry, I really do appreciate that. But he brought a slushy with the money. That is not going to fill his belly at all, it's just junk food and it's not something I would feed my child. I don't let him buy slushies when I give him canteen money, and I supervise his choices when I do let him eat canteen food, because he's 5 and doesn't know better yet. I just think, if she wants to be generous for her students like that (and it really is lovely that she cares so much about 'her kids') she should take a little more responsibility in it and either tell him what to buy, go with him to make sure he made a decent choice, or get something healthy to give to him herself.
Being an early childhood teacher myself, I know the difficulty first hand in caring for 20 or so children. I know that it can be tedious and hard to monitor that the children have enough food, are eating healthy foods each day, or are not scoffing every morsel in the lunch boxes in one sitting. I've done it. We always had a little stash of healthy, low allergen foods to give to the kids who either didn't have enough foods, or brought in inappropriate foods.The teacher would have to be checking lunches to ensure they're allergy free (egg and nuts are not allowed in their lunch boxes) so surely she would know what sorts of food and how much he generally gets.
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I will talk to the teacher this afternoon. I sent extra food for DS, some more fruit and some rice cakes with cream cheese as extra (unfortunately, he won't eat vegetables with dips or anything like that). His lunch box was overflowing. DD laughed at it, and scoffed at him 'I bet you can't eat that much food'! I told him not to eat it all at once, and to leave at least one or two things for recess.
The first conversation I'd be having would be to ask the school why the hell are they selling slushies there at all??!!! Many canteens have a healthy food policy, as it should be IMO. What possible nutritional or other benefit are slushies to children who are trying to learn??
Yep, I know n2l. They are supposed to be a part of the healthy schools thing, but seriously, so much of the food they serve leaves a lot to be desired.
I had this exact issue with ds1s school years ago. I to pack his lunch box much like you do. He would have fruit and yoghurt, then a sandwich with some sort of snack with it to and a muesli bar and rice crackers.
He also ate 3 weet bix with a banana for brekki. When at home he would never eat thus much so I knew it was enough.
Yet week after week I would get notes saying he had no lunch so they got him some from the canteen and that I had to pay xxxx dollars.
In the end I took his lunch bix to his teacher and showed her. I did this as I had spoken to her already and told her what I pack. Then I had the principal call to express concerns that he keeps not getting lunch. Which I asked didnt they find it odd my other child there had luch why would I only send it with one grrr
Turns out he was throwing most of it away as he inew they would then get him food from the canteen! !
That's one thing I had thought too, familyof3. I don't *think* DS would do that, but it's a possibility that he might click that he will get money for junk if he chucks his healthy homemade stuff.
I talked to the teacher today, just 'Did he have enough food today?'. She kind of looked at me blankly, and I said he told us to give him more food because you said he didn't have enough, and gave him money. Then she said yes, he had enough, and I asked if he gave her the money and she said yes, and thanks. I thanked her, and I told her he got a slushy with the money and I was not really happy with that, and she said to him 'I told you to get a piece of fruit or something healthy!' So she did kind of try to get him to get something healthy, but seriously, a 5 yr old with money to get what he wants...?? As if he's going to buy an apple when he can have a slushy!
FWIW, he didn't even eat the extra food I gave him. He's just had it for his arvo snack. I didn't think he'd have that much, I don't think DH would even eat that much food! So he must have just had an extra hungry day.
I'd probably start packing more food in his lunch box. Maybe divide it into 2 so he knows what is for what.
5 is about the age that both my children had a growth spurt that saw them eating pretty much the same as an adult some days.
I certainly pack more than that into DS1's lunchbox because he likes to eat a lot at school. DS is a lunch skipper so he has less and anything leftover is his afternoon snack unless his brother gets to it first.
That was today TT40. I gave him almost twice as much food today as I usually do (1 1/2 sandwiches, slice of cheese and yogurt tub, two pieces of fruit, a packet of tiny teddies and a homemade spiced carrot muffin and water), and he only ate the amount he normally would. He still had the cheese, 1/2 sandwich and banana in his bag when he got home.
Yesterday he had the amount which I always give him (sandwich, piece of fruit, slice of cheese, 6 jatz crackers, 3 homemade anzac bickies and a big bottle of water) and he ate all of that at one sitting at lunch time, then had nothing for his recess break.
I will just give him a little extra next week and see how that goes for him. I also told him to have 2 slices of toast in the morning from the canteen in the mornings (they serve a free breakfast of toast or cereal and a hot chocolate or milk poppa).
I separate my DD's food, and will be doing the same for DS when he starts school next year. They have one chiller bag, but 2 lunchboxes in that bag. So they know what food for which break.
I think I would appreciate that the teacher was doing something nice for you DS, not realising that he did in fact have enough food, but a bit concerned about the slushie. But I am guessing she couldn't go with him as she had to watch the other children. You have done the right thing talking to her and showing that you appreciate the kind gesture, but would prefer she didn't do it in future.
I am now feeling grateful for the policy at our school. If a child forgets lunch the school rings to make sure you are ok for them to provide something from the canteen (if the parents can't get to the school to drop food off). And the primary students ( we are at a prep- grade 12 school) aren't allowed to go to the canteen to choose, they need everything on a lunch order, and if an ice block is part of that, they get a token to take to the canteen after the first part of lunch.
I am enjoying reading this. When I was a young teacher I got sucked in a few times by kids who said they had no lunch or hid their lunch. I gave them money. Then I learnt to check lunch boxes/bags.
Now I am even cleverer. When I am teaching full time I have a "fruit bowl" which is my own fruit and if they need extra food they can choose from that then they need to bring a piece of fruit the next day to replace it........I have little printed notes that I pop in their lunch box for their carers/parents. I also have a packet of boring rice crackers. I offer these to hungry kids too.........I rarely have kids in my class want a "free" lunch
I take the fun of "canteen" out and rarely is there a "not enough lunch" problem.
At one school I worked at they made vegemite sambos and offered a piece of fruit for those who had no lunch. This was regularly taken up as was free brekky but only but kids who genuinely had nothing to eat
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His teacher gave him money for the canteen
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