DD started prep this year. For all of term 1 and most of term 2, she has been excited to go, happy, doesn't even look back when she goes into the classroom.
Suddenly a few weeks before end of term, she started getting really upset when it was time for me to go, holding on to me, crying, saying she didn't want me to go. She wanted me to stay all day.
I tried explaining I had to go for whatever reason. We talked about how mums don't stay at school all day. I tried staying for reading and that just delayed the years until after reading.
I've tried asking her why she is sad - she doesn't know, she just loves me so much and doesn't want me to go.
Her teacher is as stumped as I am. Usually within 10 mins of me leaving she is ok, but sometimes not. The teacher gives her a special job or gets her to cuddle the class puppy, which sometimes helps.
It has continued off and on since then. Some days better, others not. I'm back at work two days and on those days she now cries when I leave home. Her grandparents take her to school and report that she's now crying when they leave.
I have just dropped her at her singing class and had the same thing - didn't want me to go, bit teary, but seemed ok after a bit.
Could it be that she's just struggling with me going back to work? I'm a bit stumped. She's always been fine to go to other people before, she's never been clingy.
Ideas? Thoughts? Last week it was so bad she started crying as soon as we pulled into the car park and didn't stop until about 15mins after I left apparently.
Not sure what to add, but didn't want to say nothing.
There was a girl in my prep a bit like this. I remember that it did last quite a while, but it had stopped by grade 1, I believe. She just missed her mum, pure and simple, and it took a little while for her to acclimatise to the new structure of her day. But she did
Is DD1 at an age where you can ask her what solutions she would propose? Maybe it would help if she's actively involved in creating strategies?
Is it the physical side? If so, would having something to cuddle (like the puppy) or a scarf of yours that smells like you (with a bit of your perfume, if there's one you always use) or something?
Is it the connection? Would packing a little love note with her lunchbox help?
Is it purely missing you? Would a photo with "Can't wait to see you tonight!" on the back help remind her that you're always looking forward to seeing you when you get home?
Any of these things, she will get used to. She'll get used to being at school, and will be so busy during her day that the time apart will become her new norm.
If it's not any of these things, then I'd be wondering whether something else is specifically wrong - is there something or someone who is upsetting her. And if there is, then she needs to vocalise that, so you can figure out whether something can be done ...
But my inkling is that she just pure and simple misses being at home with you and the boys, and her routine. And that's ok - and she can help you and your DH figure out what will help her feel better during the day.
None of this however IMHO has anything to do with you being at work - even if you were sitting outside the school gates to see her before and after school, and for a mummy-daughter lunchtime, and helping out with reading in the classroom - it would not actually help. And it's not sustainable, and it's not best for her or your family on whole.
Aw, she loves her mum and she misses her.
School can be really tough. They're so little and it gets tiring. Maybe she's just a bit overwhelmed with it at this point and needing some more mum time?
And it could well be the return to work. It's just rocked her world ever so slightly and some kids are more sensitive to these things than others. Do you guys get much time together otherwise? It's hard for you, too, juggling several kids and work and everything else you have going on.
If it were my kid, I might be inclined to taking some time out for one-on-one time together. It's a way to reconnect and something to look forward to.
It will get easier.
You know what....it's pretty normal I think, DD did it in grade 1, other kids did it in prep.
DD's was related to some anxiety/issues in class which we addressed as best we could, I drew love hearts in texta on her hands to remind her of me, she liked that.
I found quick goodbyes worked best, don't prolong it xxx
Sudden clingyness
Reply With Quote
Bookmarks