When your kids won't eat what you make.

[CinderToriella]

When you make a meal and your kids say they don't like it or they won't try it , what do you do ?

[beansbeans!]

Ive done the 'well thats all you get, so eat or go to bed hungry', Ive done the 'you will eat this whether it be for breakfast, lunch or dinner, you will eat what is on this plate', Ive bribed them, used reward charts, given in and let them have fruit and yoghurt instead, Ive helped them, by getting them to close their eyes and let me spoon feed them.. I can keep going, but lets just say, Ive done everything the books say, the internet says, what other mums/friends/family have offered for advice. None of it worked. These days I just try to make sure I put something on everyones plate that they like, some that looks like something they will try, and etc. If they don't eat, then thats up to them. One day my kids love spag bol, the next they won't have a bar of it.

I have no answers, except i no longer take it to heart. If they eat then they eat, if they don't eat dinner then they know thats it til breakfast time.

[AnyDream]

I always took the approach of putting something on the plate that I knew they would eat, so new or unfamiliar or not-very-liked food would be one portion on a plate that also contained familiar or liked or frequently eaten food. That way everybody wins. My only rule is you have to chew and swallow one mouthful of whatever it is before you say you don't like it. But we also ask the child to eat X mouthfuls before they abandon the plate (X being the child's age). My DDs quite like being able to count the mouthfuls, and it goes quicker if you load up the fork/spoon for them (especially if the issue is tiredness).

Othertimes, if there's total food refusal, it might come down to tiredness, or having eaten too much earlier. We have always provided "dessert" by way of small portion fruit+yoghurt/custard/rice pudding as that provides everyone with a graceful exit. That way the kids don't go to bed hungry and there's not a massive fight either.

And sneaky mummies "win" by providing hot and savoury or nutritious finger foods as lunch or late afternoon snacks, so that it doesn't matter how much of dinner they eat. Keeping aside a portion of each night's dinner for the following day works well for this.

[onthefly]

I try to accommodate them to a certain extent, so there's always something they will eat. But otherwise they just go hungry. If it's a regular thing, it's generally that it's too late (and they're too tired to eat) and/or they've eaten enough earlier in the day.

[~Kim~]

Same as the other mums. I always try to provide something each one likes, and if it's a one pot type meal make the bits they really don't like cut large enough that they're easily removable. I know, it's a bit tedious and monotonous at times.
I've had that kid that only at 5 particular foods and it was him that taught me to worry less and serve more for lunch and arvo tea and serve dinner earlier.

[Arimeh]

In this house they eat what they are served or go hungry. Its not a restaurant and I'm not a chef so its eat it or starve till breakfast in this house. I make simple meals though so there is always something on the plate they like. Whether they feel like eating it is another thing......

[Rouge]

Nothing. I've seen too many bad food habits that form from over compensating at dinner time. Especially with extra options when they don't like something. Like others I make sure there is something on the plate they will eat but that's as far as I go. And it's worked. My kids will eat anything. Just don't scold them because they don't like it. Their palates will take a while to develop which is why it's always important to keep trying things even if they hated it yesterday. Try and limit the drama at the table. Otherwise it will just keep happening.

[~Hestia~]

I don't do anything. My eldest is and always has been very picky, admittedly it has tested my patience at times! But it is not worth the stress. There is always fruit or yogurt for afters no matter what so he has at least eaten something. I look at his diet over the whole day, the whole week etc.

[myturn]

Some time ago I found a story book for DSD which she loved and we referred to in terms of trying new foods. I think it helped

Here's a link to a gov PDF that lists it and others that are about healthy lifestyles.

http://www.ausport.gov.au/__data/ass...ealthyKids.pdf

[luna moth]

We say "you don't have to like it, but you do have to try it." And they usually do. Everything gets served with peas, rice or natural yoghurt, so something always gets eaten. But if they don't, they go hungry. I'm okay with it.

If I'm serving something for dinner that I know they won't like, I serve a big afternoon tea of healthy stuff that they do like, so I don't worry about it.

[Calluna]

Our rule is "you dont have to eat it all, you dont have to like it, but you do have to try it." 90% of the time once he has tried it ge finds he likes it.
And he has to have 1 bite of everything.

[MrsFabuloso]

Just tonight, my children proved to me how futile any of my efforts are. I made them a simple meal- sausages, oven baked chips and salad sticks. A meal most kids would eat, right?? I told them if they ate all of their dinner, I would make them a special surprise ( homemade custard, or ice cream, they could have chosen). I gave them a time limit of 45 min ("If you eat all your dinner by 6.30, I will give you a special dessert")DD (who is my best eater and will try anything) ate it all.

DD (7) is my best eater and will try and eat most meals I cook. Both DS's (6, and 3 1/2) are terrible at eating dinner meals, and even trying new foods. I never give them much, tonight it was about 3/4 of a sausage each, 5 rounds of carrot, about 1/3 of a leaf of lettuce, 2 rounds of cucumber and two long slices of capsicum, and 5 oven chips (DD gets more, because she will eat more, so got the extra sausage, more salad and chips.

So, DD got her choice of ice cream with chocolate topping and sprinkles. I am still dealing with the fallout of both DS's saying they want dessert, even though they didn't eat their dinner. DS2 didn't even eat half of his food. DS1, *might* have eaten half, DD 'helped' him eat his chips. The bosy both had tantrums at different times tonight, even though I spelled it out VERY clearly what was required of them, and by what time they had to eat it, with regular count downs and positive encouragement.

I have tried everything too. And now I give up. Every now and then I have the crazy idea they might eat a meal, and try with the bribery card again (like tonight) but I'm usually proved stupid, and don't try again for a long time. They get what I cook and if they don't eat it (and the boys most usually do not eat anything for dinner), they go to bed hungry. I stop snacks after school at 4 pm, and dinner is between 5.30 and 6 pm. If they eat they eat, if not, then boohoo for them.

[Teeki]

I struggle a bit with this. DD eats everything I make her - she likes most of it, except when it's 'boring' (meat and veg). Even if she really likes the meal she's so darn slow! We are just constantly asking her to stop mucking around, please hurry up, if you eat dinner properly you'll get some yoghurt after dinner.

My problem is, I don't want to bribe her to eat. I don't want to force her to eat quickly. I don't want to use other food as a reward for eating dinner. But I want her to not take 40 minutes to finish! I wish I could relax about it and let her eat properly in her own time, but my nights are full and I just don't have the time to sit around watching her slowly eat for that long.

[OceanPrincess]

I went to a parenting class a while ago and one of the few things that stuck was the idea that there is a clear division of responsibility at dinner time. It is the parent's responsibility to provide a healthy, appropriate meal at the appropriate time and it is the child's responsibility to eat it.

I liked that idea. Most kids will come round. Most kids won't let themselves starve. I've been lucky - my kids are pretty good with food. But I do get the "yuk, I don't like that" before they've even tried it. That gets me. So we've started the "don't say you don't like it unless you've tried it" and like some of the other posters, I now find they will try it and generally say they like it.

[wysiwyg]

But I want her to not take 40 minutes to finish! I wish I could relax about it and let her eat properly in her own time, but my nights are full and I just don't have the time to sit around watching her slowly eat for that long.

I struggle with this too, they don't eat slowly but they do seem to eat nothing and faff for 20 mins before commencing eating which may then take 20 mins. We get home at 6:00 - DD especially really needs to be in bed by about 7:15 - and I don't like the idea of them going to bed directly after eating - so the time pressure always seems to be there. On the two days I am not at work and the weekends we tend to eat earlier and I feel less rushed and it always seems to go better. No idea on the answer - I can't create time between 18:00 and 19:15.

[Teeki]

Lol exactly wysiwyg. DS is tired and cranky by 6, DD needs bed by 7. If I'm late and get home at 6, DS is already going a little troppo, we've gotta do dinner, shower everyone (DS showers with me then DD with DH), then I feed DS to sleep while DD has down time. But it doesn't all fit in!

[onthefly]

We eat dinner at 4:30~5. DS takes forever to eat, but he just comes and goes till it's done. sitting there and doing it all in one go would drive us all mad. I'm not sure how we'd manage it if I was working as well and we had no choice but to start later....
If kids are hungry they will eat. If they don't eat dinner, it's most likely because they've actually eaten enough earlier in the day.
We used to do the cajoling, the encouraging, the bribing and offering alternatives to DS when he was younger and it became a nightmare.
They get supper if they've finished their dinner (ie, if they're actually still hungry). We no longer make any kind of deal about meals at all. This is it, you eat it. Don't want it? OK.

[OceanPrincess]

Can you forgo the showers on work nights Teeki?