My son is 2 in May, my husband and i have never left him with anyone other than my mum for more than a 3 hours. We (myself mainly) have just always felt like he needed us and no one could care for him the way we would. DS was also demand fed until he was 12mo and would cry for me when others held him.
Anyway over the last 20 months a number of people have commented things like 'oh you poor thing, you haven't had a night off' or 'what!? You haven't left him with the grandparents for the night?'
I don't understand why am i made to feel like I'm the freak for not wanting to leave him all the time?
Don't feel like a freak. We're the same, not necessarily feeling like no one cares for them the same, but I am happy with their company. I miss them too much! I do everything with my girls, and they are pretty easy going so I don't feel like we miss out by having them with us all the time.
Everyone parents/copes different. There is nothing wrong with how you choose to parent
You're not a freak.
My eldest is 7.5yrs, and we haven't had any non parenting time together in those years.
There's a multitude of reasons why it hasn't happened yet.
It's just one of those things, a difference in parenting styles. Good friends of ours regularly leave their 5 month old with family, including overnight, among other things different to us. I don't judge, it's their life and what they do. Similarly, they don't judge us for our differences.
It's unfortunate though that you have found people who don't understand. Most of them aren't judging your parenting and aren't trying to make you feel any thing, they just don't get it.
My DD will be 4 in June and had never been left anywhere except daycare. Not even family. Then, Saturday just gone, the time was right and we left her and our 15 month old DS with my brother and sister in law for 5 hours. We'll be leaving them there longer in a couple of months when we go to a wedding. I missed them like crazy while away from them, but like I said, the time was right. One day it will be for you too, just don't let anyone push you into it if you're not ready.
If you get those comments, just tell them you don't mind. That you don't want the time off or a night out just yet, you're enjoying this time with them while you can get it.
we are very similar to you, haven't left ds (18mths) with anyone but my mum/sister for longer than 3 hrs. I really struggled with the comments, and the astonished looks I would get & felt like the 'freak' in my family/friends group.
I love being with my son & he loves being with me, I haven't needed to leave him yet. Although I will be thinking about getting both of us more comfortable with the idea over the next 6 mths as I have another little one due in August.
Why would you want to leave your young child? I don't like being apart from my DS except for school! Weird parents who don't want to be with their babies shouldn't comment on your normal mothering practices, imo.
Thanks Ladies! It's good to know i'm not the only one. I guess you're right Teeki they're probably not judging I just hate feeling like I have to answer to others when I don't judge or making comment on what they do. But I just have to learn to respond and let it go.
Andie that's so exciting! We are hoping for another baby soon too so we are planning on leaving DS with my mum for a few more hours than normal. I am soooo nervous and will miss him so much! Haha
I know how you feel, jbear. I'm lucky ds likes my mum so much, he'll happily go to the park with her & even hopped on his trike & waved goodbye to me yesterday when they went for an hour! I'm glad bc it means I can try & not stress too much when I have to go to hospital for this one... although the next thing is to work on having others (husband, my mum) put him to bed. :-/
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Crazy for not wanting to leave DS
I guess you're right Teeki they're probably not judging I just hate feeling like I have to answer to others when I don't judge or making comment on what they do. But I just have to learn to respond and let it go.
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