Re hammocks/ baby bedding/ where does your baby sleep?

[Pinky McKay]

Hi ladies,

I am writing a new book and would like to include parents experiences (as I have in my other books) .

I have kelly's kind perimssion to ask you:

Where do your babies sleep? esp - why have you chosen this option - bassinet / cot/ hammock/ colseeping

If anyone has used a hammock - why did you try this? how did you find it? How did you 'wean' baby to cot/ bed from the hammock?


If you are co-sleeping - is it bed sharing? cot next to bed? all night? part of the night?


Is this your first bub or not?


Any creative arrangements ? I have come across some really interesting situations among parents


Thanks in anticipation,

Pinky

[Ambah]

In the past 12 months since Aidyn was born, we have had various sleeping arrangements.

When we first brought him home from the hospital he went straight into his own cot and own room, and I slept on the spare bed in his room.

One week later I moved back into my own room/bed, as I was so nervous and edgy, that every time he so much as snuffled in his sleep it would wake me up - and I was becoming seriously sleep deprived because of it.

From 3 months of age I would settle him in our big bed for his naps (and I would usually nap next to him).
We would settle him this way at night-time too, and when he was deep asleep we would transfer him back into his cot for the night.

From about 7 months of age Aidyn started waking up during the night, and so he always ended up in bed with us anyway.
We found this hard, as our bed wasnt big enough, and none of us got a good nights rest.
So at about 8 months of age, we moved his cot into our bedroom next to our bed and took one of the sides off, so it was like an extension of our bed.

When he was able to crawl really well (at about 9 months) we put the railing back on the side of his cot.

At 1 year old he is still sleeping in his cot next to our bed. Our orignal plan was to get him used to his cot again, then move him back into his own room. However, we enjoy his company so much, and we can see that he loves being in there with us, that we don't have the heart to move him out into his own room just yet.

[katanya]

Hi Pinky

We are co-sleepers, in various forms..

As a newborn I would feed him in bed and then fall asleep with him in our bed till the next feed (around 1am) and then I would put him into a bassinette next to our bed so I could have some deep rolly sleep..then next feed he'd be back in..(around 4) I would use a sleeping bag with him and be very careful with doonas, pillows and my partner.
naps would usually be on our bed.

Around 4 mths he has getting too big for the bassinette, so we brought the cot into our room and took the rail off and put it next to the bed, we continued to do the same, part of the night would be in his cot, the rest in with us..

I think about 6 mths he was so rolly and started moving around so we lower the cot put the side back on, and tried him in the cot, would do the same while we weren't in the room he would sleep in the cot for safety and when we were he'd sleep in our bed..I also bought a flexibale sfatey rail for the other side of the bed as an added protection.

at 9 mths we moved house, and decided to bite the bullet, put our mattress lower, a mattress n the ground next the bed..now he was able to crawl propery and stand up, the bed is no longer high enough to hurt him if he rolled out..this is the best solution of all..

Sometimes if Felix and I are in the bed alone and spread out, my partner sleeps in the side bed, I usually encourage 1 sleep of the night in there, but recently it's so cold we are all snuggled up together in our bed!

I LOVE co-sleeping, and I think it is wonderful you are planning on writing a book on sleeping styles, because I get so many comments from other mothers about our choices (I a definately not a closet co-sleeper) I think many women feel guilty for wanting to sleep with their children, it is the most natural thing in the world..I always pay head to the safety guidelines. I do get upset when I read people being scared by stories of co-sleeping going wrong and the baby suffocating, I think more educating needs to be done in our society for safe methods not telling people they should never sleep with their children!!

[bon]

From birth both our babies slept in a bassinet in our bedroom - I found this the easiest arrangement for us as I could hear when they woke up and take them into bed to feed and then settle them. When I had Harry (our first) I was paranoid about having him sleep in the bed with us and I ended up spending a lot of time rocking and soothing him at night, as in his first weeks he was a generally unsettled newborn and also colicky.
When we brought Grace home I had no such qualms about her sleeping in bed with us. Being our second baby I was a lot more relaxed with her and she was relaxed too I think. I would put her down to sleep in the bassinet and when she woke at night I would feed her in our bed then if she went back to sleep I would put her back in the bassinet. If she was looking like she wanted to stay awake I would settle her next to me in bed in the crook of my arm and we would both go comfortably off to sleep. She grew too big for the bassinet at around 4 months so I moved her into the cot in her own room. She has been fine in there and settles well at night. We also did this with Harry. Our bedroom is not big enough to fit the cot and we felt that it was better for them to have their own space for sleeping.
This has worked well for us, although around the time Grace was born Harry started refusing to sleep in his room and screamed if we left him so he started sleeping on the floor in our bedroom at night. He did this up until a week ago when we finally transferred him back to his little bed in his bedroom, and he has handled that well and now goes off to sleep on his own. He is older now though and he has had time to adapt to Grace being around and I think he is finally feeling secure again.

[{sarah}]

Where does your baby sleep?
When we first bought Alexzander home from the hospital he would only sleep in his car capsule. So for about a week he was in that in his pram (it's a travel system & they connect together).
We found out that it's dangerous to leave a baby in their capsule for more than 2hrs, so we moved him into his cradle at 1 week old. At 2 weeks we found out that he has reflux, so we tried raising the head of the cradle as reccommended. It didn't help.
I had heard through BB about hammocks so thought it might be worth looking into. I researched it on the net & found out that it might help with reflux. So we bought an Amby Natures Nest Hammock & that's where he has slept from 3 weeks old (he's almost 8w now).

If anyone has used a hammock - why did you try this? how did you find it? How did you 'wean' baby to cot/ bed from the hammock?
As I said, Zander has reflux & all the research I did lead me to believe that it would help. It has & he settles in it pretty well.
The only problem I have found is that it's a bit low (and I'm only just over 5ft) & my back gets sore bending down to put him in it. Other than that we have found it really good because all we have to do is bounce it a little if he wakes up in the middle of the night.
As yet we haven't weaned him into a cot or bed.

If you are co-sleeping - is it bed sharing? cot next to bed? all night? part of the night?
Of a morning, about 6.45am my hubby goes to work & Zander wakes up not long after. I have problems settling him back to sleep, so he comes into bed with me. We usually sleep then until 9 or 10am - so he's there for 1-2hrs each morning.

Is this your first bub or not?
Yup, he's my first baby

[Pinky McKay]

Katanya,
Sad that you are obviously copping flak - but good that you can cop it 'sweet' . I believe there is a wide spectrum of what is 'normal' , kind and gentle and as we are seeing, its different courses for different families but all are lovely options. I like the 'happy medium' approach that you all seem to have worked out. I think sharing experiences can help us all feel more confident about the choices we make. Of course safety factors into everything, but there is a lot of fear around mothering in general and this takes the fun away doesn't it?

Thanks for these lovely replies - keep them coming.

Pinky

[kirbay831]

I know that Lucy had Olivia in a hammock and has made the whole transition thing, so if she doesnt find her way here (she prob will.. lol).. im sure you could email her about it.

I think dachlostar uses one with Yasin too.

K

[BellyBelly]

Hi Pinky,

I am sure you know Marisa backwards but here goes with both anyway!:

Where do your babies sleep? esp - why have you chosen this option - bassinet / cot/ hammock/ colseeping

Marisa - After a flop of a two week stint at a 4-day sleep school (where I only went because I was under the impression babies were apparently supposed to be sleeping in their cots), we co-slept with Marisa, in the bed all night. We co-slept because I was exhausted trying to enforce the hospital's routines on her that clearly were not working, we were extremely stressed because our baby was clearly distressed and we had no support. All we wanted was for her to be happy (I never had a thought of myself - her happiness meant everything which is why I ended up not coping with it all!) and for all of us to get some sleep. So we did all we knew how to do, what my baby really wanted... to cuddle up to me at night. She truly was at peace with us in bed. It was just beautiful and such an incredible relief.

Elijah - He is actually a great sleeper so we put him in his cot from day 1, wrapped up tight. He'd often fall asleep in an instant while being wrapped, but now he's older and a big boy (8.5kgs now lol!), he hates being restricted. Sometimes, well I should say often, in the night when he wakes he ends up feeding in bed and we both fall asleep.

Why I chose those options? Because I wanted to follow the lead of my babies. Marisa needed the close comfort of co-sleeping, Elijah is just happy to sleep! So I will always choose what my baby prefers.

If anyone has used a hammock - why did you try this? how did you find it? How did you 'wean' baby to cot/ bed from the hammock?

Marisa - When Marisa was in the M&B Unit they seemed to be able to get her to sleep a little in the hammock. Argh I hate talking about it, it still upsets me... she was just so unhappy anywhere... I hired one when I got home, but as you know, she only ended up sleeping soundly snuggled up next to me.

If you are co-sleeping - is it bed sharing? cot next to bed? all night? part of the night?

Marisa - We all bedshared all night until she was about 2 and a bit. When we moved house to where we are now, she quite happily went off to her own bed, often sleeping all night. She still comes back when she's sick, scared or something is wrong (e.g. night frights at the moment or if thirsty), but she's always welcome in our bed - gives the best cuddles on a cold night

Elijah - Part of the night. He goes down in his cot around 7-8pm then wakes for a feed at 12am, sometimes he comes into our bed, sometimes he'll go back to sleep until 3am, then about this time he's pretty much in my bed until I wake (again, haha).

Is this your first bub or not?

1 & 2 bub

Any creative arrangements?

Hehehe do you mean, one arm and leg in, one arm and leg out, with one bum cheek covered with the corner of the doona? She's a bed hog LOL. On a night where they are both unsettled, sometimes all four of us snuggle up together - but of course I never let Marisa sleep next to Elijah.

[anney]

Hi Pinky,
Our little darling will be 3 in July and I can't see her sleeping in a room of her own until she decides to do it herself. I have rolled the questions into one long answer.

Until she was about 4 months she slept in a bassinet by our bed. There is no way I could sleep with a little baby in our bed, I was too scared she would be smothered. She has always been a good sleeper, once she got to sleep but was difficult to settle. I often used a breastfeed to settle her at night so she would fall asleep in our bed and we would move her. She moved into a cot in her own room for about 2 months and then due to my anxiety about some health problems she was having, we moved the cot into our room. At 7 months she started teething seriously and got a cold so was waking up to 5 times a night so she started sleeping with us until she was about 18 months. She always manages to turn herself around until she is horizontal on the bed so at 18 months we put her in the cot. Then for about a year she would wake at about 5.30 every morning and I would put her in with us so we could also sleep until 7.30.

Since she turned 2 and a half we have tried her in her own bed but she gets uncovered and falls out so often, I have to get up to check her 5 times a night. We have moved the single bed into our room next to our bed so we just all sleep in the same room. There are only the 3 of us and it suits us. (she is our first and probably only bub) Although she set the scene in the beginning as she was difficult to settle and woke alot, alot of the decisions we have made have been about convenience for me because I work part time and love my sleep . She could probably now go into her own bed but I find it more convenient to have her in with us.
I should add, DP is not of a western background and is very happy with the cosleeping.

[christy]

Hiya


Matilda co-slept with us from minute one... we coslept until she was 10 weeks when she refused to sleep near us...so she went into a cot at the base of the bed and would sleep there until early morning & then join us. At 14 weeks Matilda moved into her own room & slept heaps better on her own. From that day onwards whenever we brought her into our room for a "family" sleep, she refused will not sleep with us in the bed with her. I was very sad because I felt like I lost contact with her. Now at 11 months and realising that a HUGE part of her personality is being independant it makes sense, but I was pretty upset over it. She had one sleep alone in her bed away from us and that was it, no going back.

[Lucy]

Pinky,

I am a hammock user. When I was pg with Olivia, a friend recommended the hammock to me (she had used one 13 years previously, for her daughter) and it immedietly struck me and my gut as "the way to go". It just looked and sounded like the most comfortable and safe little cosy bed. They are said to be great for minimising the SIDS risk which was a huge plus for me, and it just "felt right" for us.

Olivia was in the hammock from the moment she was born, and has always been a very good sleeper.....I am not sure if that is her nature, or due to the hammock, but either way, I will definately be using the hammock again for number two.

The bouncing up and down motion (that can be done by the baby or by the parent) lulls them off to sleep really quickly, and when they wake, it seems that they wake really slowly and gradually......Olivia has literally never woken up crying, not even as a newborn, because I beleive they feel so "secure" in the hammock.

For the first 4 months we had Olivia in the hammock in our bedroom with us. After this time, when BF was really well established along with a very predictable routine, Olivia started sleeping through the night from 7pm to 7am, so we moved her into her own room. She made this transition really well, with no issues whatsoever, and this actually helped ME sleep better as well!

Olivia is a titchy tiny baby girl, so she was able to stay in the hammock for ages......but we moved her into a traditional cot about 12 months. I was TERRIFIED of the transition, as the hammock allowed Olivia to settle and bounce herself off to sleep and I was convinced that a traditional cot would take us all backwards, but all of my fears were unfounded and she maintained great day sleeps (2 x 2 hours) and a 12 hour bight sleep in the cot without any problem at all.

In the hammock she slept on her back. Now she is in the cot she moves onto her tummy straigt away to sleep. But now she is 15 months, I have relaxed about the SIDS risk, so we are all happy.

HTH

[Phteven]

At the moment we use a combination of an amby hammock and co-sleeping.
For the first two months Yasin slept next to the bed in the bassinet insert for a 3-wheel pram. When he started to grow out of it we looked around for another option. I didn't want to put him in the cot in another room because I liked the ease of having him next to me for middle of the night feeds and I also found it reassuring to be able to hear him at night.
I had seen hammocks mentioned a few times so I looked into them a bit further and they really seemed to make sense to me.
Yasin is quite a lively baby who never wants to sleep if there might be something more interesting on offer but with the hammock he started self-settling without any intervention from us. Unfortunately, after we took him on a couple of holidays without the hammock he stopped doing that and now he needs to be bounced to sleep most of the time.
Even though I would love to lie down with him and give him a cuddle until he goes to sleep he really seems to prefer his hammock . He seems very fond of his hammock and definatly knows that its his sleepy place. When we go to his grand-parents they seldom let him sleep (Afghanis let thier kids run around until all hours while I think they should to bed early - its an area of contention!) and when we get home and put him in his hammock he sighs a big sigh of relief and goes straight to sleep. It really quite cute.
Most nights he goes to sleep in his hammock and ends up in our bed. This is mainly because I feed him lying down and I often go back to sleep towards the end of a feed and also he wakes up at six but if I bring him into bed I can often get an extra hours sleep (precious stuff in our house). We used to co-sleep more but he started waking me up every hour or so for a snack so I decided that for my own sanity it would be better if I made more of an effort to stay awake and put him back in his hammock after his feeds. Also I suspect that since I'm quite a restless sleeper I was waking him up. Another reason that I've cut back on the amount of co-sleeping in our house is that if DH comes home at night and finds Yasin in the bed he will sleep in the lounge so he doesn't disturb us which means that if he has alot of night-time commitments he can end up sleeping in the lounge for almost a week at a time and I miss him. DH and I both find that we sleep more deeply if Yasin is not in the bed so we wake up more refreshed and better able to deal with Yasin.
For now the combination of co-sleeping and hammock is working for us although I would be happier and better rested if Yasin would go back to self-settling and started sleeping through soon.
I'm really hoping that sleeping through arrives before he grows out of the hammock and has to move into his cot.
My MIL was horrified that we co-slept and tried to talk DH out of it on the grounds that it was dangerous. Some of my friends were also a bit funny about it but now they've started doing it themselves .
My cat is not a fan of co-sleeping because Yasin has moved into the place where he used to sleep but he has found a new spot behind my knees.

[Rouge]

Christy Paris was EXACTLY the same. I put her in her cot from day dot, and when I tried to co-sleep she wouldn't have a bar of it. Even MIL came to visit once and she loves cuddling babies to sleep, and kept telling me all she wants is a cuddle from nana. Anyway we went to the movies and she looked after Paris, we got home and the first thing she said was "She definitely knows what she wants" LOL we still laugh about it now because even MIL who is a babyaholic I can't tell you how many godchildren she has or to how many children she is a surrogate nana too! But yes I did go through that sadness too, we have probably managed to nap together about 5-10 times in our existance. And she only ever used to fall asleep on daddy's chest after her last feed before the morning (it was their special time). Thats probably the most of co-sleeping she had and its only co sleeping coz they both slept LOL otherwise she was a cot girl through and through. But like Kelly I will listen to my child if our next one is a co-sleeper I'll go with that. I don't mind either way.

Now to Pinky's Questions:

Where do your babies sleep? esp - why have you chosen this option - bassinet / cot/ hammock/ colseeping

Paris has slept in a cot from day dot, pretty much because thats what she wanted, she had a few rocks to sleep in my arms as a baby, but then would always go to the cot and I am lucky in that she's always been a good sleeper. We chose this option because its what she wanted, we tried co sleeping but she wouldn't have a bar of it.


Is this your first bub or not? Yep


Any creative arrangements ? I have come across some really interesting situations among parents

Nothing out of the ordinary although she did have a special routine for AGES and if it was out of whack even as a baby she would notice...It was plug (pacifier), wrap (usually muslin till about 8 mths...it was for security not really warmth) and mobile music (plays classical motzart, beethoven, chopin). And thats the way we did it for years, I think children should be settled in some way. I think it helps them to learn how to sleep and makes for a better nights sleep. I know Paris still gets settled in a way, we brush our teeth, read a book, she plays hide & seek under the doona and then she has cuddles & kisses and a last drink of water before we close the door. And you think about it who doesn't have a cuddle and a kiss of their DH before bed, or maybe even read a book? I think I have gone off topic a bit 8-[ But YKWIM....

*hugs*
Cailin

[Misty-fy]

I have always been far too scared of losing my baby to SIDS to allow sleeping anywhere but in the cot (cradle when first born). I always made up the bed to the SIDS guidelines too.

[Pinky McKay]

Hello,
thankyou all so much. Its lovely to see such diversity - really shows that thereare a range of options as well as a great mix and match of styles to suit individual babies and families.

Best wishes and sweet dreams to all of you,

thanks,
Pinky

[Colleen]

Considering Jaykob has spent 70% of his life on the road, he seems to take to sleeping in a cot , in his own room, pretty well.

When Jaykob was born, the hospitals midwife said he promotes co-sleeping and explained the pros and cons to me.

For the first 6 weeks, he would sleep with me and occasionally through the day, nap in his cot.

At 6 weeks we left Darwin, travelling through the centre back to Melbourne. Alot of his sleeping was not in his car seat! or motel rooms, he never really gave me any problems.

We stopped at a place called Erldunda on the way home for a month and he slept back in with us.

When we got home, we co-slept for another month and then we moved into our own house and now.... he has his own room, own cot, own everything! he sleeps very well in his cot, almost the full night , so I am pleased.

I coped the "you'll never get him out of your bed once he's been in there sleeping with you" Well you know what? No-one knows your baby like you so stuff them I say hahaha

Colleen

[Kellee]

Where do your babies sleep? esp - why have you chosen this option - bassinet / cot/ hammock/ colseeping
We started Charlie in a bassinet next to our bed (I wanted him close and was nervous about something happening and me not being there). For the first 2 or 3 months he started in the bassinet and ended up in bed with us (especially when he woke after 3 and DH had to get up for work at 5 - he slept better this way). We moved the bassinet into Charlie's own room at around 3 1/2 - 4 months, moved him into his cot around 4 1/2 months. It wasn't until 6 1/2 months that we stopped co sleeping entirely. He was also wrapped until about 5 1/2 months.



If you are co-sleeping - is it bed sharing? cot next to bed? all night? part of the night?
It was bed sharing. More often that not it was Charlie sleeping on my chest or DH's chest.

Is this your first bub or not? Yes.