Our Parents' Generation

[Berry]

Just curious whether dad's of the previous generation generally attended the birth and whether they actively participated in parenting babies and young children?

[BellyBelly]

I think from memory dads were allowed in the birth room sometime in the 70's.

Something very touching for me that I only recently found out was that my dad was born at home, along with all his brothers and sisters (lots of them hehehe) - so when I talked about homebirth with him for the first time a few months ago, he didn't bat an eyelid. He told me he was born in front of the fireplace which his dad kept stocked while his mum was in labour... so beautiful... my dad was born in England were this was more common.

[Berry]

Hi Kelly - what a lovely, natural birth experience that would have been.

My parents are English too and dad was a welcome participant in the birth rooms. I was just curious as I had heard from others of that generation that dads were sometimes discouraged from attending the birth.

[christy]

My Dad wasn't there, but when my Mum was born her Father was because they lived on the farm & all 9 girls were born at home

[BellyBelly]

Here's one for you then - my grandfather was at my mother's birth, only because they had decided to go out for dinner to Pizza Hut for the night and guess who went into labour!!! So yeah, mum was born in an ambulance, in a Pizza Hut carpark in South Australia, dad in attendance LOL

[BellyBelly]

ps. sorry for hi-jacking your post, will leave now LOL

[Phteven]

My mother wouldn't allow my father at her births. She had two home births so my poor old Dad was kicked out of his home from when the midwife arrived until after she gave birth. I suspect he went to the pub!! LOL.

[Berry]

Not at all, Kelly. Keep those birth stories of yesteryear coming, they are fascinating!

My grannie came from a family with 10 kids. Grannie was one of twins, born prematurely, and the midwife attending the birth at Grannie's parents home suggested that Grannie be put aside to die!!! as she was the smaller, weaker twin. Thankfully her mum decided to go against this advice, swaddled and nurtured her to health.....

[Ambah]

I'm pretty sure my dad was at my and my 4 sisters births (1977 - 1987) but may have to clarify that with Mum...

I don't think DP's dad attended his or his brothers births though (1980/1982)

[Lucy]

My Dad was at all our births. There are 5 of us, born from 1957 through to 1971. My oldest brother and then the twins were born at home. (They weren't aware it was twins till the nurse said "I think there may be another one in there" LOL!) My Dad helped out with those, which was "frowned upon" apparently, but he stuck his guns.

I was born in a hospital (prem) and my Dad was there.

And then my younger brother was born in hospital (Mum had pre-eclampsia with him), and my Dad was there too.

I remember asking him how he felt about watching all of his children being doen, and he indiated that whilst he didn't find it earthmoving, he was glad to be of help, and that it was "technically interesting". (Not a man of much romance!)

[*Jessica*]

When Aidan's birth was getting closer I tried to pump information from my Mum. A couple of things she said were interesting...

1. She remembered almost nothing about mine or my sisters birth, as back then, epidurals were sooo strong
2. My Dad was present (I think), and as far as he remembers it was uncommon to have anyone else (eg. my Mum wanted her Mum to be there but it didnt happen)
3. Only today (9 months after I had Aidan) did she tell me she had 'difficulty' in conceiving, then my Dad went on to say 'oohh it was atleast 6 months and then we had an appointment at the specialist'. But as luck would have it they conceived just before the appt (the specialist tried to give Mum a rubella injection but my Dad refused, they didnt know Mum was pregnant, lucky Dad intervened). Anyway, they obviously didnt have to wait as long for 'nature to take its course' as we do now.

Things have changed in only 30 years, yet I still cant imagine much changing in another 30!

Jess

[Adnil]

my dad wasnt there for mine (1980) or my brothers' births, and my mum said she was happy with it that way. he just dropped her at the hospital then came back when it was all done!!

for the birth of DH (1965)his mother gave birth at about 6am, and the doctor was worried to ring her husband because he didnt want to get him out of bed so early in the morning!!!!! [-X can you believe that!!!! (mind you she told him to ring then and there)

[{sarah}]

My dad was sort of there for my sister's birth in 1977 - he was there for the induction & labour, but when they took mum for the c/s he wasn't allowed in. Worst thing was they knew she needed to have a c/s but in those days they said she wouldn't bond with the baby unless she had been in labour first :shock: So she was induced & in labour for 12hrs before the inevitable c/s was done. Everyone got to see my sister & cuddle her before mum did & she was very annoyed about it. For the rest of us (1979, 1984, 1985) dad saw us only once mum came out of the GA as per her request.

Dad was always around when we were growing up but as we got older we could see that he wasn't reallt involved all that much. Today though with Zander he plays, feeds, changes etc whenever he can. Mum is constantly amazed at how much more he has done for his grandson in 6 months than while all four of us were little. My grandfather was very hands off so we think that's where dad got it from.

[simone]

my dad was there for our arrivals, all 6 of us. He delivered my brother (#3)-the doctor was on his way to a game of golf when mum finally went into labour, and the doc told him "Bevan, you've seen this enough, it's your turn to have a go!" He held mums hand thru the emergency c/s with #4, who wasnt expected to make it. He helped mum around the house as much as possible, while working long days. Know that mum has left, he is a single dad to 4 kids, between the ages of 16 and 11, and a shift worker. There's always dinner on the table, the house is always spotless and the washing is always done. He's a super dad!!
Dh's uncle was playing footy at the time his daughter was prem born. He finished the game, went to hosp, cut the cord, and went to after game celebrations at the pub while his partner went in the ambulance with their only child, who was having the usual trouble assoc. with premmies!! she's only 16, so this wasnt that long ago....

[Berry]

Yay for all the dads who were there for their child-bearing partners!

My father-in-law told me he stayed away from the births of his three children (1971-1976) and never changed a nappy in his life as that was just how it was in those days.....hmmmmm

[Mihn]

My dad was present for 3/4 of mum's births and only missed the last one because mum was in a toilet cubicle with the midwife when the baby arrived after two contractions and there wasn't room for him! :chairfall:

My DF has indicated he doesn't want to be at any births, but I would like him to be a hand holder, not at the business end! Then again, if I had my mum and my aunt with me, I wouldn't mind if he didn't come into the room, so long as he wasn't far away (like out in the hall or something!).