Child Support and Access question

[Sammiejane]

Hi all,

I have a question relating to recieveing child support and parental access...
i will give a bit of background, i hope i get this right.

A friend discovered she was pg with her beautiful bubba boy after breaking off a non serious relationship. The 'father' (lets call him steve) had moved O/S and was initially was supportive of my friend (lets call her Jane) even though they would not be together...
Once Jane decided that she was going to go through wit the pg, she informed Steve, who then decided that he wanted nothing to do with any of it.

Once Jane had her DS, she wanted to get Steve's name on the birth certificate.... so that her DS had a name in the father spot not a blank space...
To cut a long story short there is now DNA testing as he refuses to sign the certificate (possibly something to do with a reconcilliation between him and his ex wife and kids)

Now after that long winded story, here comes the question...

Jane is being contacted by the CSA and telling her that she should be recieving CS and they wish to collect it for her.

Jane is concerned that of she receives payments and goes down that path, Steve with have a 'right' to access and she will have to grant it. (please bare in mind that there has been no contact since she was about 16wks pg, other than the birth cert stuff.)

I didnt think that this was the case (CS is more abput managing the responsibility and sharing the cost of raising the child), but thought that i would ask those in the know

I hope this all makes sense, hopefully someone can help us out with answering this question

thanks

[Lulu]

No they are two separate things. He has to pay child support no matter what, but if he wants to see the child he will have to take her to court for access. I was worried the ex might try to gain access to DD but I was told at the time (he hadn't seen her for 3 years) to laugh, shut the door in his face and wait for court papers......which never arrived.

It would be a long process (for him) but I'd say if he was getting back with his wife and kids he may be distracted somewhat....NEVER knock back child support no matter what kind of a twat he is. Being on your own every bit helps!

[Sammiejane]

Thanks Lulu...

I have told her that i think that she should take the CS, regardless of whether she needs it or not, it can go in an account for her DS to have later...

[Lulu]

It will be the easiest thing to let the CSA chase it for her, all she has to do is give permission. She will not have to deal with him at all and in any case she can't reject it - its law that the parents support the child!

[~Jo~]

I agree with Lulu. It will be so much easier if CS collect for her. This baby is financially his responsibility, and its hard to claim any sorts of benefits from centrelink without having made adequate attempts at getting CS for the child in question. I doubt very much that any attempts would be made to get in touch with baby just because of payments, and even if he does, there are rules that need to be followed. My eldest dd's bio dad has been paying CS consistently for 4 years now and his contact with the children has not increased at all despite numerous threats that it was his right. The kids have rights too..they arent simply objects to be used for anyone else's gratification.

Jo

[Sammiejane]

This question came about as she went to get him baptised and the priest said that the fathers consent need to be gained... basically she is worried that she is going to continually 'consult' him for and gain his consent for throughout her bubbas life as he is the father and would rather not go down the track of CS if it meant that this was going to be the case.

[briggsy's girl]

CS and access aren't inter-related at all and you've been given some great advice

one thing i'll add though - if CSA are telling your friend she is entitled to CS, and she opts NOT to take it - she will not be meeting the maintenance action requirements for family tax benefit, and will lose about $103 a fortnight from her payment - so not only is she down the money he should legally be paying, but also money she could be getting from FAO. if the CSA collect the money, and he chooses not to pay, they will keep record of it, and can hunt him for arrears indefinitely...

[Jesswith6]

I agree with what the others have said.
My eldest DS biological father (I would rather call him something else!) disowned his son from the moment we broke up and 2 yrs down the track wanted access, we had to go through the whole court process and they granted him access once a fortnight(which he stopped doing 6 yrs ago), he also had a massive back pay to give me, ($12,000) That took 7 yrs to pay off and then when he had $100 to pay he did it in a lump sum, leaving me with a centrelink debt.
Tell your friend to go for the maintenance, it may not be a lot but its worth it in the long run

[Lulu]

Ahh Ok. Well from someone single since DD was 5 months old, I can't think of any time I needed the fathers consent. I just told them he wasn't around and I think (to annoy some rude person) I have once said he was dead....She's not baptised though. I totally understand where your friends is coming from. School, medical treatments - none of them were ever a problem.

TBH, the only problem I can think of is if she wants to take the child overseas as you definitely need the consent of the other parent for the passport.

[mum5boyz]

This question came about as she went to get him baptised and the priest said that the fathers consent need to be gained... basically she is worried that she is going to continually 'consult' him for and gain his consent for throughout her bubbas life as he is the father and would rather not go down the track of CS if it meant that this was going to be the case.

I did not need my two oldest boys father's consent to have them baptised in a Catholic church. It did need to go outside my own parish as our parish priest would not baptise "bastard" children (even though I had been married to their dad but in an Anglican church) - and after he called them that I wouldn't have wanted him to. As the priest who did baptise them said every child should have to right to be baptised, regardless of the parents.

[Jesswith6]

I have never heard such rot in my life about needing the "fathers" consent to be baptised!
All I told my Priest was that they weren't in the picture and it was only me.

[Muppity]

I agree with everyone else. While some non-custodial parents hold support payments over the other parent's head over access they are not related at all and aren't a bargaining chip. the CSA will try to get the money from him regardless of the access etc.

As for requiring his consent. Usually saying that he isn't in the picture is enough - it was probably jsut a church or even Priest thing - some are old fuddy duddies.

[Sammiejane]

Thanks girls for your comments, i am going to forward them to her...

feel free to add more thou