am i completely unreasonable

[kps]

So I am on my 2nd stim cycle we got a BFP on 1st cycle but miscarriage at 9 wks

I am on day 8 of injections tomorrow and had a BT today - they want me in on Wednesday for scan BT and possibly to get the trigger. I asked if I could do the BT and scan on Thu but the response I got makes me feel like I am so unreasonable. I start work at 6am and do a 12 hour shift so not arriving at work until 9-9.30 is alot of time to make up. Means I will not leave until 9-9.30pm. I only work on Tue and Wed this week.

I am trying so hard not to make IVF the whole focus of my life - last time I was knitting baby clothes and researching cots and prams etc and now I have put all that stuff in a box and trying to look at the whole thing as the long term (and not guaranteed) process that it really is.

Is it so unreasonable to try and fit this around the rest of my life. If I needed a test/procedure on a Sunday it would be ok to go the day before / after as the clinic is closed. If the process is flexible enough to fit in with the clinic hours and work load why are my non fertility needs not so important.

I guess it is unreasonable of me to be so mad but I dont want to tell everyone at work - its none of their business and I am running out of good excuses. Please tell me to get over it I think I need it today - perhaps it is all the hormones

[Kmn]

I think that trigger day is not something that you can control - you do need to trigger when everything else is optimal for the best outcome.
You could get a medical certificate for the morning if that helps with work - they are pretty general in what is on the certificates.

[kps]

thanks for your reply

Wed is the first look at the follicles to see if there are enough and when most of them should be mature enough for pick-up. I pick up the trigger injection so I have it on hand and can take it 36 hours before EPU which I wont know when that is until after Wed (clinic said maybe Sat). As I understand it that does the last bit of 'cooking' so the eggs are ready to be released and then get picked up on EPU so you are right that has to be timed almost perfectly.

I know I should just feel lucky enough to be able to do IVF but if I am to do this 5-6 times before success I guess I should just look for another job where I dont have such and early start. then I feel guilty because to start a job while trying to get pregnant is a little unfair. I need another injection for all this guilt I think!!!

i feel a bit more reasonable now and think I was overeacting because I am so scared of a BFP and then the overwhleming fear of another miscarriage.

Thanks again for your reply

[Kmn]

No - what you need to realise is that infertility is a medical problem. If you were taking time off work for a few mornings in a month to get your elbow repaired you wouldn't be feeling guilty.
But because in theory you have the option to decide not to have children you somehow think that this isn't medical treatment and falls under a different banner - I don't actually think that is the case.

You also need to be aware that the ivf drugs mess with your emotions and your ability to cope with simple things in some very strange ways - so don't feel guilty and don't be hard on yourself if you can possibly avoid it...