I'm staying at SIl's for couple of days and last night when they got home from dinner with their DD who is same age as Mackenzie (14 months) she was carrying her sleeping. I commented on how good it was she could carry her from the car to the house without her waking. She then said that she was "a bit" naughty and actually sat in the backseat with her in her arms with the belt around them both.
What do I do? I couldn't believe it - I sat there with my mouth wide open so I think she realised how shocked I was. what would you do? Has anyone else done this? She also said they only do it on short trips so it wasn't the first time....but I know it was about a 10 minute trip. It is so scary to think people make these choices - or am I being to judgemental?
IMO I wouldn't do it myself. BUT I have done it when in a taxi... for 40 minutes to somewhere. We ordered a car seat and the taxi driver came with one that wasn't connected to an anchor point and he didn't have one.... so I put Jovie in the Hug-a-bub sling and felt more safe with her that way. We've also had to do it another time when in a taxi and they didn't show with the seat so I had to go into another taxi and they didn't have one.
We've always ordered them, but they haven't come.... so I guess I don't like it, but I've done it in a taxi and I don't know that I would trust a taxi driver more than DH....
This is what I did when I read that line "she was "a bit" naughty and actually sat in the backseat with her in her arms with the belt around them both".
I could not do this... I just think, 'what if'.
My mind thinks in overdrive at the best of times .
Last edited by DaintreeDream; November 22nd, 2008 at 07:02 AM.
: Typo... oops!
Just because theyre asleep no way.
But i must admit a few months back when DS was severely sick i held him in the back seat when we went to hospital as he couldnt stop throwing up. Mind you this was at 1am and the hospital is down the end of our street. In any other case no way would i ever.
But i would have had the same reaction as you.
Hmm thats not on at all. I wouldnt do it. When DD was about 4 months old my friend asked me to 'jump in' to her car, and just hold DD. I too was gobsmacked and it actually really annoyed me that she cared that little. Needless to say I said NO WAY!
A local family here did the same thing here, except the 18 mont old was in the front seat with mum and dad was driving, the 5 year old was in the back. Again driving home, 2 min down the street, at 11am at night, but they were hit by a drunk driver. All spent a considerable amount of time in hospital.
you may trust the person driving, but do you trust the others on the road?
I would talk to our SIL.. if you are close enough.. just say you felt really uncomfortable about how they had thier DD in the car.. then get as much information to back yourself up.. That is not on.. and it is illegal..
If she doesn't want to listen then at least ask her to let her DD have her own seatbelt.. Thats safer then being in one with her mother.. If they had an accident your SIL would squash your niece and most likely kill her..
I get so damn mad when I hear how stupid people are with kids in cars..
You just CANNOT put the belt around both mum and bub because mums weight will literally squash baby in the event of a crash.
I *think the best alternative is baby in a capsule behind the drivers seat on the floor. Or belt on mummy holding bubs, not around baby. Always sit behind the driver because in the event of a crash a driver will instinctively steer themselves away from the impact.
If you do have a seat with no anchor point, its ok to have them in the seat with the belt around the entire seat.
I would possibly feel more comfortable with someone that drove for a living iykwim?
I have never & would never do it just coz they are sleeping, but I have had to do it.
I had to do it today. DS was screaming in the back of the car. We were only 10 minutes away from home, so I just tried to talk to him, but he started vomitting.
I left him the first time, but he did it again & started choking on it, so honestly IMO he was safer in my sisters arms. Otherwise he would've kept screaming & vomitting & choking.
I had already stopped to feed him & try to calm him down, but as soon as he went back in his seat he worked himself up again.
Just so you know it is actually safer if you have to do it to only have yourself in the seat belt. Not the child as they can get hurt more between you & the seatbelt.
Its not an everyday thing. I've only done it twice. The first time with one of the girls. I don't like to do it, but sometimes it is done out of necessity.
I personally don't think a sleeping child is a good enough excuse.
I think it was your SIL"s choice and even though it's something you wouldnt' do, she decided in that circumstance it was ok. I wouldn't think she was doing it to be irresponsible, I think she just made a choice for that moment. It's easy to say the "what if's" but really, it' s their decision.
However, if you really feel you want to say something, take it away from them and make it about someone else. ie "I was a bit concerned about you holding the baby because there are some CRAZY drivers out there, especially at that time, coming home from an arvo/night at the pub etc", then she won't feel it's personal. xoxo
Well, I can understand some of the other members on here circumstances (going to hospital, taxi with no anchor point) but I don't really see why SIL NEEDED to do it... just so she wouldn't wake up? I know sometimes that can be a big deal if you have a hard to settle bub but... i don't think it warrants taking risks like that...
Ok, she justified it because it was only "a short trip". My answer to that would be "at a time of night and time of year where there are likely to be a high number of drunken and/or celebrating but inexperienced young drivers on the road".
I personally would tell her it's illegal for a reason and then I'd offer to ring my friend who's an ER doctor so he could tell her why she shouldn't be taking these sorts of chances.
OMG !!! This must be more common than I thought. We had Mothers Group here a few weeks back and one of the Mothers walked here with DD in a pram and by the time we had finished it was quite hot so she accepted a lift from one of the other Mothers. I was wondering how that was going to work because the other Mum only had one capsule and to my horror, the first mother got into the FRONT seat holding her DD in her lap. They were only going a short distance but that short distance in our estate includes about 4 roundabouts which are notorious for accidents. She just got into the front seat like she had done it a million times before.....
I think there is maybe a one in a million reason why I would do this, otherwise I don't think its acceptable for any reason whatsoever, and certainly not just because your baby was asleep when you got into the car. When we recently went on holiday we left the car at the airport in long term parking, and then took trains and walked to our hotel at our destination. I wouldn't drive with my baby unrestrained at home so I don't see why it should be ok to do it when I'm away - taxi or not. The parking cost us a fortune but it was nothing in return for the peace of mind it gave me that my girls were as safe as they can be while travelling.
I find it really difficult to understand how people can consider convenience more important than their child's safety.
I'm gobsmacked!
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