Hi all,
I'm sure there are similar threads around here but I just wanted to put my personal situation out there to get your feedback on things.
I'm a full-time stay at home mum of a gorgeous little girl, and we are expecting a little sister for her in late May. I love being with her full-time and I thank my lucky stars every day that I am able to have a choice in whether to work or stay at home (thankfully my husband and I are in the position of being able to live on a modest single income, I feel for mums and dads who are forced back to work for financial reasons), but a friend suggested to me recently that I should try putting my daughter in day care for one day a week, for various reasons.
One of the major reasons is that she is a pretty big handful, she's very, very smart and her doctor is adamant that she is 'extremely advanced' for her age (she's 17 months but her doctor's 'checklist' tells us she's got the mentality of a 28-month-old) and I think I would be doing her a favour by giving her the chance to be around other kids and maybe learn something from them. I have found that most other kids her age are normal or a bit slower (a friend's little boy is eight weeks older, and while mine started walking at 8 months, he is still not walking at 19 months), and I think she would benefit from interacting and socialising with other children. I'm a young mum, and to be honest most of my friends are still living at home with their parents and aren't in serious relationships, let alone having families, so my little girl doesn't get much of a chance to socialise and I think it would do her a world of good to be able to play with other kids, rather than just boring old mum all day, every day. I know that her speech and things like that could be so much better than what they are now, but she gets lazy with me because I know what she wants before she even knows it, so she doesn't need to tell me things.
Another, much smaller reason, is that because I am pregnant, I tire very easily and have trouble at times coping with such an adventurous little girl. Again, I think it would be good for both of us to have the occasional break from each other so she can go and play and I can do things like catch up on housework, run errands and maybe even have a little bit of 'me' time - something I can barely remember even existed in the first place!
If putting her in daycare turns out to be the right choice for us, I would also love the opportunity to use my free day to pursue study at TAFE or something and try to further my education so that when it comes time for the kids to go to school, I will have an easier time finding the right job and going back to (at least) part-time work (to start off with, my goal is to be in full-time work when I feel they are old enough, and when arrangements can be made for their care after school etc). So I just don't want anybody out there thinking I want to dump my kid in daycare so I can have a bludge day and go get my nails done, it's not like that (although if other mums want to do that, then go for it I say!!).
I'd just like her to get used to not having mummy on call 24 hours a day so that when the new baby arrives, she might cope a bit better, maybe be a bit less jealous, and make some new little friends that she wouldn't be able to meet any other way. She's quite a social little thing and I think she is a bit starved for new company, as the only people she sees on a regular basis are me and her father, my parents, and one or two close friends.
I called a couple of centres this afternoon to talk about costs and availability, and am leaning towards an ABC centre a couple of suburbs away. I'm going to pick up an enrolment package and have a look at the place tomorrow to see if this centre will be a good fit for my darling little girl, and I'm just wondering if any other mums can give me some tips on what to look for, what questions to ask, and that kind of thing.
Also, if you were in my shoes, would you put your child in day-care for one day a week, for the reasons I have stated? Do you think I am doing the right thing?
How concerned should I be about things like the spread of illness? (She is immunised against everything but chickenpox, which is due soon, and in her whole life she's only had a sniffle and cough that lasted two days, she's very, very healthy and her immune system seems to be able to take a good beating and come out totally unscathed.)
What other concerns should I know about, perhaps things as far as the reliability of the staff etc?
I'm not really worried about her not adjusting properly (because it's infrequent), as one day a week is the only vacancy the centre has right now and I really can't afford to spend more than what I will be on day-care, besides, I would feel terrible if I were taking a place off a mum who really needed the spot because she does need to work. And, as I said, she's such an adaptable and sociable child that I have no doubt that she'll look forward to her one day a week and enjoy it thoroughly.
Hi
I am in the same position.My daughter is 16mths and is quite advanced, adventurous and extremely independent. And she has also just given up day time naps ! ahh! So in a fortnight she will be starting one day a week. I am feeling quite torn and guilty at this stage as to whether i have made the right decision?? but in the end i think she will really benefit from the social interaction and the endless opportunity for play! If after a month she shows signs of regressing in development or stress i will pull her out and in turn if she flourishes will up the days! I did a bit of research and they say as long as they are nurtured at home they should not have any problems. But eek i feel for you such a hard decision!
Also definitely great idea to pursue studies. I am doing part time study at uni and i love it!
Well all the best hope it works out for you.
Well after reading through all of your points, I definately say go for it. If it gives you a bit of a break & a day where you can pursue your studies, its a good idea. The first few times DD will probably cry for you, and no doubt you will be upset as well. It takes time, but before you know it she will love going to daycare. My DD is 15 months and goes two days a week. This first year in care she copped it big time with illnesses, but as time goes by she hasnt been picking up as much. Go for it!
Hi there
I am with the other ladies - give it a try! You can always pull the pin if it is not working for you.
Our nearly 18 month old son is getting a lot from being in CC a couple of days a week whilst I work.
My suggestions in facing the decision making are as follows:
1. Accept that pretty constant illness will be a part of your life for 12 months or so. It's tough but you get through it. Do you have support to manage through this winter with a crook toddler and a new bub? Unfortunately you do need to consider that side of it.
2. In deciding where to send her, go with your gut - you really do need to do a look see a t a number of centres. Try to drop in unannounced to see what really goes on, most centres have no problems with this if you just explain you were in the area and interested in care etc. Late morning or mid afternoon are probably good times to go as many places have toddlers have a nap after having an earliesh lunch so if you are there at lunchtime you may not see too much happening. Spend some time chatting to the carers in the room your little one will go into.
If you decide to go ahead rest assured that she will eventually settle in and LOVE it.
Good luck
Belinda!
My 2 munchkins go to daycare 3 days a week. From my experience of seeing some of the other children who really struggle with the daycare environment it is sadly often the ones who only go 1 day per week. I have no idea why this is the case - perhaps because they don't get settled in by only going 1 day.
On the positive side both my children love their centre (an ABC centre that is staffed by wonderful caring women), and have really opened up since starting. My DS is way more advanced than the other boys in the toddler room.
My DD however has only just started walking in the last 2 weeks - she didn't see the point her adoring big brother would seem to know what she wanted and deliver toys to her!
Thanks for the advice and support, ladies.
DD had her first day at daycare yesterday, and by all accounts from the carers, she had a lovely time. DH and I dropped her off in the morning, she didn't even want to kiss us goodbye because she was too busy making friends and discovering all the fun toys in the playground. DH and I were a bundle of nerves all morning, worrying about her, but I resisted the urge to call every five minutes to check on her (except for one phone call to let the carers know that her dummy was in the front pocket of her backpack and she would need it for naptime), and when I picked her up at 4:30 one of the ladies assured me that she'd enjoyed herself immensely apart from a few minor tears over the course of the day (when she got tired).
She'd crawled into a corner and gone down for a second nap (and this NEVER happens, so she must have worn herself out immensely!!) just before I arrived and when I went into the next room to collect her, she was cuddled up with another carer, crying her heart out - a little boy had been so excited to see his dad arrive to pick him up that he'd tripped over DD while she was asleep and woken her up!
She waved goodbye to everybody and was very, very happy to see Daddy when we picked him up from work straight after.
DH and I both fell asleep on the couch while watching the news (it was raining all day, DH hasn't been feeling well and I'd been on my feet all day running errands) and when I woke up an hour later, DD was sitting quietly on the couch reading a book and patting the dog - and she NEVER, EVER sits still, usually the minute your back is turned she's into some godawful mischief, but nothing had been touched so she must have just been sitting quietly the whole time. I'm pretty sure that means she got all the stimulation she needed for the day at daycare and was content to just be around mummy and daddy when she got home - I got up and bathed her, gave her a bottle and she went straight down, so I think daycare was good for her.
I'm really excited about it now, can't wait for next Wednesday - she seemed to have a good time and I know now I'm doing the right thing for her.
Going to give day-care a try
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